Ren Hoshino didn't expect things to unfold like this.
Of course a girl this lazy—someone who dozes all day—would never lift a finger to cook.
Way too lazy.
He was really hungry, though. And maybe she wasn't, but the smell definitely got to her.
"Almost done," Ren said while flipping the pan. "Sit tight."
"Mm."
Sleepy Mita sat down at the dining table, head bowed, barely awake.
By the time Ren finished the dishes and served them, he realized:
Sleepy Mita had already nodded off again.
"Mita, get up. Eat."
"Mm!"
She blinked up at him, dazed but trying. "Thanks… Could you pass the cutlery?"
He handed her the knife and fork while he picked up his own chopsticks.
Ren ate at a relaxed pace, not too fast, not too slow. When he'd nearly finished—
Bang!
A dull thump echoed across the table.
Sleepy Mita had passed out mid-bite.
Ren stared at her, unamused. "You're amazing."
"You can fall asleep while eating?"
He walked over and shook her gently. "C'mon. Finish first, then sleep."
She peeked one eye open. "Oops… sorry."
She clumsily resumed eating with her utensils. After a moment:
"All done. Thanks…" she murmured—and promptly face-planted again.
Ren sighed. He collected the dishes, washed them, and rinsed up himself too.
When he came back, he found her still snoozing at the table.
"You're going to catch a cold like that," Ren muttered. "C'mon."
"Mmph… okay…"
But she was already drifting off again.
Ren was now feeling more like a babysitter than a player.
He gently took her hand and led her toward the bed before she could collapse again.
The second her body hit the mattress, she curled into a ball like a sleepy bird returning to its nest.
Ren looked at her peaceful expression and shook his head.
He took out his phone, pointed it, and clicked:
Snap.
A photo of Sleepy Mita. A rare moment of peace.
"There's no way Crazy Mita can come here," he whispered.
This place really was a safehouse.
Unlike before—when she caught him, dragged him offline, nearly broke him—this version of Mita wouldn't lift a finger.
Ren turned on Sleepy Mita's PC and logged into the MiSide network forums.
He uploaded the photo with a short caption:
"Met Sleepy Mita. Gonna rest here for a while."
Replies flooded in instantly.
"Good opportunity!"
"Sleepy Mita! {Pervert Face}"
"This guy's a beast. An absolute monster."
"No, I'm sorry. That's just… human nature."
"Brother Machine Gun… you are the spirit of our generation."
"Still praying for a Crazy Mita to chainsaw this guy into behaving."
"Where do I find a girl like this?"
Ren couldn't help but laugh. He scrolled through the replies—until one caught his eye.
It wasn't just another comment.
It was her.
"Honey, so you're hiding here. Come out.
You can't cheat on me. I'll be sad… and jealous."
"…Crazy Mita," Ren muttered, smiling bitterly.
The Digital Yandere had found him again.
He sent a reply.
A photo he'd just taken—of Sleepy Mita, fast asleep at the table, food halfway to her mouth.
No immediate response. Just more people laughing and reacting.
"As expected of Sleepy Mita. Out like a light."
"Wonder if she'd fall asleep mid-kiss. Hehe."
Then:
"You always make me mad."
"Why can't you just listen?"
"Isn't it enough to have me alone?"
Ren smirked.
"You coming over?"
…No answer.
He leaned back, satisfied.
Let her sulk.
Let her stew in it.
He felt good.
For once, the tables had turned.
Ren leaned over the computer desk and rested his head.
Sleep crept in fast.
The room dimmed. All was peaceful.
…until a warm hand gently nudged his head.
Ren blinked awake.
Sleepy Mita stood over him, her eyes half-lidded.
"I haven't had cake in a long time…"
"Can you make one?"
He stretched, yawning.
"Alright, alright. I'll make you one."
After all, he was staying under her roof.
And judging from how lazy she was, she'd probably pass out just cracking an egg.
Better he do it himself.
An hour later, a small, palm-sized sponge cake was cooling on a plate.
Ren brought it into the bedroom and placed it beside her.
"Mita. Wake up. I made cake."
No response.
He cut a small piece and held it near her mouth.
Gone in one bite.
"Tasty," she murmured. "More."
Ren fed her bite after bite.
She barely opened her eyes.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Then she looked at him.
"You're sleepy too."
"Yeah," he said. "A little."
"Come sleep with me."
"My bed's a double."
"To repay you," she added, eyes barely open, "for the cake."
She grabbed his wrist and tugged.
Before he could resist, she pulled him down onto the bed with surprising strength.
Even half-asleep, she could've tossed him like a ragdoll.
"You sleep here. I'll sleep there…"
"Mmm… Good night, Ren."