"Emiya?"
"Emiya?"
Roman, having bumped into Fujimaru Ritsuka, came over sweating profusely, having been searching for Shirou.
"Why aren't you saying a word? Weren't you supposed to take part in the solo big-eater challenge? Why didn't I see you?"
You have to know. He came to watch the challenge, found Shirou absent, thought the guy had lost his way, and frantically called more than twenty times.
Not a single pickup.
Little did he know, out of fright, any rustle would make Shirou jump like he'd just finished the Holy Grail War.
In short: a stress response.
So when the first call came in, his B-rank reflexes kicked in fully.
In less than a second he ended the call and shut off his phone.
Thus he had no idea Roman had called so many times afterward.
Right now Shirou's expression could only be described as more numb than Mash's. He turned stiffly, and with a smile that only a zombie could manage, said, "Teacher Roman, if you keep shouting, I'll have to kill to cover it up."
"Kill—"
Roman froze, his gaze moving over Artoria, Mash, and Fujimaru Ritsuka who had joined Mash whispering, then stopped on Sakura.
Realizing the situation was bad, Roman awkwardly turned his head, "Um, well—"
"Shirou."
"Onii-chan."
Two small, pretty girls stopped in their tracks.
Miyu and Illya tilted their heads in unison, question marks appearing above them, "Shirou, what's with that outfit?"
"Onii-chan?", Miyu called softly.
"Hey!", Sella, full of murderous intent, snapped, "You said it was just… shopping with pretty girls?"
"No, no, I can explain," Shirou was sweating buckets.
"What!"
Fujimaru Ritsuka suddenly shouted, eyes full of horror, "So we recognized the wrong person? Artoria's become Emiya-kun's girlfriend now?"
That cutting remark changed everyone's expressions on the spot.
Crunch!
Fists clenched until knuckles cracked.
Silence erupted like a volcanic blast.
Sella looked like a demon god on earth, the end times painted behind her, and she activated her heavenly fire judgment, "Perpetrator, do you have any excuses? But let me warn you. Every word you speak from now on will be counted as evidence of your crimes!"
"Shirou… you bastard!", Even Liz complained, which was rare.
Miyu's big eyes shimmered with tears, "Onii-chan, you actually—"
"Shirou, you liar!", Illya was furious, "You said you'd be with me forever."
Kaede Madera and Yukiko Saegusa, who rushed up behind, stopped in their tracks.
"Gulp~"
The terrifying aura made both of them gulp.
Kaede laughed nervously and said to Yukiko, "This probably wasn't the best timing for us to come."
Yukiko: "…"
She was close to fainting.
———
'What to do, what to do!'
One could already foresee the drawn blade being ready.
Still, it wasn't that he couldn't explain.
And at a time like this you absolutely mustn't panic.
This reasoning came from Shirou reading the "Sixty-one Techniques to Prevent Being Cut Down (Totally Made Up)."
So he abandoned any hint of a costume, squared his shoulders, and put on an expression like he'd done nothing wrong.
First he complimented, "Miyu, you look so cute today I want to hold you in my arms."
"Oni… i-Onii-chan."
Miyu's face flared bright red; she shyly rubbed her small hands and muttered, "W-well… that's because I didn't know Onii-chan would come, so I didn't get dressed up or anything."
Her tone carried a little complaint.
Because she knew Shirou wasn't coming, she'd worn casual outing clothes: a light-blue dress with a denim jacket.
"Miyu-chan like this is what Onii-chan likes the most," Shirou's tone was gentle.
If he'd been serious it would have been downright alluring.
"Umm~ Onii~"
Miyu's defenses collapsed.
"Shirou, you—"
Before Illya could voice her displeasure, Shirou lifted her high into the air.
As for the embarrassment of being watched, sorry, keeping alive matters more, so with the heroic line of "I must save the world," he shouted, "Onee-san is the best! Long live Onee-san!"
"One..e—san…"
Illya began to feel dizzy.
Today's outing outfit: a light pink thin sweater with lace trim at the hem and cuffs, paired with a blue short skirt.
Maximum girlish vibe.
Taking advantage of Illya's dizziness, Shirou hugged her close and whispered in her ear softly, "Onee-san really looks good."
"Umm~", Illya's defenses sank.
After calming Illya, Shirou turned his gaze to Sella.
Meeting that look was like facing a mortal enemy, like a mouse meeting a cat, "W-what do you want to do?"
"I'll say first," she warned, "I'm not some noble lady, and I won't—"
He grabbed her hands earnestly, eyes sincere, "Sella, the meals you cook are those of a perfect wife."
"Per-per…"
Sella's eyes started spinning, steam practically puffing from her head.
So Sella's defenses fell too.
Next was Liz.
She stammered, "Shi—Shi—"
Before she could even finish the name properly, Shirou leaned close, "Liz, you're adorably dopey and so cute."
Then he pinched her cheeks.
Liz, delayed in her shyness, froze and was instantly defeated.
Roman's mouth was open wide enough to swallow the world.
Fujimaru Ritsuka and Mash were stunned, rather than calmed, more like, the two of them pressed their faces together, nervously and excitedly saying, "No way, Emiya finally can't hold back and is coming after us!"
Shirou couldn't stand it, "You two—"
"This is perfect, amazing!"
Nero, who'd been ignored until now, came before Shirou, eyes shining, "High-jump boy, I want to hire you as my court teacher. Teach me quickly, I want to learn this."
She was like a child who'd gotten the toy she liked, but an adult was holding it.
In short: she was desperate with anticipation.
Just: 'give it to me, now!'
"Girls, pretty girls, cute girls."
She danced excitedly, "All bowing before one person. Truly art, it is art!"
Shirou's mouth twitched incessantly, "What kind of art is this?"
He turned to Roman, "As a teacher at Chaldea Academy, aren't you going to do something?"
Roman thought seriously and gave an answer, "I think you're the one who needs to be disciplined most."
Shirou went quiet.
There was nothing to say.
Suddenly he remembered the two who had followed behind.
He looked up.
Don't get the wrong idea. He didn't want to lay hands on them; he worried they'd spread this story.
That look made the two jump in fright.
"No, Yukiko."
Kaede blocked the front, clutching her chest, "The succubus is coming for us!"
"No, don't go after Kaede. I-I'll do anything," Yukiko spoke with a sob in her voice.
Fujimaru Ritsuka immediately pulled Mash to her side, "To prevent classified information from leaking, has Emiya-kun extended his claws to innocent girls?"
"What kind of fate awaits the girl next?"
"Emiya-kun."
Mash had been holding it in, and finally said, "You are heartless!"
[T/N: 🤣🤣🤣🤣]
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