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Chapter 7 - GOOD ENOUGH

..... Rushing down the halls ,I made a swift shortcut to the tracks, there I saw Meliana still doing stretches

Oh my I didn't stay to complete the the lesson

On seeing her detestable face, I wanted nothing more than to drop kick her, but on reaching her , I fell to my knees, huffing and panting

Seems I've forgotten how badly I was with excercises

Ugh, curse this girl

Meliana on seeing my weary expression, crouched and smirked, poking my sweat strained face, moving the hairstrands glued to my face to the side

Physically cringing at the contact, I stood handing her the files, Come let's continue the tour

With a raised brow , she stood, why do you care, minutes ago you didn't , Sighing and turning to face her, I spoke my voice clearly entoned with indifference

Is that why you left class while a lesson was still ongoing

I don't how you do things where you're from but whatever you're going to do in your stay here just do it when I'm not involved with you, Turning to leave since she clearly showed no interest

She called me back, I.. I'm sorry, I apologise miss bossy pants, looking back at her with a bored expression,I collected the files from her hands, I still needed them anyway

Then giving her a side glance, Come along then and if I was really bossy , I would've made you crawl as an apology

Quickly trailing behind, she chuckled, following me as we left the field, taking her back to her first class, which was now empty as everyone has dispersed for break,

Here, this was your first class, microbiology, why did you ditch it?

Dropping the forceps, she turned to me with a raised brow, ditched?

Confused I responded, yeah, ditched

Chuckling at my confusion, she walked towards the desk I sat at, I didn't ditch the class, I took permission from the miss, who was teaching, had to go out on time to explore the tracks and my entire body cramped,

On realizing, I stood up, well let's get this tour over with then , The library's next , heading down the halls to the library,I brought the library card and showed it to the teacher , granting me entrance

Meliana watching the transcience in awe, turned to me enthusiastically, how did you do that, did the school just hand it over

Hushing her, I had to remind her that we were still in a library

Taking her to the paternoster , we dived deeper into the lower lobby, which was a secluded area in the library, looking around excitedly, she tried reaching for in a book on a shelf, clearly enticed by the cover, raising herself on her tip toes to take the book, but doing nothing but grazing the sides

Looking at her tiring attempt with folded arms, I couldn't help rolling my eyes at her exasperating attempt, walking behind the shelf, I slid the mechanical ladder to the area where the book was

Moving back, she gave me space as I climbed up a collecting the book and stepping down, on reaching down, I adjusted my gown and placed the book against her chest

Looking at me, with a stunned expression, she took the book, her fingers brushing against mine, as she stuttered

T.. thanks, you know you could've just left it ,

Still adjusting my gown , I raised my head up to face her, you looked laughable ,it was almost cute

Cute?, She laughed, the book still pressed against her chest, you're right I'm cute

Ugh, this girl, rolling my eyes I stood up straight and walked out the library as she sauntered behind me, leading her to the third hall, I breathed a sigh of relief as I understood this tour was soon coming to an end

Leading her to student Union Hall, submitting my card as I entered

You have a lot of cards, she muttered

.. well yeah, I work hard for them

This will be our last stop in our tour, it's where most students requests are taken into action, by the student council

Looking at me she asked, are you a part of the Union

With a hand to my jaw, I replied her, why yes, I'm the student council president

Chuckling she patted my shoulder, I ask dumb questions, don't I

Moving away from her touch ,I showed her directions to her final class for the day, we wasted so much time and she actually wasn't so bad, turning around as she was about to leave, she said, I'll be sure to whoop your ass in the next examination

And hold on to that position for as long as you can

With a groan, I rolled my eyes and called out, remember to return the book , slowly she turned back and ran off

She just reminded me why I loathed her, but her determination is actually quite laudable

Walking towards my class,my thoughts filled with questions, why had the students voted me as the student president, if I was clearly one of the most hated, strapping my bag , I walked out of the class

-A/N , you may see some forms of self harm in the next scene, it's not real, just character development, but it happens in real life though

Is this one of the things that are all in my head, no ideas came in, nothing but that inept feeling, dragging my feet as I walked the halls, for some reason, I didn't want to go home, at least not now, but I have a curfew

Leaving the school premises, I walked back home, suddenly the sky started cracking, as if guessing this was a bad moment, the rain started to downpour ,

Taking shelter in a nearby bus stop, I sat and patted the water drops from my bag, panicking as the water, soaked some of my books

Soon the drizzle stopped , making the sky darken, making my way back home, I unbolted the gates and walked in my , ignoring the quiet atmosphere welcoming me, I walked into my room, setting my bag down , removing everything that might've been made wet by the rain

My working hands, stopping at the files, almost forgot I brought this with me, hiding it under the wardrobe cabinet, I felt relieved, taking off my school clothes and getting dressed for bed, but yet, no voice has been heard yet

Walking out to the sitting room, I was greeted with the same uneasy quietness

The darkned isolation, hmm... Taking the cold pasta from the refrigerator I warmed it gnawing at the texture, after eating I made , my way to bed still, confused as to why they haven't arrived yet

Where are they all, sitting in my room, admist the quietness, the uneasiness heightened,

gently biting my nail as my feet continued stomping the floor, where are they, it's late, walking back to the sitting room,and gathering up courage , I picked up the family line 😏, and called my mother , after a few tries , she finally picked up

Now, scraping my skin as i talked, I hushed my tone, mother, where might you be

From the other line, she spoke quite dismissively, we went to the function , it's the day coming ,we figured we might as well arrive early, it's common courtesy, something you'd expect some people to know

Oh, might this year be the year, I'll be able represent, I said my heart strings tugging to some hope

from the other line, she hissed

No we're taking your sister instead

Huh

I paused, the scraping, the stomping, the quickned heartbeats, the quiet uneasiness, everything, paused

My sister?, Yes your sister, she said and hung up

Dropping the phone, I bit my lips tightly, my legs thumping steadily, roughly

My sister,my sister I said continuously as my fingers continued scraping my skin

They...they took her, instead of M E

, Panting , My eyes started welling up, flipping the table over, Ahh , I screamed, I took a pen from the floor and pressed it deeply against the back of my palm as I bit my lips dearly

No, I wasn't going to cry, it was possibly for the best,

Best for what!! ,clenching my fists, my body thudded against the floor, my knees, hitting the ground

a..am I not good enough, AM I?!

of course i knew the date of the function, I've waited for it, begged for it, the day, I'd be good enough to be showed off, proudly

Clearly I've never been good enough, a defect could never be the original, wiping a tear before it flowed down, I picked up the pen and jabbed my arm repeatedly

My knees still poised against the floor, I yelled WOULD I EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH! am I good enough, I just want someone to love me, why me, why not me

Walking to my room, bashing my head against the wall, hitting my fists against the wall, hoping it would hush down my emotions, hitting until my head grew numb and my feet grew weak

Crouching against the wall, whimpering and still biting my lips, throwing my arms around myself, holding myself tightly

A cold voice murmured against me, you'll never be good enough, just accept it, for the first time I felt comforts in those words, in those voices, so I clung on to it

Still in my room with a bleeding arm and swollen knuckles, a table thrown over, still crouched against the cold floor, panting softly, my unclad feet , shivering against the cold, finally I understood something

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