LightReader

Chapter 170 - Chapter 18: I Want to Respond to Everyone's Feelings

"President Kitagawa, it's almost time for the meeting."

Kushida Kikyo knocked lightly on the door of the club president's office as she spoke, but there was no response from inside. She hesitated for a moment, then used her key to unlock the door.

Kitagawa Ryo, who had been there during lunch break, was nowhere to be seen. Kushida looked puzzled as she stepped into the small room—there wasn't even a place someone could hide.

"Did he go to the bathroom?"

She muttered while dialing Ryo's number.

"The number you have dialed is powered off..."

The cold, mechanical voice repeated itself again and again. Kushida sighed.

Without Ryo, the final review meeting couldn't begin. She informed the group chat about the situation and sent a message to Karuizawa Kei—though they weren't close, Kei might be able to reach him.

-------------------------------------

"——!"

Kitagawa Ryo lifted his head from the water-filled bathtub, gasping deeply for air. The pain of suffocation had reached its limit.

His lungs, nearly collapsing, cried out as they greedily pulled in oxygen.

It was a bit like the breath-holding games he used to play in the bath as a kid. Ryo pushed his wet hair back, his eyes glowing faintly red.

But this was no child's game.

If he truly wanted to confirm whether this was reality or still part of a simulation...

Once his breathing steadied, he submerged his head again. Water surged into his nose and mouth, blocking all airflow. His lungs cried out once more.

But... it still wasn't enough.

Ryo knew his limits. He kept his head underwater, still and unresisting.

His heartbeat quickened, his brain screamed in alarm, desperately trying to pull him back to consciousness—as if trying to restrain this self-destructive act.

Reality. Simulation. Life Restart.

Ryo's body went limp. He felt like he was about to pass out. His knees and strength gave out entirely. A sense of emptiness—or perhaps near-nothingness—washed over him.

The line between life and death blurred.

Just as his consciousness began to fade and his thoughts fragmented, a sudden force pushed up from below, lifting his head back to the surface.

"Meow."

Hotaru, soaked and dripping, jumped onto the edge of the bathtub. As if trying to pull him away from danger, the cat bit into Ryo's collar and tugged toward the door. But she wasn't strong enough—she only managed to tilt his head slightly.

Gravity took over. Ryo, who had been leaning over the edge of the tub, fell backward onto the bathroom floor, facing upward. Thankfully, the floor was carpeted with anti-slip mats, so he wasn't hurt.

"——"

"Cough, cough."

He coughed and gasped, his vision nearly pitch black. Even with his eyes open, he saw nothing. His throat and lungs burned, his nose felt congested.

Hotaru jumped onto a nearby shelf and brought over a dry towel, which she dropped onto Ryo's face.

"Trying to... cough... drown me, huh."

As his thoughts slowly returned, Ryo grabbed the towel and wiped his face.

His vision gradually cleared, and he saw Hotaru blinking at him with her big, round eyes.

Seeing that he was awake, Hotaru elegantly swished her tail and walked to his face, licking his cheek with her rough, bristly tongue—warm and comforting.

Ryo lifted her gently with both hands and held her close in his arms.

-------------------------------------

A race.

To Karuizawa Kei, sitting in the taxi at this moment, it felt like she was racing against time.

For the first—or perhaps second—time in her life, she felt overwhelmed by panic and helplessness.

The reason she thought it might be the second time was because this exact feeling had appeared once before in her memories.

Suddenly losing all contact with someone. No signs. No replies to calls or messages.

And the consequence that time was Kitagawa Ryo dropping out of Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing High School—and vanishing from her world.

Now that it was happening again, no matter how hard she tried to reassure herself she was overreacting, her emotions sank deeper and deeper into a cold abyss.

This time, something had definitely happened. She could feel it.

The taxi bumped slightly as it drove, and everything in her mind began to connect.

Subtle emotional slips and movements that Ryo had unintentionally shown over the past two years.

She hadn't thought much of them at the time.

But now, it felt like every detail was a puzzle piece, slowly forming the complete picture before her.

Except the most important piece still seemed to be missing, leaving her restless and almost mad with anxiety.

She suddenly recalled the days after she left Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing High School. After Ryo's withdrawal, she had chosen to drop out as well—without hesitation.

But she never found him again.

She spent nearly all her time riding the city's loop train, sitting by the window, scanning every corner of the city, from dawn to dusk, hoping that familiar figure would appear.

And now again, through the taxi window, she saw hundreds, thousands of people. Some smiling with joy, some crying in sorrow. Some saying goodbye. Others reunited.

Sitting by the rear window, Kei lowered her head slightly and took a deep breath. Her long eyelashes trembled. Pain began in her chest and spread outward. She curled her slender legs onto the seat and buried her face in her knees.

People tend to subconsciously block out their most painful and terrifying memories. Because every time you recall them, it's like reopening a scab with a sharp knife.

That day played like barbed wire in her heart, impossible to remove.

The dazzling drone show.

The rooftop embrace.

The brilliant school nightscape that seemed to bless it all—

All for a confession not even meant for her.

The scenery outside blurred into streaks of light, like her looping thoughts and memories.

But in the end, only one thought remained:

She had to talk to Kitagawa Ryo.

Even if it meant revealing things she had hidden.

Even if she didn't yet know what face to show, what words to say, what tone to use.

She didn't care.

She just wanted to see him.

At the very least... to tell him she liked him.

The taxi stopped near Ryo's home. The right-side door flew open with a loud click from Kei's urgency. Dressed in a deep red stage costume, she quickly stepped out.

She had just been in the middle of a rehearsal, but upon receiving a message from Kushida Kikyo, she immediately took leave from the troupe and rushed over.

After all, outside of school, home, and the theater, Ryo rarely went anywhere else.

As soon as she got out, Kei lifted her long dress and dashed up the stairs in her small leather shoes.

At the door, she took a spare key from her bag—one Ryo had given her long ago. Though usually, she preferred when he opened the door for her.

She swiftly unlocked the door and pushed it open. Having braced herself for the worst, she was stunned to find Ryo lying motionless on the wooden floor—pale, like he had simply fallen asleep.

Kei rushed forward, nearly stumbling. She knelt beside him and pressed her cool hand to his forehead.

"Ryo, what's wrong? Are you sick? Don't scare me."

Feeling his temperature was normal, she exhaled in relief. Just as she was about to carry him to bed, his eyes slowly opened.

That familiar black—deep as a void, never revealing emotion.

"It's nothing... Just feeling a little unwell. Maybe caught a cold. Why are you here, Kei?"

"Ah... I must've forgotten to tell the drama club I was leaving. My phone died. That's all."

His voice was weak. He had just treated the wound on his hand, but maybe his head had been underwater too long—he collapsed and decided to rest there. He hadn't expected Kei to walk in.

"I told you not to push yourself. Were you thinking no one would watch you if I left?"

Seeing he was okay, Kei finally relaxed. Her delicately made-up face softened with a smile full of affection.

Her heart settled—so long as Ryo was safe.

"Want to lie on the bed?"

"No... That blanket you bought is too big and soft—it feels like it's swallowing me. The floor's firmness is just right."

Ryo didn't even have the strength to lift a finger. He muttered his refusal.

"The floor's too cold. I'll lay out a quilt for you."

"Don't be stubborn."

Kei couldn't argue. She followed his lead, amused. For some reason, when talking to him like this, a quiet joy filled her.

"Okay."

Ryo wobbled to his feet. Kei roughly spread the silk comforter across the floor, and he collapsed onto it.

"Kei, I want to sleep a little."

After everything, he was exhausted.

Others might not understand, but he truly feared... that everything around him might still be fake.

That when he opened his eyes again, he'd be back in that suffocating basement.

"Mhm. I'll watch over you."

Kei sat beside him and replied softly.

She took his hand. Hers was smaller—easily slipping into his palm. Fragile like fresh snow, ready to melt.

But warm. Even faintly hot.

His expression, usually blank, finally relaxed slightly in sleep—matching his age. Beneath his fringe, his black eyes closed.

"The cut on my hand... I just scratched it by accident earlier."

Ryo suddenly offered this explanation. Kei nodded and gently murmured an "Mm."

"Don't hurt yourself again. And don't disappear on me."

She seemed like she was about to flick his forehead but ended up lightly tapping his nose.

"I'd be really worried. And... a little angry."

"If you did something stupid, I would be angry. Maybe you'd hate that. Maybe you'd hate me. I'm not perfect either—I make mistakes too. Honestly, I'm not someone who has the right to scold you."

But even so—

"I'll always be with you."

"Yeah. I know."

For the first time, Ryo clearly responded.

If it were only about bringing happiness to Kei, he could do that now.

But he also felt others' feelings.

If he wanted to answer everyone's hearts, he wasn't ready yet.

He gripped Kei's hand tighter. The wound beneath the bandage stung faintly.

In the quiet, he could hear Kei's steady breath and heartbeat.

This was reality.

The confusion, the doubt—they were gone.

The path was clear. Before him lay an endless wilderness.

And that was enough.

All that remained was to follow that path—to reach the future he was always meant to arrive at.

He sank into his thoughts.

[Life Restart Simulator]

[Each simulation will randomly draw five talents. Talents are ranked white, green, blue, purple, and gold. After each simulation ends, the player may choose one talent to retain for the next round.]

[Chapter: Horikita Suzune's Winter Fantasy]

[Beginning first simulation for this chapter.]

[Randomly selecting talents...]

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To Read Advanced Chapters, and support this novel, please join me on [email protected]/geats2000

More Chapters