CHAPTER 7: Your Highness, I'm Already Married
Scene: Yu-Riella's House, Market District
A cozy, chaotic home. Noona's been here for weeks.
Yu-Riella treats her like a queen.
Her husband—Disaster Mustache—bows so often Noona suspects he thinks she's actual royalty.
He called himself "Tong Li-Fat", a self-declared master of an ancient martial art he clearly invented on the spot.
Short, chubby, and always dressed like a kung-fu movie exploded on him, he wore a mustache so tragically styled, it looked like two overcooked noodles glued to his cheeks—with a perfectly shaved gap right under his nose like a dental commercial gone wrong.
Sometimes, while Noona sipped tea, he'd somersault across the yard and shout:
> "The chi flows when the soup is ready!"
Then Yu-Riella would whack him with a broom.
He'd smile wider every time.
---
The Guilt of the Guest
Noona helps around the house—cooking, cleaning, organizing—but deep down, she feels the itch.
She's never been the type to freeload.
> "I didn't survive life with a metalhead just to sit around sipping tea," she muttered, folding laundry with surgical precision.
---
The Job Hunt Begins
Problem: Her resume doesn't work here.
Solution: Become a merchant? Open a skincare stall?
Yu-Riella was thrilled.
> "Yes! We'll sell miracle serums! I'll do the yelling! You just sit there and look flawless!"
It could've worked.
But then came the nobles.
---
The Marriage Offers Begin
Some were lords.
Some were sons of dukes.
One claimed to be an orcish prince with a flying chariot.
Noona, without flinching, always said:
> "I'm already married."
They never believed her.
So she'd roast them.
---
Roast Montage:
Noble 1:
> "Surely you jest, a beauty like you cannot be taken."
Noona:
> "You're right. I'm taken seriously. Unlike you."
—
Noble 2:
> "What does he have that I don't?"
Noona:
> "A job. A jawline. A soul."
—
Royal Advisor:
> "Think carefully, Lady Noona. Marrying into royalty—"
Noona:
> "Would mean I have to speak to you every day. No thanks."
—
Baron's Son (crying):
> "You… you're so mean!"
Noona (calmly):
> "I'm kind. You're just fragile."
---
Cult Following Status: Unlocked
Yu-Riella secretly collected these quotes like scriptures.
She even embroidered one on a pillow:
> "Already married. To someone better."
---
How People See Her Now:
Commoners: "Mysterious lady with skin of silk and tongue of steel."
Merchants: "She can raise prices with just a stare."
Nobles: "DO NOT APPROACH. BRING OFFERINGS OR REGRET LIFE."
Some call her The Porcelain Widow.
Others call her Queen of the Verbal Guillotine.
Only Yu-Riella knows the truth:
> "She's taken, and she's terrifying."
And somewhere, in the background, Tong Li-Fat shadowboxed an invisible enemy while screaming:
> "Technique #37: Spinning Wonton Whirlwind!"
Yu-Riella hit him with a teacup.
He rolled across the floor, groaning: "Worthy… opponent…"
---
[TO BE CONTINUED]
— Author's Note — Yes, she's married. Yes, she's immune to cringe flirt attempts. Yes, she could have ended this story with one stomp if she felt like it.
Also, Tong Li-Fat is the final boss of husband-tier delusion. Bless him.
– H. Behevras
—
© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road
Do not repost without permission.