Hachiman's POV
Finally, training with Rice was over. I should have been on my way home, enjoying the sweet, solitary bliss of the afternoon. Instead, I found myself being marched down the hall like a high-value prisoner. Mr. CB and Symboli Rudolf had essentially escorted me to Ms. Tazuna's office, where I just finished signing my life away.
Throughout the entire process, the two of them radiated a pressure so thick I could practically hear them saying, "You're not getting away this time." Do you have any idea what that feels like? Seriously. Even Ms. Tazuna was looking at me with—I don't know—pity? It was the kind of look you give a stray cat right before it gets sent to the vet. Totally unbearable.
"...Everything seems to be in order," Tazuna said, breaking the silence. "With this, the two of them are officially under the care of Trainer Hikigaya. Given your history with Rice Shower, I'm sure you're well-aware of the finer details, but I expect great things from you all."
"Right. Thanks," I muttered.
"Still…" Tazuna paused, looking between us. "This is quite an achievement."
"Don't look at me. I didn't do anything," I replied. "If anything, you should be impressed by their sheer persistence—or obsession, take your pick. They were breathing down my neck the entire time I was training Rice today."
Rudolf let out a soft, amused huff. "Now, Brother, you'll make me blush if you keep talking like that. Though, I can't say I mind the praise."
"Oh, stop it, Hachiman! You're such a flatterer!" CB chimed in, grinning.
"I was being sarcastic, you idiots. Pay attention," I sighed. It had been less than an hour since my new assignment orders were handed down. I hadn't even had a chance to look at the other girls before these two cornered me. "I didn't expect my roster to be filled before I even stepped out of the office."
"Is it really that surprising, though?" Tazuna asked with a knowing smile. "You've had Mr. CB and Symboli Rudolf joining your training sessions quite frequently as of late."
"I invited Rudolf," I corrected, "but the other one just started showing up out of nowhere. I don't know if she actually likes my training menu or if she's just a stray looking for a handout, but she's been haunting our clubroom like a ghost."
"Hey! Who are you calling a stray?!" CB pouted.
"Is there anyone else I know who treats Rice's and my clubroom like a second home? From now on, I'm charging you an entrance fee."
"Too bad! ♪" CB chirped, leaning in close. "I'm officially one of your girls now, which means I have a permanent pass to hang out whenever I want!"
"...Right. I forgot."
Rudolf stepped forward, her expression turning serious yet warm. "Regardless, Brother, I look forward to your guidance and discipline. I place my full trust in you."
"...Well, since I've signed the papers, I'm in it for the long haul. I'll look after you both. Just… try not to make me regret it."
"Very well," Tazuna said, bowing slightly. "I shall report this to the Chairwoman. Please, excuse me."
We left the office and began making our way down the hallway. It still felt surreal. The ink on the contracts wasn't even dry yet. They had cornered me the second I got back to the clubroom, and within two minutes, I was being forced into a long-term commitment. I swear, I don't know how my life ended up like this.
"I'm going to have to rewrite the entire training menu starting tomorrow…" I muttered, rubbing my temples.
"You can do it, Hachiman! I'm cheering for you!" CB cheered.
"Don't forget that the reason I have to do it is standing right next to me. This was way too fast… I mean, sure, it's easier to work with people I actually know, but give a guy a chance to breathe, will you?"
"We felt that the longer we waited, the more dangerous it would become," Rudolf explained calmly. "You're popular, Brother. Whether you realize it or not, the girls at this academy have started looking up to you like a big brother."
"Who? Me? A brother?" I scoffed. "I don't remember applying for that position. If people are calling me that, it's news to me…"
Rice… please. I need you to comfort me for just a minute.
Suddenly, CB's playful energy vanished. "Ugh…"
Rudolf narrowed her eyes. "Hm? What is… ah. I see."
I followed their gaze and felt my stomach drop. Perfect. I had just run into the one person I absolutely did not want to deal with today. Is there some cosmic entity out there whose only job is to ruin my afternoon?
Standing in our way was a senior trainer—one of the types who took himself far too seriously.
"Hey, Hikigaya," he spat, looking at us with narrowed eyes. "What are you doing with those two?"
"...Would you believe me if I told you?" I asked.
"Depends on what you say."
"Then you definitely won't believe me, so there's no point in explaining. If you'll excuse us." I tried to sidestep him, but he blocked my path.
"Hey. I asked you a question. Answer it."
"And I told you it's a waste of breath since you've already decided I'm up to no good, so I'm not go—"
"We're his new trainees," CB interrupted, her voice uncharacteristically sharp. "We just finished the paperwork and we're heading home. Anything else?"
The senior trainer froze. "...What?"
"I'm not saying it twice," CB said. "Now that we've answered your question, let's go, Hachiman."
"Wait a damn minute!" the senior shouted. "He's only supposed to have one trainee! How the hell can he take on both of you?!"
"I thought it might be useful to carry this," Rudolf said, pulling a document from her pocket. "This is the official notice the Chairwoman sent to the Student Council just moments ago. It bears Akikawa's official seal. It's quite real."
She handed the paper to the man. As he read it, his hands began to tremble. I watched in mild annoyance as the paper started to wrinkle under his grip. Hey, buddy, that's Student Council property. Take it easy.
"As you can see," Rudolf continued, "we asked him to be our trainer, and he accepted. It's as simple as that."
The man was shaking now, his face turning a mottled red.
"I'd like that back now, if you don't mind," Rudolf added.
"...Hey, Hikigaya," the trainer hissed, his voice low and toxic. "How did you do it? How did you suck up to the Chairwoman and these two?"
"Excuse me?"
"You did something, didn't you? You probably put on some act about being 'dedicated' just to climb the ladder, hiding your real motives behind a fake smile."
"Could you not just pull theories out of your ass?" I replied. "I only found out about the assignment myself an hour ago."
"Give me a better lie than that! You're just in it for the money, aren't you? You won two Classic titles with Rice and took home the Best Classic Trainer award. You got greedy, didn't you?"
CB stepped in front of me, her eyes flashing with a coldness I rarely saw. "Listen. You don't know anything about Hachiman, so keep your mouth shut. I'd choose him over someone like you any day. At least with him, things are actually interesting."
"I don't agree with everything CB says," Rudolf added, her voice like ice, "but in this, she is correct. I will not tolerate slander directed at our trainer."
The senior trainer let out a sharp, ugly laugh. "Oh, look at you, Hikigaya. Hiding behind your girls? Can't even speak for yourself? You're pathetic—"
"I'd rather be 'pathetic' than an idiot who can't even keep his own contracts from getting canceled," I cut in.
The man's jaw dropped. "What did you say?!"
"Look, instead of picking fights with me, why don't you actually do your job? I've noticed you watching us for a while now, but if you don't use that time for something productive, it's just a waste of effort. If you have time to stand around and complain, go find a new partner. Though, looking at you now, I doubt any girl would want to aim for the top with a guy like you."
"You… you little brat…!"
"We're leaving for real this time," I said, reaching out and snatching the document back from his shaking hand. "And I'll be taking this. Don't want you wrinkling it any further."
What a disaster. Today was supposed to be a quiet day, but it turned into nothing but trouble.
And something told me my headaches were only just beginning.
Note:
Hello everyone!!
I want to send my warmest New Year wishes to all of you. May the new year bring you all your wishes, along with good health and countless joyful moments with your loved ones!
Holiday Announcement:
To rest and spend time with my family, I will be taking a Lunar New Year holiday from February 15th to February 22nd, 2026. I will officially return on February 23rd.
During my break, I will focus on translating more new chapters so that when the holiday ends, I can release chapters regularly for you all!
Thank you so much for your continued support.
Happy Lunar New Year!