See... if i Don't talk to her, Not even the bare minimum conversation is possible.
That's how our 2 months would have been if i'd just kept my mouth shut and known my place.
I didn't, I was delusional.
I sure like being delusional though. That's probably the only reason i dream about her being my girlfriend on a daily basis.
In reality... She doesn't even care that I'm not talking to her. Honestly, Why would she?
Her standards and that guy and i... am just a sprry excuse of a man.
That's Why... I'll change.
I Honestly don't need self confidence in the matter of looks but i do need to make something out of my life.
That's why I've been concentrating hard on classes.
I haven't talked to her at all. Made me realise that It was always a 1 way street.
I'd glance at her once in a while and many a times I'd see her glance at him and get very jealous of the girl next to him.
It was break time and... They all weren't getting together anymore.
It was just Alexia and Alie getting together.
After the rejection these two have been left together while the normal and the populars have been together.
Ofcourse the Blue haired Emily Wasn't in the handsome men faction.
She was with Alexia & Alie.
They'd go to the cafateria seperately together and have lunch and come back.
My group was the same 3, It appears that Thomas was getting closer to Alie but it was very platonic.
"Haa... after all these years, she finally decides to talk to me again? Obviously she's trying to make that Max jealous. That's all I'll ever amount to her."
"Forget it man... What's the point, it honestly feels like we are just extras of some shojo manga."
I claimed, i myself was dejected.
I'd thought she'd atleast say 1 word, ask for something.
Now it feels like she doesn't even realise we were seat mates for 2 months.
After all the talking i did, even though i was hella embarrassed... Ended up amounting to nothing.
"Look at this guy... stating the obvious... What did you think, We were in that popular and unpopular troupe? Women will never like losers like us, I was stupid... But mine was a childhood thing. What possessed you to fall in love with that WOMEN, Man?"
"It... just happened. Even I'm not sure why, If i'd known i'd have fallen for her... I'd have atleast resorted to intense self deprication to avoid falling in love with her. You think i Don't know my place? Don't be stupid."
"I kinda get you... If i'd known she was this popular back in Middle school... I'd have probably given up a long time ago."
This bitch... Acting like it wasn't easy to give up when moments ago he was staring at another women.
"What was that, with the other women?"
It was frey who aksed that
"Aah that... I was trying to switch my interest to someone else, and before it'd get too deep i'd cut it off there. Like pushing a virus from my heart to my hand and than cutting it off so the virus doesn't come back to my heart. In the end, the teacher just had to send me back to her."
So... even after 4 years of liking a women you... couldn't give up haa? Had to resort to something like that?
Will... i be able to give up.
"You both sure are hopeless... falling in love? Can you even afford that? Both your parents are from poor families, And the people you like are from very rich families, If they knew that... they'd probably snap."
"" You think we don't know?""
We siad at the same time. and than i added.
"You are also from a poor family so why are you lecturing us?"
"Hey... isn't that why i Don't fall in live? I Don't wanna suffer unrequited love like you two fools. I'm not stupid enough to fall in love knowing i cannot afford it."
As we conversed our stupid loser topics, we as always would be the first to arrive into the class.
"Why'd you do that?"
"..."
But, today... there were people already present...
"You know, you like him."
I felt a sting in my heart when alie said that to Alexia. Man... just how delusional am i to get hurt by that even after i knew the truth?
aah... I'd hoped it weren't true, I'd hoped she was actually looking at me and not at him.
I really am... a damned loser.
"What about you?"
"Huh?"
"Don't you like him too? Why'd you come with me, and not go with him?"
"... What's the point? He doesn't even like me. I didn't wanna lose you for something unrequited."
Haha... It really is like a shojo manga, sadly we are just the background characters, The losers in love with those At the top.
Whatever the case... our, standards sure are over the top for a bunch of losers.
*Sigh*
*Sigh*
*Sigh*
Wasn't there an extra sigh?
"Why did you sigh?"
"Huh?? Well... no reason."
This bastard... even after saying he doesn't like anyone... so, he's got a crush on the blue haired Emily does he?
*Sigh*
"Let's just go back."
"Man... i Don't want people to look at me as i walk into the class when i get late."
"Haha"
We all laughed at that, albet slowly because we didn't want them to be aware of us eavesdropping on their conversation.
We slowly walked back as i saw myself chuckling again.
I really like the same person the most handsome dude in the academy likes.
...
"I'll go out with you."
"What?"
"I said I'll go out with you."
*Smack*
"Aah... Fuc-"
"Sleeping in the middle of class now i see? Go stand outside for the rest of the day."
What a fucked up dream...
Is what she'd probably say, if she had a dream like that.
I'm out here, feeling butterflies in my heart over a damn dream...