The restaurant was cozy—dimly lit with soft amber lights hanging from the ceiling, and the quiet hum of jazz playing in the background. Vanessa sat at the small, round table, her fingers absentmindedly tracing the rim of her wine glass. She had to admit, the night felt perfect, but there was something gnawing at her from within.
She glanced over at Joel as he read the menu. His easy smile, the way his eyes lit up when he looked at her—it all made her heart flutter, but there was an unsettling voice in the back of her mind, telling her not to get too comfortable.
Her life had always been a series of walls and quiet separations, not just with the people around her, but also with herself. She'd built up a defense over the years, one that wasn't easily shaken.
And Joel—he was so different. So open. He made her feel seen, heard. Yet, something about his openness felt like a promise she wasn't sure she could keep. What if he left when things got hard? What if he realized she wasn't worth the effort?
"You okay?" Joel's voice broke her out of her thoughts.
She blinked and looked up, meeting his gaze. The concern in his eyes made her heart twist. "Yeah, I'm good," she lied, offering him a smile she hoped would ease any worries he might have.
But he didn't buy it.
"Vanessa, I know something's on your mind," he said gently, setting down the menu. His voice was soft, but the sincerity behind it made her want to curl up and hide. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here."
Her breath hitched in her chest. She had to resist the urge to look away, to shut him out. She didn't know how to explain what was happening inside her. How could she tell him she was terrified of this—of him—and of the idea of trusting someone enough to let them in?
"Joel…" She paused, unsure how to start. Her throat tightened. "I guess it's just… it's hard for me sometimes, you know?" She found herself reaching for her wine glass again, not to drink, but to have something to focus on.
He leaned in slightly, his expression soft and understanding. "I get it. Trust doesn't come easy. But you don't have to be perfect for me. I'm not asking for that."
The words hit her in a way that made her stomach twist, but in a good way. He wasn't asking her to be anything but herself. It sounded simple, yet for Vanessa, it was a monumental thing to hear.
"I'm scared, Joel," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "Scared that if I open up too much, you'll leave. Or that… that I'll get hurt. Again."
He didn't say anything at first. He just sat there, watching her, his eyes calm and steady. She couldn't read him, couldn't figure out what was going through his mind. And that made her even more nervous.
"I'm not going anywhere, Vanessa," he finally said, his voice low but firm. "I'm here for the long haul. But I also know I can't make you trust me overnight. That's something we'll have to build together. No pressure. Just us… and whatever this is."
Vanessa's chest tightened with the enormity of his words. A part of her wanted to believe him, but another part—the part that had been burned too many times—felt like it was too good to be true.
She reached for her napkin and folded it nervously in her hands, unsure of how to respond. Her heart was still racing, her mind spinning. He was giving her an out. He was being patient, understanding—something no one had been before.
But could she let herself believe it?
The waiter came by to take their order, and Vanessa, still processing his words, ordered quickly. She could feel Joel's eyes on her, watching her every move, and it only made the tension in her chest worse. When the waiter left, Joel's gaze softened.
"Hey, it's okay," he said, reaching across the table and gently touching her hand. The simple contact sent a warmth flooding through her, but it was a warmth that made her question herself. Why was it so easy for him? Why couldn't she just let go and trust?
For a moment, she felt like she was drowning in his sincerity. It felt like everything she'd worked so hard to build around herself—this thick, unbreakable wall—was crumbling. But the pieces felt too fragile. She wasn't sure if she was ready to let him in. Not yet.
Vanessa finally looked up at him, her voice hoarse with uncertainty. "What if I can't do this? What if I'm not enough?"
Joel's expression softened, and he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Vanessa, you are more than enough. I'm not here for anyone else but you. I don't want anyone else. Just you."
She swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in her throat. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to be able to let her guard down completely and trust him. But the fear was still there, lingering just beneath the surface.
"I don't know if I can just… let go of the past like that," she whispered, looking down at their hands.
Joel's thumb moved gently across her skin, as if trying to comfort her. "You don't have to. I'm not asking you to forget. I'm just asking you to take one step with me. Just one. That's all."
Vanessa's heart was hammering now. She wanted so desperately to reach out and take that step with him. But the voices of doubt, of past hurt, were louder than her desire to trust.
"Can you do that, Vanessa? Can you take one step with me?" he asked softly.
Her eyes met his. His gaze was patient, kind, waiting for her answer. There was no pressure in his eyes. He wasn't asking for more than she could give. But the fear—her walls—were still there.
Vanessa hesitated, her breath catching in her throat. Just one step. That's all he's asking.
The air between them felt charged, thick with unspoken words and possibilities. And despite the fear, despite the doubt, something inside her pushed her to reach for him. Maybe, just maybe, she could take that first step.
She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves, and whispered, "Okay. One step."
Joel's face broke into the softest of smiles, and Vanessa's heart skipped a beat. Maybe this was the beginning of something real. Something she could trust.