The old man's commission was actually very simple. His granddaughter, Laura, had been captured by a monster and taken to the monster's lair, and he wanted someone to help rescue her. After all, the situation on the front lines was unclear right now, and he had no way to spare manpower to look for his granddaughter...…
"This is a photo of Laura."
"Oh...…."
Silently taking the photo the old man handed over and then glancing at the soldiers behind him who were busy preparing crossbows and spears, Duanmu Huai had completely lost the mood to complain.
You even have cameras now—are you going to pull out a smartphone next?!
Forget it. This world is already so unreasonable that I'm too lazy to look for logic in it anymore.
Even if you pulled out satellite missiles next, I wouldn't be surprised.
In fact, what was strange wasn't just this world's level of civilization—its monsters were just as bizarre.
"Yaaaa———!!!"
As Duanmu Huai brought his hammer down, the monster before him let out a miserable scream and turned into—remains.
That's right, remains.
This thing was literally a television with two legs and arms. To put it bluntly...…a TV that had gained sentience?
"Master, the enemies here are really strange."
"Yeah, I don't even know how to describe them."
Duanmu Huai helplessly put away his heavy hammer. Ever since they had entered this cave, they had encountered quite a few enemies. Some were relatively normal, like a toad as big as a person that could breathe fire. But there were also enemies that left you completely speechless, like the sentient TV in front of them, or the earlier octopus monsters with human legs that ran around everywhere...…it felt as if the creator of this world couldn't be bothered to think things through and had just randomly grafted stuff together and thrown it in here.
If this world has a creator god, then that god is definitely a lazy bastard.
While the two of them were complaining, Yue Huasha's eyes suddenly lit up and she pointed forward.
"Is it over there?"
"Hm?"
Duanmu Huai looked in the direction Yue Huasha was pointing. In a cave not far ahead in the passageway, a wooden two-story cottage stood there. Beside it were trees and bushes that looked like stage backdrops, as well as a mailbox—giving the impression that this was some kind of stage prop from a play.
There were even spotlights set up beside it!
Where the hell did the electricity here come from? What are you using to generate power?
If I stay any longer, my common sense is going to completely collapse.
"There's also a nameplate next to it, with Laura's name on it."
Alright, then it looked like this was the place.
Although he had no idea what kind of act this was supposed to be, Duanmu Huai still led Yue Huasha and Olgis forward. Just as they arrived in front of the little wooden house inside the cave, the people inside seemed to notice their presence. The door opened, and a fluffy, round little ball with limbs, along with a girl, walked out.
"Who are you? What are you doing here?"
The round ball, which looked no bigger than a plush toy, stood in front of the girl, glaring viciously at them as it questioned them. Duanmu Huai completely ignored its existence. He simply took out the photo, compared it for a moment, then looked at the brown-haired girl in front of him.
"You're Laura, right?"
"Huh? That's me...…."
Hearing Duanmu Huai suddenly call her name, the brown-haired girl grew uneasy, her face pale as she looked at him. The round ball stood protectively in front of her, staring at Duanmu Huai.
"Who are you, really? What do you want with Laura?"
"We're adventurers. We accepted Laura's grandfather's commission to rescue this child from the monster that kidnapped her...…."
As he spoke, Duanmu Huai looked at the fluffy round ball standing in front of Laura.
Don't tell me it's this thing?
"Kidnapped?!"
Before the brown-haired girl could say anything, the fluffy round ball jumped up.
"I didn't kidnap Laura! We're truly in love!"
"...…Huh?"
Duanmu Huai froze, while Yue Huasha also looked at them in surprise. Olgis blinked curiously, watching the two with great interest.
"What did you say?"
"That's right! Little Wu and I are truly in love!"
As she spoke, the brown-haired girl hugged the fluffy round ball tightly.
"We're lovers!!"
"...…"
So after all that, this isn't a monster kidnapping a human—it's Romeo and Juliet?
The number of times I've been left speechless today is higher than everything since I transmigrated here combined.
What the fuck is all this bullshit?
While Duanmu Huai was speechless, the brown-haired girl and the fluffy round ball in her arms gazed at each other affectionately.
"Laura, this place is dangerous. You go home first. I'll take care of these intruders."
"Little Wu, will you really be okay?"
"It'll be fine. Laura doesn't need to worry about anything—just leave it to me."
"Mm, I think Little Wu will be fine too, but be careful not to get hurt, okay?"
"Don't worry, I'll never do anything that would make Laura sad...…."
Fuck, I'm going to puke—what kind of bullshit is this?!
Watching this sickeningly affectionate human—and beast?—pair, Duanmu Huai was so angry his nose practically started smoking.
"Master, what should we do?"
Hearing Olgis's question, Duanmu Huai thought for a moment, then his eyes lit up.
I've got an idea.
"Watch me."
Just as the brown-haired girl reluctantly let go of the fluffy round ball and was about to return to the little wooden house, Duanmu Huai suddenly stepped forward, clenched his chainsword, and slashed forward.
"Whoosh!!"
The howling blade wind flashed between the brown-haired girl and the fluffy round ball, splitting their wooden house cleanly in two. They were stunned by Duanmu Huai's sudden action, standing there in a daze. At the same time, Duanmu Huai strode forward, his eyes cold as he stared at the fluffy round ball. A terrifying aura radiated from his body.
The fluffy round ball trembled violently, and the brown-haired girl's legs went weak as she collapsed to the ground.
Duanmu Huai walked up to the brown-haired girl, grabbed her, and lifted her up like a chicken.
"Laura! What are you doing to Laura?!"
The fluffy round ball screamed and tried to rush forward, but Duanmu Huai raised the chainsword horizontally, blocking its movement.
"Since you claim this is true love, then I'll give you a chance to prove it."
The chainsword began spinning wildly, emitting a bone-chilling roar. Duanmu Huai's gaze was icy.
"Next, I'll swing one strike at you. If you stay right there and are willing to take this strike, then I'll return this girl to you. But if you dodge or run away, then this girl will become my slave—played with and humiliated at my whim, reduced to the lowest possible toy. So, are you willing?"
"I—I...…I'm willing!!"
The fluffy round ball trembled violently but still nodded.
The brown-haired girl tried to speak, but Duanmu Huai tightened his fingers slightly, stopping her. He raised the chainsword high and swung it down.
"AAAAAAAH!!!"
At the last instant, the fluffy round ball finally broke under the terror. It screamed and fled into the depths of the cave.
"I'm sorry! Laura!!! I'm sorry...!!!"
"Hmph."
Duanmu Huai released the girl. She collapsed to the ground, staring blankly at the direction it had fled.
"See that? Your so-called true love is worthless in the face of death. In the end, this was nothing more than a romance game."
Duanmu Huai gave Olgis a look. She nodded. His finger twitched slightly.
A muffled scream echoed from deep within the cave. Moments later, a puppet holding a bloodstained spear silently returned.
Although this world felt absurd, Duanmu Huai's principles never changed. As an Inquisitor, eliminating all xenos that threatened humanity was his duty. That creature, harmless as it looked, had dared to seduce a human. That alone warranted extermination.
"Alright, let's go, little girl."
The brown-haired girl followed silently, clearly shaken by the creature's cowardice.
This commission was easy.
All that's left is returning her and moving on.
Still… I've got a really bad feeling.
If there's already a war, then knowing game logic, that scientist is probably captured and I'll have to rescue them next.
Headache.
"Rustle!"
As the four descended the mountain, a figure suddenly flew out of the bushes and slammed into the ground ahead.
"Hm?"
It was a purple-haired ninja girl.
Alright, that's redundant—every girl here is a beauty.
Now's not the time for word games.
"Ugh...!!"
She spat out blood.
"Hey, are you okay?"
She looked up—and froze.
"Oh? What, already out of strength?"
A red-haired woman stepped out, smiling coldly.
This woman is dangerous.
Duanmu Huai felt it instantly—evil, tyranny, and something almost divine.
"Hand over the holy armament. I might spare you."
"I will never hand it over...!!"
"So be it."
"Xisa, Isis—grab her. Kill these pests too."
"ROAR———!!"
Two stone giants charged forward.
I didn't even come looking for trouble—and you're courting death?
"Die!"
The Thunder Warhammer smashed one giant apart. The second fell moments later.
The red-haired woman stared in disbelief.
"A demon..."
"Yes. I am the demon Satella."
"You killed my subordinates."
"That's my line."
Black flames erupted. The invincible barrier shattered.
She was sent flying.
She's still intact… so demons really are built differently.
"The barrier… broken? Are you a Hero?"
Duanmu Huai answered with another swing.
She escaped.
"Tch. She got away."
The ninja girl collapsed unconscious.
"What now, Master?"
Duanmu Huai thought for a moment.
"For now, take everyone back."
(End of Chapter)