Today, I woke up feeling like the main character.
No, actually—scratch that.
Today, I was the main character.
Even if, technically, my role only had two lines.
And even if, technically, I was about to get slapped twice on national television.
But still. A line is a line, a check is a check, and honey, a camera close-up is still a close-up no matter how much highlighter i pack onto my cheekbones.
I did my own glam today.
Yes, me! Foundation so thick you could probably peel it off like a sticker.
Lashes so long I could fly away with a strong gust of air.
Hair? Slicked into a perfect low ponytail with my fake baby hairs laid like they signed a lease on my forehead.
I looked expensive for someone playing "Poor Girl."
And for the record?
Only my character gets slapped with a double.
Yes, you heard that right. Me. A starlet with a stunt double.
How iconic is that?
They tried to make me do it myself during rehearsal and I was like—
"Um, I'm sorry? No one touches the face unless they're Cairo and we're in love. Next question."
The production assistant blinked twice like she didn't understand English. I just sipped my iced caramel latte through a paper straw like the environmentally responsible diva that i am.
Then Nadine came in.
Yes, that Nadine.
The lead of the teleserye.
The one who got the role i originally auditioned for except I "lacked the depth" or whatever that means when i clearly had the better brows.
She entered the room with a silent storm aura—glasses on, no makeup yet, holding her script like it owed her money. Her assistant followed carrying a Venti Starbucks and what i assume was her emotional support ring light.
And i swear she looked at me.
Not like a hello kind of look.
More like a who let the influencer in? kind of look.
I just smiled at her with full teeth and an "I-don't-need-your-approval" shrug. Nadine wasn't ready for my Level 10 confidence.
I mean, I already had a double for the slap scene, so technically i was above her in hazard pay.
The taping started late, obviously.
It always does.
Showbiz time is real.
I sat on set waiting for my turn, sipping another iced coffee (number three, don't judge) while silently manifesting a skincare sponsorship.
Then came the slap scene.
Lights. Camera. Drama.
Nadine walks in. I'm clutching the script like it's a tragic letter from a cheating ex.
Her line: "Pati ikaw, pinagkatiwalaan kita!"
My line: "Hindi ko—hindi ko naman sinasadya..."
And then—SLAP!
Except it didn't land on me, of course. It landed on my double, a very brave stunt girl named Maricar wearing my exact outfit and wig.
Thank you, Maricar.
You are the face, the cheek, the hero.
But after the first take, Nadine—sweet, beautiful, intense Nadine—asked the director something.
"Direk, can I slap Elara once? For real reaction?"
UM.
Excuse me?
I looked at her. I blinked at her.
I even looked at the director hoping he'd laugh and say something like, "Oh, what a nice joke!"
But he didn't laugh. He said, "Okay, 1 take only!"
WHAAAT?
I clutched my script.
I adjusted my wig like it was a helmet and i was going to war.
I leaned in to the assistant director and whispered, "Is this legal? Like... in labor code?"
He ignored me.
Anyway, we did the take.
And yes, she slapped me.
Lightly. Dramatically. Painfully accurate.
But do you know what i did? I delivered the line with tears in my eyes, a quiver in my voice, and enough pain to win a Gawad Urian.
After the cut, even the crew clapped. Someone even whispered, "She's good?"
I pretended not to hear it, but of course i heard it. I live for that.
The scene ended, I wiped the imaginary tears off my cheeks, and i strutted out of the studio like i hadn't just been emotionally violated for the sake of art.
And then—
Then i saw him.
Cairo.
Leaning against a black sports car like he just walked out of a K-drama.
His arms crossed. Sunglasses on. That casual-but-deadly aura of "I race cars and ruin hearts."
My ovaries somersaulted.
I waved at him, all flirty and cute.
He waved back.
And then Nadine ran up to him.
Like, ran.
Like, slow-mo-hugged-him-from-behind type of ran.
WHAT.
THE. ACTUAL. F.
Before i could even blink twice, they were both inside his car.
My jaw dropped.
He drove away.
She was in the passenger seat.
Probably touching the A/C or the aux cord or—OH MY GOD what if she touched his leg while laughing?
I was spiraling.
I needed backup.
So i called Ari.
Because who else do you call when your raceboy crush drives away with your archrival?
Ari showed up in twenty minutes wearing a pink tracksuit and a full face of makeup, holding a matcha latte and emotional support banana bread.
We met at our usual café.
I was already there, dramatically staring into my untouched iced coffee like i was the one who got slapped on camera, well i did and in real life.
"I'm not okay," I told him the moment he sat down.
"What happened now?" he asked, placing his stuff on the table like he was ready for a long session.
"He left with Nadine," I said.
His eyebrows shot up. "Who? Cairo?"
"Yes! I finished taping and i saw him leaning against his car like a Dior model and i waved and he waved and I thought it was a moment—until Nadine jumped into the scene like a twist no one asked for!"
"Ew," Ari said, sipping his matcha. "Like, jumped jumped?"
"YES. Full jump. Koala hug. Like she had rights."
"Did you confront him?"
I was still mid-sentence when the barista at the café gave me the saddest excuse for a matcha latte i've ever seen in my entire existence. No foam. No drama. No heart-shaped milk art.
"Ma'am, this is not the emotional support beverage i ordered," I said, wide-eyed as i looked down at the cup like it had personally betrayed me.
Ari burst out laughing, flicking his straw at me. "You're literally crying over matcha while your almost-boyfriend is probably making out with someone in a convertible."
"Don't say convertible. That makes it sound sexier."
We were seated at a corner booth by the window, a perfect spot for both caffeine-fueled ranting and accidental stalking. You know, priorities.
I stirred my sad latte, then sighed like i was in a teleserye directed by Cathy Garcia-Molina.
"Ari, what if i'm the side character in his life? Like, I'm just a filler episode. What if Nadine is the season finale?"
"Girl, you're the whole franchise," he deadpanned, sipping his overpriced milk tea. "Nadine is a filler tweet. You're a 3-hour block screening."
I laughed-snorted. "Stop hyping me up like this, I might propose to you."
Then it happened.
We both went silent.
Because there they were.
Across the street.
Cairo and Nadine.
Laughing. Holding drinks.
Walking toward the parking area like they just finished filming the closing scene of a romcom.
My soul left my body.
I grabbed Ari's hand so tightly he dropped his phone. "OH MY GOSH, IS THAT THEM? IS THAT CAIRO—AND SHE'S—SHE'S TOUCHING HIS ARM."
He peeked over the top of his sunglasses. "She's clinging like a leech, girl."
I nearly crawled under the table. "Is this what heartbreak tastes like? Because this matcha is really bitter."
Ari squinted. "Do you think they're dating? Or maybe she's just trying to seduce him with her lead actress privileges?"
"Ugh! I bet she offered him her trailer and was like, 'Want to run lines together, Cai?'" I mimicked her voice with extra nasal flair.
Ari blinked. "Did you just say Cai?"
I froze. "Yes. Because she called him Cai. That's our thing. She doesn't even have the right!"
Ari leaned in like he was about to deliver an ancient piece of gossip. "Girl, you're not gonna like this but… I stalked her earlier."
"You what?"
"She has a fanpage and guess what? She's been commenting '#MyCaiMyLove' under his posts for months."
I nearly dropped my sad latte. "NO. She's trying to claim the nickname? No. No, no, no. That's sacred territory. That's our flirty battlefield."
And like any emotionally stable woman, I stood up.
Ari blinked up at me. "What are you doing?"
I flipped my hair. "I'm going to reclaim my power."
"You mean crash their moment?"
"Observe their moment. And sabotage silently if necessary."
We crept out of the coffee shop like spies from a failed K-drama.
I tiptoed across the street in heels i had no business wearing on pavement.
Meanwhile, Ari had his phone out like he was filming a reality show.
We trailed behind them, ducking behind cars, pretending to admire potted plants like we were garden critics.
They stopped beside Cairo's car.
She laughed again—too loud, too extra. Her hand touched his bicep.
And then.
Then.
She leaned in.
"No," I whispered. "Not the cheek kiss. Don't do the cheek kiss. I will pass away."
But instead of a kiss, Cairo turned, said something, and handed her a helmet.
Wait.
A helmet?
OH MY GOD. THEY'RE GOING MOTORBIKING?!
"They're escaping!" I whispered like we were in a heist movie.
"You say that like he's a fugitive and she's not just hitching a ride."
"I am the one who should be hitching!" I whispered, clutching Ari's arm. "I'm the one who should be wind-in-the-hair-ing behind him! Me!"
Before i could spiral any further, Cairo suddenly looked around.
My soul physically jumped.
"DUCK!" I screamed, yanking Ari down behind a bush.
We both crouched like deranged gnomes while Nadine mounted the back of his bike like she was auditioning for Fast and the Furious: Kawawa Ka Elara Edition.
As they sped off, I sank to the concrete like a melting sundae. "Ari, I think i'm heartbroken."
Ari sat beside me and patted my shoulder. "Don't worry. You're too pretty to be sad for long."
"Do you think he even likes me?" I whispered.
"Sweetie, he game you his shoes at the basketball court and he evem help you when your dramatic entrance in hallway last time."
"Yeah but he also let Nadine touch his bicep. That's… intimate."
We sat there in silence for a second.
Just then, my phone buzzed.
It was a message from Cairo.
[CAIRO]: Hey. Were you at the coffee shop just now? Thought i saw you.
I shrieked.
He saw me.
HE. SAW. ME.
I typed back in full denial mode:
[ME]: What? Me? Coffee? Never. I was home. Praying.
[CAIRO]: Huh. Maybe i imagined it. You okay?
Okay now i feel guilty.
Should i confess i was lowkey stalking? Or pretend to be a wholesome mystery?
I stared at Ari.
He stared back.
"You're gonna lie, aren't you?"he asked.
"Absolutely."