Ethan Vincent was, by his own estimation, a very honourable man.
Even if his Painting Magic had already reached a terrifying height, art still demanded process. Ritual. Respect.
"First," he said aloud, spinning the massive golden warhammer that blazed with holy light, "a masterpiece needs inspiration."
BANG!
The hammer came down like divine judgement. A writhing mass of black tentacles exploded into wet confetti.
Ethan wiped a streak of ichor from his cheek with the back of his hand. "Second, painting takes time. Not weeks, not months. But at least someone has to keep this walking tumour busy while I work."
Across the shattered maze, Lord Voldemort abruptly shuddered, as though a rat had scurried across his grave. He whipped his malformed head around and fixed every rolling, blood-shot eyeball on Ethan.
Something filthy had just looked at him. He was sure of it.
[How pathetic you are,] Voldemort hissed, voice dripping with venom. [I can already see you broken and begging…]
His clay-like face split wider, mouth stretching grotesquely toward his ears, swallowing half his nose in the process.
Plap-plap-plap.
The severed tentacles splattered to the ground, wriggling like blind maggots, then slithered together and rose again, knitting themselves into yet another faceless, screaming humanoid horror.
"These bloody things just won't stay dead!" Mad-Eye Moody snarled. His magical eye whirred frantically as he levelled his wand. A jet of crimson-orange flame roared from the tip.
"Fire! They hate fire, the nasty buggers!"
"Incendio!"
WHOOSH!
A tide of flame rolled across the earth, swallowing the flesh-puppets. They shrieked as they burned, voices disturbingly human.
[Petty tricks,] Voldemort sneered. [But every one of you is too busy saving their own skins to help you.]
He had already spent most of his Death Eaters like cheap fireworks, but it hardly mattered. With this new body, this glorious mountain of meat and malice, he no longer needed those snivelling failures.
[Ethan Vincent! You stand alone! No one is coming for you!]
[You will watch me tear everything you love apart, piece by screaming piece!!]
Dozens of eyes rolled in wet sockets, all fixating on the distant silhouette of Hogwarts Castle perched atop its cliff, windows glittering like jewels.
[Corrode… possess… I'll mount your handsome little head on the Astronomy Tower and kiss it good-morning every day!]
Beast-hunger had devoured whatever remained of Tom Riddle.
Then Ethan's gaze flicked sideways. The corner of his mouth curled, slow, wicked, and fond.
"Isolated and helpless, am I?" he called, voice bright with mockery. "Funny. Your new eye collection must all be decorative."
At that exact moment the night sky tore open.
A cascade of silver-white moonlight poured down like liquid starfire, and within it a perfect full moon, impossibly huge, descended with serene grace until it hovered directly above Voldemort.
BOOM—!!!
The impact was apocalyptic. A ring of argent force exploded outward, vaporising stone, hedge, and flesh alike. Fully a third of Voldemort's titanic body simply ceased to exist, leaving a smoking crater.
[IIIIIII—!!]
The Dark Lord's scream was no longer human.
Blood rained in sheets.
From the newly carved canyon in the maze stepped "Loony" Luna Lovegood, wand raised, long pale hair whipping in the wind of her own spell. Starlight danced across her skin like living constellations.
Her dreamy blue eyes found Ethan suspended in the air.
She pouted. "You went to play without me again."
A second later her face broke into the sunniest smile imaginable. "But I found you anyway~"
Ethan felt something warm unfurl behind his ribs. He shook his head, helpless and adoring. "There's really no stopping you, is there?"
"Hmph hmph~"
For one heartbeat the battle fell silent, just the two of them smiling at each other while the world burned.
Voldemort, lone wolf no longer invited to the pack: [————]
The agony of being ignored hurt worse than the moon-blast.
[FOOLISH GIRL! YOU THREW YOUR LIFE AWAY—]
Tentacles thicker than tree trunks lashed toward them, eager to turn the pair into kebabs.
"We're here too!"
A dozen figures burst from the shattered hedges behind Luna, wands flashing in disciplined unison. Spells cracked like gunfire, severing, burning, blasting the tentacles into sizzling chunks.
The Aurors watching from the perimeter gaped.
"Are these kids insane?! The professors sealed the maze for a reason!"
Moody barked a proud, piratical laugh. "That's my girls and boys! Proper Gryffindor stupidity and Ravenclaw planning in one package!"
An older Auror muttered, "Upper beam's crooked as hell, that's why the lower one's bent."
Another snorted. "Hogwarts has gone properly feral since my day. Maybe Dumbledore should retire and let the students run the damn war."
Voldemort, now bleeding from places he didn't know he had, stared at the swarm of teenagers actually hurting him and felt something perilously close to embarrassment.
[These—are these the reinforcements you boast of, Ethan Vincent?! Laughable—]
The ground trembled.
Something colossal rose behind the students, dwarfing even Voldemort's remaining bulk. Golden armour gleamed beneath a crimson mantle. A heart-shaped sceptre the size of a siege tower slammed into the earth with a gong-like clang.
A voice, young yet regal, thundered over the battlefield:
[This is MY domain! You are being extremely rude!!]
[Off with your heads!!]
Ariana Dumbledore, the Queen of Hearts, had entered the chat.
Thorns the width of railway sleepers detonated from the soil, twisting into guillotine blades that whirred and sliced in every direction. Blood fountained like champagne.
[The Curse of the Rose-Thorn Maze has been invoked!] the Queen proclaimed. [Any hostile entity within these walls falls under my royal jurisdiction. Execution is authorised.]
Ethan blinked, genuinely surprised. "Huh. Even I never triggered that one."
He glanced at the towering monarch in her playing-card finery and murmured, "As expected of Dumbledore's little sister. Absolutely metal."
[GRAAAAAAAHHH—!!]
Voldemort was now being julienned alive.
A cerulean stag the size of an elephant thundered past, antlers spearing flesh-monsters and tossing them like rag dolls. Flames blossomed. Roses the colour of arterial blood bloomed across the thorns, drinking deep.
Somewhere above, the Weasley twins whooped as they lobbed experimental fireworks that screamed "WOOHOO!" before detonating in glitter and hellfire.
It was no longer a battle.
It was a circus run by homicidal artists.
Ethan's eyes gleamed. "Perfect chaos. Exactly the distraction I needed."
While Voldemort flailed, half his remaining heads trying to comprehend the concept of a giant Queen made of playing cards, Ethan slipped backward through the melee.
Auror and student alike shifted without a word, forming a living shield around him. Card soldiers clacked into ranks, building a wall of painted steel and hearts.
A small, sacred circle opened in the heart of Armageddon.
Ethan rolled his shoulders, flexed his fingers, and smiled the smile that made sane people lock their doors.
"I promised you lot a miracle," he said softly. "Time to deliver."
Inspiration had struck the moment he saw Luna beneath that falling moon.
He flicked his wrist. A pristine canvas unfurled in mid-air, hovering like an obedient ghost.
Ethan lifted an imaginary brush, grinned like a devil who'd just discovered dad jokes, and announced to no one and everyone:
"I'm going to paint a masterpiece titled The Sky Falls."
He paused theatrically.
"Try not to blink. It's going to be very pretty. And very, very terminal."
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