Chapter 123: Tomoe Gozen's Interview Time
[Tomoe Gozen wants to interview your friends to investigate whether your private life is chaotic and to assess your reputation among them.]
[You suddenly feel a little scared.]
"Sir Tristan, may I conduct a brief interview with you?"
Inside the jolting vehicle, Tomoe Gozen turned and asked Tristan beside her.
"Of course, being interviewed by a beautiful woman like you is the greatest honor of my life!"
Tristan smiled as he spoke — surprisingly not in his usual melancholy tone, but rather enthusiastically.
Having such a beautiful married woman strike up a conversation with him, his depression seemed instantly cured.
"..."
Hearing their conversation, Eikou's heart trembled with every bump of the vehicle.
An ominous feeling crept over him.
Tristan, Roland, Charlemagne… none of them were reliable; there was a high chance they'd slip up and stab him in the back hard.
Oberon — the most silver-tongued of them all — wasn't here, and Gawain, the only one with high EQ and awareness, was driving at the moment, so he wouldn't be interviewed.
As for the remaining idiots, could they even answer Tomoe Gozen's questions properly?
Eikou thought nervously while pricking up his ears to listen to their conversation.
[You begin listening to the interview between Tomoe Gozen and the boys.]
[The first person to be interviewed is Tristan — the one who has the closest relationship with you.]
"I'd like to know, in your opinion, what kind of person is Eikou?" Tomoe Gozen asked seriously.
Tristan smiled faintly: "Umu, I understand."
You lunatic, understand what? She hasn't even finished her question yet!
Eikou felt certain that Tristan was about to pull some nonsense again.
"Understand what exactly?" Tomoe Gozen asked, confused.
"No need to say more, I understand."
Tristan nodded sagely and said in a knowing tone:
"Forbidden feelings that can't be spoken, knowing you can't move forward yet unable to suppress your heart — such emotions are precious, you must treasure them, beautiful lady!"
Tristan, you bastard! Did you think Tomoe Gozen was interviewing me because she secretly has feelings for me, and now you're trying to give her love advice or something?!
Eikou cursed inwardly.
"I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean… I just wanted to ask for your opinion of Eikou."
Tomoe Gozen, bewildered, quickly pulled the conversation back on track.
"All right, if we're talking about Sir Eikou then…"
Tristan nodded, and his eyes suddenly grew sharp.
"To put it simply, he's someone I deeply respect!"
For some reason, even though he was being praised, Eikou didn't feel happy at all — instead, a chill ran down his spine.
Then, with a deep and solemn look, Tristan slowly began to describe his impression of Eikou:
"The Sir Eikou I know is a man of great loyalty and righteousness, always willing to sacrifice himself for others, generous and kind. When it comes to his comrades, needless to say, but even towards the weak in Chaldea, Sir Eikou always shows compassion. Even strangers, he helps them without hesitation."
"Oh? Oh? So Eikou is held in such high regard by you, haha, that's really wonderful."
Tomoe Gozen was a bit surprised upon hearing that.
Although Tristan's words were somewhat exaggerated, his tone was so sincere that it was clear he truly believed what he was saying.
For a friend to hold Eikou in such esteem, Tomoe Gozen's impression of him immediately improved.
Her beautiful eyes sparkled as she smiled and asked further:
"So what kind of good deeds has Eikou done? Which vulnerable groups has he helped? The elderly, children, or the disabled?"
"None of those. The 'vulnerable group' I was referring to is actually…"
Tristan said solemnly:
"Widows!"
Tomoe Gozen: "???"
Pfft—!
Eikou nearly spat out the sea cucumber he was eating.
Tristan, however, failed to notice the chaos he had caused; on the contrary, he became even more enthusiastic, like an old gossiping aunt in the village, speaking nonstop:
"Sir Eikou helps widows fight in the Holy Grail War, and at school, he often warms the hearts of widows as well. He truly has a lifelong affinity with widows! Recently, even some Servants who are married women have been visiting the classroom asking whether Eikou is around. All of this proves he's someone with great connections, who touches hearts with his genuine kindness!"
Tristan, you goddamn idiot, has your brain completely fermented?! What the hell are you telling Tomoe Gozen right now?!
You're not praising my virtues at all — you're making me sound like some shameless bastard who preys on married women! Could there possibly be a worse way to describe me?!
Tomoe Gozen came here to investigate my private life, and you've just exposed every single suspicious thing about me in one breath!
"Hold on, let me add a few words,"
At that critical moment, Charlemagne couldn't hold it in anymore — itching to open his big mouth, he jumped into the conversation, eager to share his own thoughts about Eikou with Tomoe Gozen:
"Eikou's actually really handsome, you know. Not just the girls in the Britain class, but even the ones in our France class have a really good impression of him! 'Eikou-kun from the next class is such a softie — if you ask him nicely, no matter how unreasonable the request, he'll still agree~!' Ahaha, that's what they all say! Guess doing good deeds really does bring good karma~"
That's not a compliment — that's spreading false rumors about me! How can anyone even believe such absurd gossip?!
"… is that so…"
Hearing all that, Tomoe Gozen broke into a cold sweat, too embarrassed to even know what to say.
"I… I think I understand what kind of person Eikou is now."
Mochizuki Eikou — ranked number one on the "must-eat" list of married women!
"..."
Eikou was so mortified that he covered his face; right now he just wanted to find a hole to crawl into.
You bastards… once we get back to Chaldea, I'll crush every single one of you into dust and flush you down the toilet! Kill them all!!
"This lovely lady, why don't you come and interview me next? I'd also like to say a few words about Eikou."
Roland — who had been quiet up until now — chose this exact moment to butt into the conversation.
Eikou's heart instantly plunged into the abyss.
It's over. Among all of them, the craziest and most perverted one has spoken up.
"Eikou, huh? No need for many words, I can sum him up in just one…"
Sitting upright, Roland raised an eyebrow and said solemnly:
"Saint!"
"C–Could you… elaborate?"
Tomoe Gozen rubbed her temples; at this point, she could hardly take any of these evaluations seriously anymore.
"You might not believe it, but I'm completely serious…"
Roland's expression grew unusually solemn as he began to explain:
"Among all of us, even though Eikou is the only one who's never been knighted, he's actually the man with the truest chivalric spirit in the entire school. He's always willing to help and welcome anyone, always empathetic toward others' circumstances, tolerant of their flaws, and constantly finding ways to make people happy. Even with a weirdo like me, he can get along perfectly well.
"If I had to say Eikou has a flaw, it's that he's too kind — always putting other people's feelings and needs before his own."
Roland smiled softly and went on in a calm tone:
"We can all see the things he does for everyone, and that's why everyone loves hanging out with him. Someone you can have that much fun with can't possibly be a bad person!"
Eikou's eyes widened in disbelief.
That… that was a completely positive evaluation?!
Even when pointing out his "flaw," Roland's phrasing was clever — it sounded like criticism, but was actually high praise.
Given Roland's usual personality and way of thinking, he was never the kind to flatter others, much less come up with flowery compliments.
Which meant… Roland genuinely meant what he said — he truly saw Eikou as a good man with a noble, knightly spirit.
"..."
A warm feeling welled up inside Eikou's chest.
"Is that so?"
Tomoe Gozen still seemed half-skeptical, nodding slightly.
"Please, you must believe me, every word I said is true. Eikou really is a rare man of loyalty and virtue…"
Roland said excitedly,
"For example, that time when we went to that party together, he couldn't have been more righteous — he not only helped me dodge a trap but even acted as my wingman…"
Wait—he can't be bringing that up to Tomoe Gozen, right? That'll make us sound like a bunch of shallow, woman-crazy idiots!
And besides, the women at that party were…
Eikou's eyes widened in horror.
"They were our school's teachers!"
Reaching the dramatic climax of the story, Roland grew even more animated, slapping his thigh with a loud smack!
"For my happiness, he risked everything and flirted with Scathach-sensei at the party — that night, he even went and scored his own homeroom teacher!"
Don't tell Tomoe Gozen that, you idiot!!!
I was wondering why you'd suddenly started sounding so decent — turns out you were just building up to drop a goddamn thunder bomb right at the end!!
...