The compass, after a night of restless spinning, finally settled on a bearing that led him away from the comforting glow of the mushrooms and towards what appeared to be a series of rolling hills. The Aethelgard Flora Guide mentioned several villages nestled in that area, and Soliam felt a pang of something akin to purpose – a quest beyond the solitary exploration. His inventory pinged, a new notification replacing the lingering glow of the completed "Glowing Grove" quest.
New Quest Received: The Goblin Problem
Objective: Investigate and resolve the goblin infestation plaguing Oakhaven Village.
Reward: Experience points (variable based on success), potential rewards from grateful villagers.
Warning: Goblins are notoriously unpredictable. Exercise caution. Do not underestimate their…enthusiasm.
Oakhaven Village turned out to be a charming cluster of thatched-roof cottages, surrounded by a surprisingly sturdy wooden palisade. The villagers, however, were less than charming. They greeted him with a cacophony of complaints and exaggerated gestures, their faces etched with a mixture of fear and exasperation. Apparently, a band of goblins had taken up residence in the nearby woods, making life rather unpleasant for the otherwise peaceful inhabitants.
"They're thieving, they're noisy, and they have a truly appalling habit of using our prize-winning pumpkins as…well, let's just say it involves projectile vomiting and a shocking disregard for sanitation," one particularly agitated woman, clutching a pitchfork, explained.
Soliam, ever the dutiful quest-taker, diligently recorded their complaints. The goblins' crimes ranged from petty theft (mostly stolen socks and oddly specific types of cheese) to acts of bizarre vandalism (painting the village elder's prize-winning pig bright purple). However, underlying their comedic grievances was a genuine fear. Several villagers had reported seeing larger, more menacing goblins, indicating the possibility of a more significant threat.
The system offered a helpful (and sarcastically worded) summary of the situation:
Goblin Infestation Status: Mildly annoying, potentially lethal.
Recommended Approach: Stealth, diplomacy, or overwhelming force. Your choice.
Soliam chose stealth. He'd seen enough fantasy films to know that frontal assaults against goblins rarely ended well, especially for those lacking adequate armor and weaponry. He spent the next few hours carefully tracking the goblins, following their surprisingly obvious trails – a trail of discarded socks, half-eaten cheese rinds, and a disconcerting amount of purple paint.
The goblins themselves were, as the system had suggested, a comical sight. They were small, squat creatures with oversized ears, crooked teeth, and a disturbing fondness for brightly colored clothing. They wore mismatched tunics, patched-up trousers, and hats that seemed to be selected purely for their absurdity. One goblin even had a tiny bucket on his head, which appeared to be filled with something suspiciously resembling mud.
Their tactics were equally haphazard. They'd attempt to steal things, then drop them and run away screaming at the sound of their own farts. Their attempts at intimidation consisted mostly of loud shouting and poorly executed threats. He observed one goblin trying to sneak into a hen house, only to trip over a rock and land face-first in a pile of chicken droppings. It was, in a word, hilarious, yet alarming. Their incompetence was a comedic distraction from their numbers and unpredictability.
Soliam employed his enhanced multi-tool to create a series of cleverly placed tripwires, utilizing the surrounding undergrowth to his advantage. He used his improved observational skills, honed from the "Glowing Grove" quest, to identify the goblins' weak points – a surprising aversion to loud noises (particularly the sound of bagpipes, a detail he'd learned from the Aethelgard Flora Guide), a seemingly irrational fear of squirrels (possibly a consequence of the squirrel whose plea he'd answered?), and an inexplicable fascination with shiny objects.
His strategy was to create a chaotic distraction, using the tripwires and a cleverly placed collection of shiny trinkets (mostly bottle caps, salvaged from his old office) to lure the goblins into a pre-determined area. The idea wasn't to kill them; it was to herd them away from the village. The system, after witnessing his elaborate, slightly ludicrous plan, commented:
"That's…actually pretty clever. For a novice adventurer. Don't let it go to your head."
The plan, to his surprise, worked flawlessly (or at least as flawlessly as one could expect from a plan involving goblins, tripwires, and shiny bottle caps). The goblins, initially amused by the shiny objects, were soon thrown into disarray by the strategically placed tripwires. Their shrieks of surprise and frustration were comical, yet strangely effective in driving them away from the village.
He used the sound of bagpipes (an app on his multi-tool) to amplify their confusion and fear, leading them in a carefully orchestrated stampede towards a dense thicket, far from Oakhaven Village.
The villagers, witnessing Soliam's bizarre, yet effective, goblin-herding technique, erupted in cheers and applause. They showered him with gifts – freshly baked bread, jars of oddly pungent cheese, and even a rather impressive collection of hand-knitted socks. The system updated his quest status:
Quest Completed: The Goblin Problem
Reward: 25 Experience Points, "Oakhaven Hero" title acquired, various gifts from grateful villagers.
Soliam, slightly bewildered by his sudden elevation to "Oakhaven Hero" status, smiled. He'd faced down goblins, not with brute force or magical prowess, but with cunning, a dash of absurdity, and a healthy dose of acquired knowledge. His adventure was proving to be far more engaging than his old office job, and the prospect of higher levels and more challenging quests filled him with a sense of excited anticipation. He packed his newfound treasures – the bread tasted surprisingly good, and the socks were surprisingly soft – and headed toward the mountain range, his compass leading him towards his next, unknown adventure. The system, in a rare display of something resembling warmth, simply stated: "Good job, Soliam. Now go get some sleep. You've earned it."