"Haaah…"
Sitting in a chair, staring at the neon lights flickering outside the window, Duanmu Huai let out a long sigh.
"Love, huh…"
Muttering to himself, he raised a can of beer and took a long gulp.
Maybe it was because of that strange girl he talked to today—
But Duanmu Huai was, for once, thinking about this question again.
Whether he wanted love or not—
He honestly had never thought about it.
After the failure of his so-called first love back in school, he never once considered having any intimate involvement with women.
And with his appearance, drawing the interest of a woman would be… extremely unlikely.
He had watched harem anime before, but unfortunately—he never felt any sense of self-insertion.
For a simple reason:
Even harem anime's useless male leads—
Even those who are spineless, worthless, or overweight—
Still have women falling for them.
And such a thing…
Duanmu Huai was certain would never happen to him.
That was one of the reasons he preferred playing female characters in games.
It wasn't like he wanted to catfish anyone online.
He had no intention of online dating.
It was just… easier that way.
He didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
He had no real interest in romance to begin with.
And marriage? Even less so.
Honestly, even though various circumstances resulted in him being engaged to An and Guleiya, Duanmu Huai had no idea how he was supposed to treat them.
How was he supposed to act like a fiancé?
He had never once thought about such a thing.
Just like in real life, Duanmu Huai simply focused on what was in front of him—
How to get commissions, how to grind gold, how to make money.
As for what came after—what he should do, what he wanted to do—
Duanmu Huai never bothered to think about it.
He never wondered if he'd grow old alone.
Never wondered if he should get married, have children.
Never wondered whether he would still be living like this in his forties or fifties.
He simply stared at the present.
Monotonous, repetitive—
Like doing daily log-ins in a mobile game.
I logged in, got the reward. That's enough.
What use the reward had, or what it meant for the future—
He never considered.
And now was no different.
His only goal at the moment was to become strong enough to fight the Chaos Gods.
Everything he did was for that.
Anything outside that goal?
He barely paid attention to it.
Just like in an FPS game: the player only cares about finding weak points and defeating the boss.
There's no need for a sweet romantic subplot to "lighten the mood."
There is no need. At all.
"Troublesome."
Finishing the beer, Duanmu Huai shook his head.
He had no idea what nonsense he had caught today, letting that kimono girl's words influence him enough to turn him into some sentimental artsy youth.
Frankly, he felt that didn't suit him at all.
Forget it. Sleep.
With that thought, he yawned, lay down on the bed, closed his eyes—
And fell asleep.
When Duanmu Huai opened his eyes again, he found himself in a classroom.
In front of him stood a girl.
She hadn't turned around, but he remembered her.
His first love—
Or rather… calling it first love wasn't entirely accurate.
Duanmu Huai wasn't sure he ever felt real romantic affection for her.
The reason he confessed back then was simple:
She was the tallest girl in class—still shorter than him, but taller than the rest.
Because of that, she was constantly called the "giant girl."
She had a bit of a boyish temper too—
Whenever someone called her that, she would fight back.
Over time, she became ostracized, just like Duanmu Huai.
Back then, he thought they were kindred spirits—
And so he confessed to her.
Now that he recalled it, the expression on her face had been complicated.
She lowered her head, said nothing, and only gave a slight nod.
At the time, Duanmu Huai had been happy—
Thinking she felt the same.
But after she transferred schools, he understood.
She wasn't happy.
She wasn't excited.
She was suffering, and despairing.
Already isolated by classmates for her height—
And then the "demon king" of the school confessed to her.
Of course she wanted to escape.
Perhaps that was why she chose to leave both the school and the city.
Outside the window was nothing—
Nothing but a vast kaleidoscope of shimmering, rotating colors.
And then—
A voice whispered in his ear.
"Do you yearn for love?"
"...…"
Duanmu Huai didn't answer.
He simply stared at the familiar yet distant silhouette of the girl and frowned slightly.
"Do not fear love.
Do not fear desire."
The voice continued.
"To love and yearn for another is the instinct of all living beings—
The mark etched deep within the soul.
If you reject it, ignore it, you will only be destroyed by it.
Fear and avoidance solve nothing.
If you wish to achieve your goal, you must accept it—
And conquer it."
"...…"
Duanmu Huai remained silent, tightening his fists.
"Remember—this is only the beginning.
If you cannot take this step, you will never face your true enemy."
The kaleidoscope outside flickered and spun, painting the dream in shimmering light.
"So your meaning is…"
He opened his mouth.
And at that moment—
A ridiculous idea flashed through his mind.
Don't say… this quest is meant to…
"Running away resolves nothing.
Emotions are not a burden—
They are power."
The voice whispered softly.
"Examine yourself.
Search for your desire.
Uncover its existence,
Let it become your strength—
Not your weakness."
The kaleidoscope glowed brighter and brighter, its light forming shimmering images—
Low, trembling whispers—
Pale bodies intertwined—
Everything swirling together, surging toward him like an overwhelming tide—
And then—
He abruptly opened his eyes.
"Duanmu-san."
Honoka was sitting beside him, staring nervously.
"Are you okay, Duanmu-san?"
"I'm fine. What happened?"
He frowned, and Honoka hesitated before answering uneasily.
"Because… you've been unconscious for two days.
No matter how I called you, you wouldn't wake up.
I thought you…"
"Two days?"
Duanmu Huai was shocked.
He sat up immediately.
"What about the match?"
"It hasn't started yet… Duanmu-san, are you really still planning to compete?"
"Of course."
He stood up and stretched.
He still didn't know what that dream was—
But he had some idea.
Still, now wasn't the time to confirm it.
First he needed to fight.
Beat the last opponent.
And then—
Then he would think about everything else.
(End of Chapter)