"Can you explain this…?" Eina Tulle asked, clutching a clipboard like it was both a holy relic and her last tether to sanity.
I perched cross-legged on the registration counter, sipping conjured peach blossom tea from a spirit-glass cup that floated politely beside me. Behind the desk, Guild employees were whispering like squirrels at a funeral, wide-eyed and shaken.
A few were holding broken fragments of what I now understood was the standard Falna scanner. It had, unfortunately, exploded the moment I touched it.
Well. It had tried to scan me. In its defense, it was only mortal-grade equipment.
"Explain what?" I replied calmly, adjusting my sleeves as a tiny golden fox spirit braided my hair midair.
Eina flipped the clipboard around, showing me the registration form. I blinked slowly at it, then took another sip of tea.
Name: Tsukihana Inariya Amateru no Kōzui no Yoru
Age: ???
Level: —
Familia: None
Race: …Fluff?
Bell, bless him, stood beside me trying very hard not to make eye contact with anyone. He was still recovering from watching me destroy a kobold in the Dungeon earlier — with a tea saucer. I'd told him it was an "express exorcism," but he'd looked faint.
"She's not in the system," Eina said, repeating herself for what must have been the fifth time. "We've tried everything. The orb, the stone, the emergency scroll. Even the intern tried poking her with a stick!"
"He did," I said, nodding. "He's in recovery."
Bell choked.
Eina inhaled through her nose like a woman on the verge. "The orb shattered, Miss Inariya."
"Clearly defective," I replied. "Was probably past warranty."
"It levitated," she hissed, "started singing in Ancient, and then burst into flames shaped like fox ears."
"Ah," I said. "So it was working properly."
Her eye twitched. "You don't have a level."
"Not a visible one," I corrected. "Your system can't comprehend my essence. I operate on a higher fluff-frequency."
"The paperwork doesn't have a checkbox for fluff-frequency!"
"That sounds like a failure of bureaucracy," I said serenely.
Before Eina could combust, the doors to the Guild flew open with a dramatic bang.
"BELL!!"
Bell froze.
I turned toward the incoming threat. Small. Loud. Twin blue ribbons. Very bouncy. Very angry.
"Ah," I said. "The child god arrives."
"Who are you calling a child?!" Hestia shouted, stomping forward. "You! Yes, YOU, Miss Regal Tail Swish—who do you think you are clinging to my Bell like some divine snack witch?!"
I raised a brow. "I haven't clung to anyone. I merely stood near him while majestic."
"He's mine!"
"I'm not a suitor," I said. "I'm a sovereign."
"That's what they all say!" she shrieked.
Bell shrank between us like a sandwich being crushed by divine pressure. He still held my embroidered twin-katana bag — a gift from the Spirit Seamstress — which probably wasn't helping his case.
"She gave me the bag to hold," he explained, voice cracking.
"It floats on its own!" Hestia snapped.
"It has emotional weight," he whispered, eyes wide.
I sipped my tea. "Thank you, Bell. Very respectful."
Eventually, Eina forcibly intervened by inserting herself between Hestia and I with the quiet intensity of someone determined to avoid divine warfare before lunch.
"I—am just going to file her as a 'special case,'" she muttered. "System Error. Manual override. Temporary non-affiliate clearance."
"I like that," I said. "System Error. Very punk. Put it on a shirt."
Hestia still looked like she wanted to bite me. "You can't just walk into Orario, blow up the Guild, and claim royal status!"
"I didn't claim anything," I replied smoothly. "I brought it with me."
The Guild's break room later needed emotional counseling.
One receptionist fainted. Another proposed. Bell carried my sword bag out like a squire possessed.
And we left the Guild that day with three new titles:
System Error — (Official designation)Orb Breaker — (What the employees started whispering when I walked past)Her Fluffiness — (Bell's accidental slip, now immortalized in legend)
The sun was setting over Orario, painting the streets in gold and pink.
We walked together — me floating slightly above the cobblestones, Bell trudging beside me with his mind clearly reeling.
"You didn't have to, uh… insult the goddess," he said gently.
"Which one?"
"Hestia-sama."
I sipped from my teacup. "You mean the tiny one with the emotional regulation of a squeaky toy?"
"She's still a goddess."
"She's lucky I didn't rate her on divinity scale. Wouldn't pass."
Bell grimaced. "That's harsh."
I side-eyed him. "Bell, I once bested a dragon in a haiku contest. I've earned my sass."
He didn't respond right away. We walked in silence for a bit, passing shops and food stalls as the night deepened.
Then, finally, he asked the real question.
"How are you so strong without a Falna?"
I stopped. Turned to look at him.
He looked genuinely curious — not afraid. Not greedy. Just a sweet, awkward boy trying to understand a walking paradox.
So I told him the truth.
"I am not of this world. I came from the Spirit Realm — a place above even the divine. My power is not granted by gods. It is woven into the threads of reality. I am the system error."
"…Oh."
A pause.
"Does that mean you can't level up?"
"I don't need to."
"But… you could be stronger."
I smiled at him, genuinely.
"You're adorable."
He flushed. "I—sorry—I didn't mean to—"
"I didn't say it was a bad thing."
That night, Hestia invited me — begrudgingly — to stay in their home.
She insisted it was only to "keep an eye on me," but I noticed she set out fresh bedding, cleared the altar space, and made enough food for three.
I accepted, of course. Royalty doesn't turn down free dumplings.
Later, when Bell was asleep, Hestia confronted me on the rooftop.
"You're not just some wandering noble, are you?" she asked quietly.
"No."
"You're not even mortal."
"Not really."
"Then why are you here?"
I looked up at the stars, tails flicking in the wind.
"Because something's wrong with the Dungeon," I said finally. "Something it's hiding. And something it's afraid of."
"…And you're here to stop it?"
"No," I said, eyes glowing faintly. "I'm here to see if it's worthy of surviving."
She didn't answer. Just stared at me like she wasn't sure whether to fear me… or follow me.
That night, deep beneath the Dungeon's lower floors, something stirred.
A crack in the wall that hadn't been there before.
A pulse of energy that didn't belong.
And in the dark… something ancient opened its eyes.