Twelve full moons since i stepped out of that condo in Korea and vanished into the quiet chaos of coming home.
They say time heals, right? But no one tells you what it actually does.
It doesn't wipe things clean, it just teaches you how to breathe through the ache, how to smile without breaking down, how to walk into a room and pretend your heart isn't carrying a name it still whispers in the dark.
Sebastian Blair Gutierrez.
The name i no longer said out loud, but one that still lived inside me.
He became even bigger.
A global icon turned legend.
Billboard covers, Vogue Korea features, a solo album that broke global records.
Everywhere i looked, Seoul, Paris, New York, there he was, wearing the same face i memorized, but colder now.
Hollow eyes.
A kind of beauty that hurts.
And me?
I was finally loved again.
The Philippines took me back like i never left, like i wasn't once the most hated woman on the internet.
My comeback film Together, We Fight Back shattered every local record. 900 million pesos in ticket sales.
Best Actress in Asia.
Applause.
Headlines.
Apologies from the same reporters who once begged to tear me down.
Dustin Wang, the same Dustin who stood by me during the mess, played the male lead. I owe him more than people know.
His presence reminded me that loyalty still exists, that not every man would leave when the lights go out.
Still, none of it filled the space he left behind.
Not the flowers.
Not the flashing cameras.
Not the gold that glittered in every trophy they handed me.
And then… just when i thought life had moved on—
We trended.
Out of nowhere.
Without warning.
A tweet.
A fan thread.
A curious TikTok edit.
"Wait, was this Margaux Serene Imperial?"
It started small.
A blurred photo from last year.
That shot of Sebastian walking in the park—his smile soft, eyes turned toward someone just out of frame.
And then they noticed the hands.
The silhouette.
The hoodie.
They noticed… me.
I sat there on my living room floor, frozen, my phone lighting up faster than i could blink.
#SebgauxBackThen
#TheGirlHeOnceLoved
#GlobalIconAndThePreciousActress
It spiraled.
Tens of millions of views.
Old clips resurfaced.
Edits made from stolen glances and blurred reflections.
People connected the dots like they were solving a mystery, and suddenly the heartbreak i buried became public property.
But this time… it was different.
They weren't angry.
They were hurting, for us.
"Why didn't they fight for each other?"
"I feel like i'm watching a tragic movie."
"They look like they still love each other."
"If this is real… then let them be."
I didn't know how to feel.
My hands were shaking as i scrolled.
Some comments made me cry.
Others made me want to scream.
But the worst part?
I had no idea if Sebastian had seen it.
And if he did… would he even care?
Would he just scoff and scroll past, or would he remember the night i told him it was all just boredom? That i never meant any of it? The lies i spit out just so he would let go?
God.
I felt sick just remembering how he looked at me that day.
The door to my condo clicked open.
I didn't realize i'd been holding my breath until my assistant, Alayssa, walked in, holding two coffee cups and her iPad tucked under her arm.
"Hey. You're trending again."
I didn't even respond. I just nodded and reached for the coffee.
She sat down beside me, gently placing her hand over mine.
"You okay?"
"Define okay," I whispered.
My voice cracked.
She studied my face. "Do you… want to release a statement?"
I shook my head instantly.
"No. No statements.
No clarifications.
No damage control." I exhaled hard. "Let them wonder."
She gave me a long look. "You still love him."
It wasn't a question.
I didn't answer.
I didn't need to.
Because every night, I still dreamed of that boy who looked at me like i was his world.
Every morning, I woke up hoping it was all just a nightmare.
That i hadn't broken the one good thing i ever had.
The worst kind of grief is the one you cause yourself.
-
I curled into the couch, knees to my chest, blanket wrapped tight around me.
I tried watching a rom-com, hoping it'd distract me, but halfway through i muted the volume and stared at the paused screen.
A scene played in my head instead.
"You didn't mean it?"
"No. It was fun. That's it. You were just
something to do while I was bored in Korea."
That version of me, cold, cruel, rehearsed, felt like a stranger now.
I hurt him to save him.
But did i really save anyone?
Or did i just destroy the only real love i've ever known?
-
Three days passed.
I went back to work, shot a commercial, smiled for the cameras.
People were talking about my next project.
Dustin messaged, asking if i was okay. He saw the trending hashtags too.
I told him i was fine.
That was a lie.
And then… one night, as i stood by my window, phone pressed to my chest, i saw it
.
A breaking article.
From his management.
"SOLSTICE's Sebastian Blair Gutierrez Seen Crying Backstage After Concert in Tokyo."
There were photos.
Grainy, taken from far away.
His head bowed, hair covering his eyes, staff huddled around him and something about it, something about how broken he looked,
My chest tightened.
Because i knew that posture.
That was the same way he stood the day i left him in the rain.
I pressed a hand to my lips.
God, what have i done?
-
Another week passed.
Istarted getting invitations to variety shows, international campaigns.
My manager said i was being considered for another historical drama. "You're the country's darling again," he said.
I smiled.
But it didn't reach my eyes.
And then… that day came.
An unplanned event.
A charity gala for Southeast Asian artists held at the Grand Hyatt.
I was just supposed to present an award.
I didn't even know who else was attending.
Until i walked into the ballroom and froze.
Because across the room, wearing an all-black suit, eyes stormy and unreadable
Was him.
Sebastian.
He was standing with his management team.
Cameras were flashing.
Journalists swarming.
But somehow, in that crowd, our eyes met like magnets.
Time didn't slow down.
It stopped.
And for a second, I forgot how to breathe.
He didn't smile.
He didn't frown.
His expression was unreadable.
Cold. But his gaze… it lingered.
I quickly looked away.
I shouldn't be here.
I should've said no.
But i couldn't leave.
Not when we were both scheduled to present on stage later.
The universe really had a dark sense of humor.
When the program started, I stood under the blinding lights with trembling hands.
I tried to focus on the cue cards, on the applause, on anything that would keep my eyes from wandering.
But when i turned slightly to my right… I saw him again.
Standing tall.
Microphone in hand.
Just inches away.
His voice was steady.
Professional.
Flawless.
But when he turned to me to introduce the next award, I caught it.
The briefest flicker.
A twitch of his jaw.
A blink that lasted too long.
Something cracked in me.
And when i gave my speech, thanking the industry, my team, the fans, I felt it.
His eyes on me.
Unmoving.
Unforgiving.
The gala ended.
We didn't speak.
We didn't wave.
We didn't even pretend.
But that night, I cried.
Silently.
Alone.
Because maybe the world was ready to accept us now.
But maybe he wasn't.
And i couldn't blame him.
Not after everything i said.
Not after the way i shattered us.
They call us icons now.
The Global Idol.
The Precious Actress.
But what's the point of being loved by the world if you can't be with the person you love the most?
I stared at my phone long after midnight.
Our old photos were still buried in my hidden album.
I never deleted them.
I couldn't.
Because somewhere, deep in the folds of my heart, I still held onto that one impossible hope:
That maybe… one day…
He might forgive me.