Being a transfer student at Kuoh Academy was like being handed a live grenade and told, "Don't worry, it's just a friendship simulation."
Spoiler: It wasn't.
I had 115 SP, a growing reputation as the human embodiment of bad decisions, and Rias Gremory's inner circle officially side-eyeing me like I was a plot twist they hadn't signed off on. Akeno had that usual polite smile, the kind that said, "You're interesting enough to watch, maybe electrocute later." Meanwhile, Kiba looked like he was trying to figure out if I was a threat, a joke, or just allergic to plot coherence.
And now?
SYSTEM UNLOCKED: SHOP – Tier I
[Available for Purchase:]
– Charm Booster Gum – 15 SP
– Affection Scan Upgrade – 40 SP
– Lewdcrafting Module (Beta) – 100 SP
– Random Skill – 150 SP
I stared at that last item.
Random Skill, huh?
Could be teleportation. Could be the power to make milk curdle with eye contact. Honestly, with this system's track record, I was bracing for "Breathe underwater, but only in carbonated drinks."
SP: 115
I needed 35 more. And the System, like the glorious enabler it was, served up a neat little menu of mischief.
New Side Quests Available
– Make a teacher say, "Please leave." – 15 SP
– Cause public confusion in homeroom – 20 SP
– Provoke a disciplinary notice – 25 SP
– Trigger a tsundere moment – 30 SP
– Leave someone speechless – 10 SP
Chaos-flavored options, served hot. Like a villainous Happy Meal.
I selected three.
Time to earn my chaos badge.
Mission 1: Confuse Homeroom Like a Legend
The moment the teacher walked in and started roll call, I raised my hand with peak model student enthusiasm.
He paused mid-sentence. "Yes, Walsh?"
I stood. "Sorry, is this Biology class?"
He blinked. "...Yes?"
"Cool. Just making sure I was studying the right species."
I sat back down casually. The room went dead quiet. One guy leaned toward his friend like I'd just confirmed aliens were real. Someone choked on a pencil. My neighbor shifted his desk a few inches away from mine.
Mission Complete: +20 SP
SP: 135
Mission 2: Leave a Teacher Speechless
Later in History class, as our teacher was explaining human wars throughout the centuries, I raised my hand again.
"Is this the part," I said, "where you explain how devils rewrote human civilization through pyramid schemes?"
The silence was surgical. You could hear neurons short-circuiting.
The teacher opened his mouth.
Then slowly closed it.
Mission Complete: +10 SP
SP: 145
I almost saluted.
Mission 3: Trigger a Tsundere Moment
After class, I spotted Koneko at the vending machine. Alone. Dangerous terrain.
Still, fortune favors the dramatic.
I casually strolled up next to her and glanced at the snack she picked—some absurdly sugar-heavy treat.
"You know," I said, "for someone your size, you snack like you're preparing for a second life."
Her eyes narrowed.
"I'll bury you," she said, voice completely flat.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was a tsundere moment.
Quest Complete: +30 SP
SP: 175
I didn't even run. I just bowed slightly and walked off like I had just delivered sacred wisdom to a tiny, murderous monk.
SHOP ACCESS GRANTED
Purchase: [Random Skill – 150 SP]?
Confirmed.
Let the gacha gods decide whether I became a legend… or lactose-intolerant.
Acquired Skill: Regeneration (C+)
Description:
You can now passively regenerate light injuries and regrow one lost finger. Further upgrades required for greater recovery.
Great. Just what I needed in a world of holy swords and fallen angels. A regeneration cap at "manual labor accidents."
Still.
New Passive Unlocked:
– Minor Wounds Auto-Heal: Paper cuts, bruises, and anime slaps now resolve in minutes.
– Pain Resistance +10%
Remaining SP: 25
"Not flashy," I muttered, flexing my fingers. "But probably the difference between me and a tragic backstory arc."
Hidden Bonus Triggered!
Title Gained:Gacha Survivor
+5% Luck when drawing future random skills or titles
I didn't survive the spin. I conquered it.
I stepped into the school courtyard as the final bell rang, a low buzz of something new thrumming beneath my skin.
No angel wings. No sacred gear. No explosions.
But it was real. Tangible.
Like the universe was starting to lean in and go: "Wait… who the hell is this guy?"
Across the quad, I spotted Kiba.
He blinked.
I didn't.
He looked away first.
Small victories.
Let the chaos compound. I was just getting warmed up.