So. Let me get this straight.
I died from a banana peel. Got reincarnated as a farmer.
Now I own a plot of land, a weird RPG stat screen…
…and a coop full of chickens that could solo a dungeon boss.
Not exactly the peaceful countryside I asked for.
But hey, I'm alive. My house doesn't look like it's falling apart. There's a bed, some tools, a crop patch, and a coop full of battle-hardened poultry.
Fine. Whatever. I can make this work.
I decided to name the chickens.
The roundhouse kick one? That's Eggward.
The bulky one with a scar over one eye? Cluckles.
And the quiet one that stares like it knows too much? Featherstein.
Anyway, day one started off okay. I picked up a hoe (the farming kind, calm down), and started clearing weeds from the field. The stat screen popped up again.
+2 EXP (Weed Destroyed)
Skill Gained: Basic Farming
You feel slightly competent.
Wow. Thanks, game.
Just when I was starting to feel like a real farmer, I heard something.
Voices.
I peeked over the fence and saw two guys walking toward the farm. Swords on their backs. Matching ugly green cloaks. They looked like low-level bandits from a mobile game ad.
One of them pointed at the coop.
"Told ya this was the EXP farm. Look at those chickens!"
The other grinned.
"We snatch a few of 'em, kill the farmer, and level up easy."
...Excuse me??
I backed up, ready to run for my life, when I heard something behind me.
Cluckles stepped out of the coop.
Featherstein followed.
Then Eggward.
No sounds. No clucking. Just slow, intimidating chicken struts.
The bandits climbed over the fence.
"Look at this idiot farmer. He's just standing there with his jaw open."
I was trying to warn them.
I swear I was. I opened my mouth to say, "You don't wanna do this," but then—
BAM.
Cluckles launched like a feathery rocket and headbutted one of them in the chest so hard he flew backward into a tree.
CRACK.
Unconscious.
The second guy screamed and pulled out his sword—
only for Featherstein to flap up, grab it mid-air, and snap it in half with his beak.
Then Eggward jumped.
A blur of feathers and fury.
Spinning mid-air. Glowing.
I blinked.
The guy was already face-down in the dirt.
A new screen popped up.
[Your livestock have defeated: Bandit x2]
+120 EXP shared
Passive Skill Gained: Intimidating Aura (Chickens Only)
What the actual hell?
I just stood there as the chickens slowly walked back to the coop like nothing happened. Eggward paused, turned his head toward me, and gave a single nod before hopping inside.
Did my chicken just acknowledge me?
Later that night, I sat on my porch drinking mystery berry juice and staring at the sky.
"I just wanted to grow potatoes," I muttered.
One of the chickens clucked softly behind me.
Yeah. Me too, buddy.
[END OF CHAPTER 2]