The city of Accra never slept, it was a chorus of honking taxis, loud music from restaurants and unfinished buildings groaning into the night skies, the weekend was here and it is usually so. But Efua's apartment was quiet, painfully so. She enjoyed that peace and quiet of her own apartment but tonight it felt so loud with everything she did not say, her thoughts beating her to it about how she felt .
She sat on the chair out her balcony, silk robe sliding of her shoulder, bare footed and a glass of coke that sat on the table half ignored and turning warm. Her phone buzzed on the table beside her for the third time that evening,
Still not him .
Not that she was waiting, she wasn't that kind of woman anymore, she had things to do priorities to set, a soft life to put together and a self to make proud. She had life the hard way, suffered abandonment and when she learned to become a better woman she waited on no one.
But some nights like this she wished someone would see her, not for her curves, how well she held things down or her efforts.
But for who she was when no one was watching, for who she was when she stopped performing.
Her last relationship had burned her from inside out,
The kind that thought her to find herself and love herself more
The kind of man who called her queen but treated her like an option
The kind who praised her softness but treated her like an option
The kind who cheated, and drained her emotionally but still manages to get her to believe she made him do it.
She finally left with her dignity but it hard cost her trust, she won't just hand that to anyone who walked into her life. She stopped expecting things from people, she stopped reaching out, she stopped hoping, she gave up on people….
Until Jessel.
It started on a Sunday after with a DM, It was her birthday and Jessel had taken her number from a friend to wish her a " happy birthday" she replied calmly but didn't want to entertain any strangers, some days past and he texted again but this time Efua had no intentions of responding cos she's had similar experience of guys trying to play swift around her. Several days passed again and her phone beeped and it was a text From Jessel again she says to herself " this one doesn't give up huh, let's me just tell him I'm not up for this" she picked up her phone to reply…..
" You post like someone who's healed, but still guarded. I respect that
She blinked at the message, she wasn't sure whether to feel complimented or exposed.
She clicked on his profile. Clean. Unassuming. No thirst traps. No motivation preacher energy. Just pictures of books, quiet quotes and a face that didn't try too hard.
He wasn't flashy, but something about him made her pause….
" Thanks, I think?. She replied , unsure
" it's a compliment, you seem like someone who doesn't perform softness, you live it! "
That line stayed with her longer that it should have.
He didn't chase
Didn't flood her inbox
Didn't ask for pictures and flirt with emojis
Jessel messaged like a man who payed attention to details, like someone who wasn't trying to impress her but trying to understand her.
As the days went by their conversation weren't surface level, they talked about what healing actually felt like and what it was choosing peace over attention, self care priorities and how being "too much" was a myth created by people who couldn't hold depth.
She told him more than she would tell, and told him about about her savings goal and how she's intending to buy a house in her name, for her and her mother.
He didn't say that was dope …
He said " that's sacred. You're protecting bloodline peace.
Who even speaks like that ?
They hadn't met yet, life had a funny way of pulling their plans out, late work shifts, family errands, bad traffic, hectic days, but that never stopped the emotional current pulling them closer.
He sent her voice note sometimes low, smooth, deliberate in tone and she played them severally cos this had seem to give her comfort
One time he said, " You sound like someone who laughs with her whole heart but cries in private, I hope whoever's in your life knows how to hold both"
She didn't respond for hours after that, she couldn't
She felt seen and it terrified her… because when someone sees you that much they have power to disappoint you. She wasn't sure if she could survive another disappointment.
One night, just after 10pm they talked on phone for nearly three hours,
They didn't flirt
They talked about their life, faith, why she hated being called strong
He told her about his childhood, about having a very quiet mother and how he learned for the first time that being quiet or silent wasn't the same as being okay
At some point in the call, he said " I don't want to rush this , there's something about you that feel like truth"
Her breath caught in her throat after a long pause .
" You don't even know me yet" , she replied
" But I do. I know the version of you you don't post . And I like her more ".
She didn't sleep well that night, not because she was nervous but because something in her had shifted.
She could feel it , like the ground beneath her was being rearranged.
That Friday, she didn't post any quotes, not aesthetic snaps or TikTok, she just sat out her balcony, bonnet on and staring at her phone.
She wanted to talk to him
Wanted to hear his voice .
Wanted him to want her back fully, not just in passing.
But old patterns whispered: Don't text first. He'll think you're too eager. Too available. Too much.
So she didn't.
But at 10:21pm, her phone lit up anyway.
" When's the last time someone really looked at you? Not in lust. Not in admiration. Just looked ".
She didn't know how to answer that .
But her heart answered for her .
Not in a long long time .
She didn't know where this was going, he hadn't asked to take her out yet.
He hadn't said he liked her, not with those words. But she could feel it. The tension. The quiet knowing.
And maybe just maybe
He was the one who wouldn't make her beg to be understood...
To be continued