We both stand in silence, staring at each other meticulously.
''Why are you?'' she quietly says.
''What was that senpai? I couldn't hear that'' I ask. "Are you or are you not Shizuka-chan?" I reiterate.
''WHY ARE YOU READING THAT NAGANO-KUN''she screams.
I quickly went into the Dogeza position at the speed of light.
''I'm so sorry, Senpai. I didn't mean to invade your privacy; please forgive me'' I surrendered.
She takes a deep breath. ''It's fine, Nagano-kun; I forgive you, but you really shouldn't poke into other people's business like that".
''Yes senpai I really am sorry… but are you really Shizuka-chan?'' I repeat it once again.
''I guess I've been caught in the act. Yes, Nagano-kun, I am Shizuka-chan," she sighs in defeat.
I could not believe it. The school princess, known to be the smartest, most mature, and most respected, is my favourite streamer, Shizuka-chan. I freeze just upon hearing her confirmation. This is all so bizarre. How is this even happening right now? ''But why, Senpai, you don't look like someone who does such things as live streams?'' I ask her in confusion.
''The 'school princess' gimmick is one life I live. I don't look like someone who streams because everyone has extremely high expectations of me, so I cannot let them down. I have to live up to all their expectations, but when I started streaming for fun as a Vtuber but as time went on, I felt as free as I could have been. I can express my true self, and no one can judge me with a virtual mask to cover my real identity," she begins to vent to me.
"Because of my pursuit of streaming and being Shizuka-chan, I've experienced so many good things, not just for me but for the community that has always supported me. Sometimes I really wanted to reveal and really act as free as Shizuka-chan… the 'real' me''.
''Woah, I never knew that, Senpai. It must have been tough to bear such burdens for you to feel like this'' I sympathise with her.
''Well, I bet you must think much less of me now that you know'' she sulks.
"Not at all, Senpai. It's quite the opposite. Because of your streams, you helped me out in times when I was at an all-time low, unmotivated, and at the very least suicidal." I vent back to her, ''Your uplifting energy from every stream inspires people like me to keep on moving forward. What I feel for you is respect, gratitude, and lo-" I cut myself off from revealing too much.
I look up to see Natsuki-senpai tearing up.
''Ahhh, I'm sorry, Senpai, I didn't mean to offend you or anything'' I say panickingly.
''No, it's just that I'm so happy. No one has ever told me how much they really liked my streams in person, This means a lot to me. Thank you very much, Nagano-kun", she says, tearfully smiling.
I start to feel heavy pulsations in my chest.
''You're so cut—I mean, so cool, you know.'' I almost slipped up again.
''Thank you, Nagano-kun'' Natsuki-senpai says while wiping her tears away, ''But can I please ask you to keep this a secret between us''
''Yes, Senpai, don't worry, your secret is safe with me'' I replied back.
"And…You don't have to call me senpai when we are the only ones together." she says
"Really? But I'm not that close with you senpai-" I say before she cuts me off.
"Hey. I said you can drop the formality. We are close now" she boldly states.
We both sat back down and carried on with the tutor session, but I couldn't pay attention at all. The girl I love is my school's princess. That's when I knew that I was officially out of her league. There's no way Natsuki-san would go out with someone like me. It feels like my dreams have been shattered by reality. Now that I know Shizuka-chan's identity I realistically have no choice but to give up my only and first love.
''What's wrong Nagano-kun you look a little down, are you finding the work difficult?'' Natsuki-san says, looking concerned.
''Ah it's nothing, I was just thinking of something'' I replied back to her after I heartbreakingly frowned.
We wrap up our study session soon enough and I pack up to get ready for training.
"Natsuki-se- no I mean Natsuki-san. Do you mind if I change my clothes here? I might cut into my gym session if I change there" I ask her.
"No, I don't mind at all" she awkwardly says without leaving the room or telling me what room to change in.
"Uhhh. Are you going to leave the room or should I move to a different room?" I quizzingly ask with a bit of embarrassment.
She's lost in thought and piercing my face with her stare. I feel almost… violated. She's looking at my still-clothed body with her mouth slightly open and hungry eyes before she snaps out of her trance of (probably) awe.
"Ah yes I will leave the room, just don't go looking around and touching stuff in my room again okay?" she demands with a slight blush as she turns towards the door.
She closes the door but not fully. There was still a crevice to peek through and so conveniently directly at me. Nonetheless, I am quick at changing clothes so no one won't see much. I started off with my shirt and as soon as it was taken off, I heard a quiet "Kyaah!" shrieked from outside the room. Perhaps Natuski-san tripped on something. I then move on to my trousers. As soon as they were taken off, I heard a loud thud outside the room which startled me into thinking that Natsuki-san was being attacked again so I quickly changed into my shorts and burst out of the room only to see Natsuki-san on the floor with her hand over her mouth and nose, and the other over her chest.
"HUH!? What happened, Natsuki-san?" I asked in terror.
"It's nothing, I just felt a bit dizzy and suddenly dropped to the floor but now my nose is bleedi- AHH! this is so embarrassing" she says with her muffled voice.
All of a sudden Natsuki-san turns around, hiding her face from me.
"Natsuki-san are you ok? I ask her, feeling as if I said something I should have not.
But she remains silent and as I look carefully her ears are red and almost turn the same colour as her blood. I reach for a handkerchief and place it under her nostrils as I guide her up on her feet and make our way to the bathroom. I stay with her until her bleeding subsides with my hand patting her neck gently and giving her as much comfort as I can.
"Thanks for helping me again Nagano-kun, you certainly know how to help someone. It seems I have to repay you again."
"No no senpai you have helped me a lot. I'm the one that should be thanking you for your wisdom in today's session. And enough with this repaying business schtick. Besides, I already uncovered a revelation that I wasn't supposed to know. But you need not worry as your secret is always safe with me" I promise her with my pinky finger out to her.
"I trust you Nagano-kun" she says as she seals the pinky promise.
I leave with my stuff and head off to the gym to train
Today has been too much for me, first having Natsuki-san come into my class and asking me to eat lunch with her then being invited to her house to tutor me and then finding out she's Shizuka-chan ''It was like I was a main character today'' I thought to myself
Hopefully my training can help ease my mind and forget about my love for Shizuka-chan.I arrive at the gym and put my stuff in my locker and go to meet my training mentor.
''Yo Katsu, my man how are you?'' I look up to see my training mentor Yuto Kato.
Coach Yuto Kato. He is an almost elderly man but sure does not function like the age he is. He is one of the training mentors in the Krystal gym as my personal training mentor. We have been acquainted for almost 3 years now and he has helped me to maintain my fitness and wellbeing through countless training sessions. Every time we train, he is always very observant and informative towards me. I'm like a book to him.
''Yo Yuto-san, I'm doing good. Thank you'' I replied back to him with a gloomy mood over my face.
"Definitely doesn't look like it, kid. Is there something bothering you at school or at home?" Yuto-san inquires as he eyeballs my wrapped hand.
"It's not much really. Just feeling down right now, it will be gone later" I say begrudgingly.
"That face… I've seen that face many times before. You've finally become a man, haven't you? You have fallen in love and had your heart broken just like that. Oh what a sorrow it is!" Yuto-san exclaims. "It happens to the best of us but I never expected you to bloom this early to the game so here's what we are going to do for today's session." Yuto-san prepares himself intuitively. "We- actually. You will be working off that stress and emotions this session. It won't matter how long it takes or if the gym is surrendered to just the both of us. Just let it all out. You can speak about it whenever you're ready but I shall leave you be for the time being." The coach wisely decides.
"Thanks Yuto-san" I reply back feeling just a bit better.
"Any time now we can begin" he beckons.
And so I zone into a state of catharsis and start my training session, I start repping every muscle in my body to its utmost limits. I'm almost out of breath but the voice in me says that there is still more to do. So I continue. I continue till I drop.
''Great work Katsu make sure to get some rest when you get home'' Yuto-san tells me
''Ok Yuto-san, I will thank you again for today'' I replied back to him as I packed my stuff and headed home. As i leave the gym i look up and seen it is already late and i start making my way home remembering how lively today was it was the complete opposite of my peaceful life i was less of a background character and more of a main character, i sigh and look up at the stars in the sky ''is my life going to be like this from now on''. I arrive home and get greeted by the two other annoying people in my life, my younger sister Shiori who is in 4th grade and my older sister Saori who is 22 years old who loves getting drunk.
''Katsu onii-chan welcome home'' Shiori comes over hugging me tightly
''Shiori don't hug me i just came back from the gym and my clothes are soaking of sweat'' i tell her trying to make her let go
''honestly you love going to the gym so much don't tell me you have a thing for muscular guys'' Saori-nee starts cackling
''Very funny Saori-nee you drunk again?'' I say with an annoyed look ''i'm going to take a bath'' i say as I head upstairs. I rinsed myself off and I went for a soak in the bath. Whilst i was soaking in the bath my mind went wild thinking how Natsuki-san was Shizuka-chan.
''She really is incredible being loved as the school's princess and as Shizuka-chan'' I lose myself in thought while relaxing in the bath.