Chapter 169: Old Goods Made New
[That night, you had a very strange dream.]
[You dreamed that Jeanne Alter suddenly became strangely proactive, not only clingy but also full of tolerance, making you want to burrow into her ample chest like a child to act spoiled.]
[She was extremely proactive, even eager, holding your hand and going straight to the love hotel.]
[Right when you and she were fiercely PVP-ing, she suddenly said: "Onee-san moe moe beam~?"]
[Eeeeeck— turns out it was Saint Jeanne wearing Jeanne Alter's clothes!]
[You were so scared that you woke up from the dream.]
[In the middle of the night, you were a bit shaken; your condition worsened, and all body-related attributes temporarily dropped by one level.]
...
The calendar flipped to a new square, stopping at June 4th.
The sun gradually rose; it was a new day again.
[June 4th, sunny]
[Today is the important date (the decisive battle) between you and Baobhan Sith!]
[You set an alarm very early, crawled out of bed to train, then prepared for today's dating campaign.]
[You groomed yourself carefully, checked the date schedule and scenarios in your mind, simulating all kinds of developments to ensure that there would be no mistakes this time.]
[... Of course, you don't think just one date is enough to conquer Baobhan Sith, but you're not in a hurry.]
[However, you've studied diligently for a whole month for this date; this is an achievement that you fought very hard to obtain, and it is also the result of everyone's joint effort.]
[Therefore, you must show your best and most serious attitude!]
[And under your thorough preparation, the time for the date quickly arrived.]
[Your friends know very well how much effort you put into this date, so before you leave, they even held a particularly grand send-off to boost your morale!]
[In front of Chaldea Academy's gate, your friends surrounded you, clapping to congratulate you...]
Gawain: "Omedetou (Congratulations)."
Tristan: "Omedetou."
Charlemagne: "Omedetou."
Roland: "Omedetou."
Oberon: "Omedetou."
"Thank you, everyone!"
Seeing his friends sincerely clapping and giving their blessings, Eikou showed a warm smile.
"Even though things didn't go so well before, this time I'll give it my all!"
"It's okay, we've seen all your efforts," the Knight of the Sun patted his shoulder, comforting him, "This time just do your best. If you need anything, say the word—your brothers will give everything to support your love life!"
"Alright everyone, send the knight off to battle!!"
[Oberon activates Morning Lark EX]
[In the morning, your mental state becomes better.]
[Tristan activates Harp of Healing C]
[This harp sound is pretty useless, but it sounds nice.]
[Charlemagne activates Over the Royal Road C]
[It's said this skill can make people look a bit more handsome.]
[Gawain and Roland don't have skills to perform, so they plan to give you a few small gifts.]
"I don't have much to give you..."
Gawain solemnly took out a bento box,
"If during the date you get tired and need to replenish your strength, you can eat my Royal triple-size mashed potatoes to recover."
"Thank you very much, Gawain!"
Eikou gratefully accepted the portion of mashed potatoes.
The next one was Roland.
"A date with a girl, and you're going empty-handed? Impossible."
Roland—while in a completely naked state—spoke with the sharp gaze of a specialist as he took out a toy hand puppet.
"I specially prepared this for you, Shinji-kun. You can give it to the girl. It's not only a toy but can also swallow any kind of trash, combining appearance and practicality. I can't think of a gift more suitable for a girl than this."
Why is it Shinji-kun again? Can a girl really like this disgusting seaweed-headed puppet?
Moreover, this thing nearly killed us last time, Gawain almost failed to preserve the royal bloodline of the Fairy Kingdom—why do you still dare to bring it out?!
"But anyway, thank you, Roland, it's exactly what I need."
Eikou looked deeply moved, and he casually poured the mashed potatoes he had just received into Shinji-kun's mouth.
Gawain: "?"
"Alright alright, anyway thank you all for cheering me on!"
Eikou waved elegantly, preparing to step out of the school gate for his date,
"No need for more gifts, just wish me smooth sailing."
[You step out of the school gate.]
A sudden notice flashed before his eyes.
[You recall the information Finn told you before: outside the school, there is a large number of your enthusiastic married woman fans who have recently been lingering around Chaldea Academy.]
[Sensing the density of married woman around you, the skill Disaster With Women has a chance to auto-activate...]
[Activation successful!]
"???"
Smooth sailing my ass, so you mean the moment I step out the gate I'll be in trouble, right?!
A die tumbled down.
The number on the die was exactly what Eikou expected, yet it still sent chills down his spine.
It was E — meaning great success!
[Disaster With Women, great success!]
"Damn it, why is it that every time I roll Disaster With Women, it almost never misses?!"
And it had to be right before his date with Baobhan Sith — the most infuriating timing!
Eikou trembled, panicked, scanning left and right, pulling his collar tight, fearing that a married woman would jump out from the gate and drag him off.
Normally, he might have accepted his fate.
But not today — for the sake of dating Baobhan Sith, he had worked hard for an entire month; absolutely no accidents could happen!
"Married woman or Shurafield or whatever, at least spare me for today!"
Eikou looked around warily but still didn't see any trace of women.
Too quiet, sparse pedestrians — which only made things feel even more abnormal.
"No, help meeeeeee!!!"
A miserable, despairing scream from Roland rang out behind him.
"Get a hold of yourself, Roland!"
The urgent voices of his friends followed immediately.
"What happened?!"
Eikou's heart sank; he hurriedly turned around to see what was going on.
Did Disaster With Women great success spill over to Roland, making him get violently ambushed by a married woman Servant?!
"No, Roland!"
Eikou quickly spun around.
What greeted his eyes was Roland collapsing onto the ground, with some part of his body stuck inside Shinji-kun's mouth, completely unable to pull it out!
"Roland, he..."
Charlemagne closed his eyes, pained, unable to look directly,
"His Mini Holy Sword is stuck in Shinji-kun's mouth again!"
"?"
A repeat of last time?!
"What kind of plot is this even supposed to be? This has absolutely nothing to do with Disaster With Women anymore, so why is the one in danger Roland?!"
Eikou said with a confused expression.
"..."
Seeing Roland struggling to pull his small Holy Sword out of Shinji-kun's mouth, Oberon beside him spoke softly and sorrowfully:
"Have you ever heard… the story of King Arthur pulling Caliburn from the stone?"
I don't want to hear it aaa!!!
Seriously, Oberon, last time you also used the Sword in the Stone analogy for Roland?! Do you secretly hate Arthur or something?!