Chapter 76: Crying
I knew it. This situation isn't suited for me to be up there.
Yoshikage Kira sighed. After thinking about it, he decided not to go up, instead just standing behind a crowd of reporters who were manically photographing the awards podium, leaning against the wall of the temporary passageway.
Kira stood in the tunnel, at the crossroads of darkness and light, listening to All Might's inspiring speech. He was suddenly reminded of the abnormality he had felt earlier that afternoon.
During the battle with Todoroki, Kira had felt as if his mind was being controlled. He couldn't think about anything other than how to fight. His entire mind was focused on how to achieve the greatest victory with the least amount of sacrifice.
It was a feeling as cold as a battle machine.
Moreover, that line of thought had been constantly tempting him, telling him to use Killer Queen. Fortunately, Kira had managed to hold onto one last shred of his emotions, refusing to let the line he had drawn in his own mind snap.
After the fight had ended, Kira had briefly regained his sanity. After hurriedly having Ryanne check him over, he had immediately left the stadium and gone to the now-completely-empty ruins of the combat training field.
This area had no surveillance cameras. It was where Kira would usually come to secretly let Sheer Heart Attack out, allowing it to rampage and satisfy its need for explosions before recalling it.
But Kira had come here this time to calm his own heart, to try and expel the emotion that did not belong to him. Just like the lingering obsession of Yoshikage Kira (the original) that had plagued him for so long, this cold emotion was also temporarily suppressed by his Hamon.
Hamon, also known as the Ripple, could help Kira maintain his inner peace. If it didn't exist, Kira—whose only other Quirk was Killer Queen—feared he would have become a serial killer long ago.
To restrain something, one must first confront it. This was also true for this strange emotion inside him.
Normally, Kira would return home and suppress his other urge in his room full of figurines. Each time, one or two "hands" would be destroyed. In other words, the figurines were a necessary component for Kira's "spell."
This was also the reason why Kira had to constantly spend money to buy new silicone dolls online.
But as for this new, cold emotion, Kira couldn't figure out its cause. The next match was about to begin, and he didn't have time to think about it. He could only use his usual methods to deal with it.
Luckily, it seemed that Hamon was the natural enemy of this emotion. It offered no resistance, and Kira was able to easily eliminate it, leaving only the faintest trace behind. But that last little bit... he couldn't get rid of it.
Kira knew that with something like an emotion, as long as a little bit of it existed, it could instantly multiply in the right soil, taking over his entire mind and turning him into a beast driven by that feeling.
Kira was just a normal (if somewhat lazy) person. He had normal emotions: likes, dislikes, sadness, happiness. Even if he didn't show them, they were very important to him. But that machine-like mode, which ignored everything else, had made Kira's mind clearer than it had ever been. It was as if he had entered an accelerated mode, able to perform hundreds of seconds worth of calculations in an instant, allowing him to easily come up with several methods to defeat an opponent who had seemed so troublesome—Shoto Todoroki.
This feeling terrified Kira, but at the same time, a part of him longed for it.
Kira couldn't eliminate that part of himself. All he could do was store this abnormal emotion in a corner of his mind, surround it with Hamon to prevent it from growing, and hope that it would never be released.
He had thought that once he had dealt with this emotion, everything would be fine. But he had been shocked to discover that, at some point, the other desire—that is, the "obsession of Killer Queen"—had grown to a point where it could no longer be ignored.
I really want to blow something up!
The thought had exploded in Kira's mind, but he had no time to deal with it. He could only hurry back to the stadium, hoping that he could temporarily suppress this urge, at least until he got home.
After returning to the stadium, he had been called away again by Mr. Aizawa, who once again instructed him to take the match seriously and use his full strength.
Kira had agreed on the surface, but he had laughed bitterly on the inside. Right now, I can barely save myself.
And then came the fight with Bakugo. Kira was preoccupied, and after eliminating the "abnormal emotion," he was unable to meet Bakugo's expectations of his strength, barely managing to block his attacks.
Even as he was suppressing the obsession in his heart, in one of his clashes with Bakugo, he had let his guard down for just an instant and had turned Bakugo into a human bomb.
Fortunately, Killer Queen's derivative attack—turning anything it touched into a bomb—was just a conceptual form. It didn't affect the bomb's actual body or actions.
Logically speaking, all Kira had to do was press his thumb down, and Bakugo would have been instantly blown to smithereens. The victory of this match would have been his, without a doubt.
But... of course... he still couldn't do it.
Kira thought back on what had happened, a bitter smile on his face. He suddenly thought of Inasa Yoarashi, of the school play they had prepared with their class in junior high. He had been the same way then, too, sneaking out after the performance and standing in a dark corner below the stage, listening to Kamui Woods speak eloquently on stage.
Speaking of which, Kamui Woods accepted U.A.'s request. He should be on patrol around the grounds somewhere, right?
Yoshikage Kira stopped listening to Midnight read out the long list of sponsors and turned to leave the stadium.
So, this time, will anyone chase after me to hear what I really have to say? No, I suppose not.
"Young Kira, wait!"
A figure suddenly performed a leap of faith, like an assassin, jumping straight down from the stadium's superstructure with his arms spread. He did several flips in the air and landed with a boom right in front of Kira, blocking his path.
"All Might?" Kira was surprised. All Might had actually ignored the countless spectators in the stadium and the entire nation watching to come and find him.
All Might climbed out of the crater he had made, his face, which seemed to be naturally cast in shadow, laughing. "Young Kira, you can't just leave without a word! That's not very cooperative, and it certainly doesn't fit the code of conduct for a class president!"
For some reason, looking at All Might, Kira felt the corners of his mouth turn up in an unconscious smile. His heart truly felt... touched. But he didn't know what to say. Subconsciously, words that he would instantly regret tumbled out of his mouth. "All Might... your large hands are really ugly."
"Are my hands ugly?"
All Might looked as if he had been struck. He froze, staring blankly at his own rough, scarred hands. After a moment, he said quietly, "But with these rough hands, Young Kira... I've saved countless people."
Yoshikage Kira's heart trembled. He suddenly wanted to slap himself. Since when did I start thinking with Yoshikage Kira's attitude!? I'm not that guy!
"Young Kira, I know you're hiding many secrets. We both have things we understand without needing to say them."
All Might didn't seem to mind Kira's comment. He took the silver medal from his pocket. With both hands, he gently picked it up and placed it around Yoshikage Kira's neck. Then, he gently pulled him into a hug. "But just like your Quirk, this medal is something you earned with your own strength. It belongs to you. You can't just throw it away so easily."
"All Might... I'm so sorry..."
He didn't know why. Even though he had the mind of an adult, at this moment, Yoshikage Kira began to cry.
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