They went back to Bairan's room. At first, there was only silence. Bairan looked at them one by one. Rouyu and Bao'er's eyes were reddened, full of despair. They were so young. Seeing them made Bairan's heart ache, but there was nothing she could do. The real Ruolan was never coming back. Avenging her death was the only thing she could do for her and for those who had truly loved her.
When she looked at the last face in the room, Bairan noticed something different. This maid's gaze was not the same as the others. She was watching Bairan carefully, as if she wanted to make sure this was really her Young Miss. Was it out of concern—or was it something else?
Bairan smiled faintly, then turned her eyes back to Rouyu. She pointed at a chair. "Come, take a seat."
Rouyu and Bao'er glanced around the room.
It was simple—just an inn's chamber, nothing like Ruolan's courtyard and elegant quarters. A small table with a teapot, two chairs, a folded screen in the corner, and her bedding neatly laid on the wooden bedframe. They weren't a noble family, but since childhood, she was the lucky star of the family; her mother loved her so much, giving her the best of everything she wanted, and she had never lacked anything.
Bao'er's eyes instantly filled with tears. She looked around, then turned to Bairan. "Young Miss… all this time, is this where you've been living? How could you endure such hardship alone?" Her voice cracked, and before Bairan could answer, she fell to her knees.
"Please forgive this servant! Bao'er failed to protect you. If only I hadn't been such a deep sleeper…" She wept bitterly, clutching the hem of Bairan's dress.
Bairan's eyes drifted to the room again. It isn't that bad, she thought. Better than the cave… and besides, I don't even pay for it. Master Pei did.
But the last part of Bao'er's words caught her attention. Slowly, she pulled Bao'er up, her gaze shifting between her and Rouyu. Then she spoke softly:
"How can I say whether living here is a hardship for me or not… when I don't even know how I lived before?" Her eyes fell back on Bao'er's tearful face. "And how can I blame you for something I don't even remember?"
Letting go of the girl's hand, Bairan sank into one of the chairs. Her gaze wandered to the side window. The world outside was bright and clear; a shining ray of light came through the window, yet inside her, there were so many questions she needed answered.
She spoke again, her voice low and tinged with sadness. "If you are truly my family…" She turned her eyes back to them, a faint redness gathering at their corners. "…then please, help me remember who I was."
Rouyu's lips trembled. She lowered her gaze, her fingers twisting together nervously. "Ruolan-jie… you… You really don't remember us?"
Bao'er's tears spilt over again. She grabbed Bairan's sleeve as if urging her to speak. "Miss, what happened to you? Why don't you remember us?" Her voice broke, her head bowing as she sobbed.
Bao'er sobbed nonstop. Seeing her young miss in this situation was unbearable for her. She was the daughter of Bairan's wet nurse; from the day she opened her eyes, she had lived in the Lin family's courtyard. Her young miss was the only person she had ever served. She turned to look at Qing'er, who stood quietly beside her. Qing'er hadn't spoken a word since they found her young miss — perhaps she was still in shock. Bao'er, though.
Bairan smiled sadly, then invited Rouyu again to sit down.
Rouyu hesitated for a moment, then sat.
Bairan poured her a cup of tea before she spoke.
"I don't know what happened to me before… But three days ago, I woke up in a cave and was rescued by Master Pei. They said I may have fallen off the cliff and lost my memory because of that accident. He brought me here, I hope that my family can find me or I may remember them, but since then, I haven't remembered anything, not my name, nor anything about my family."
Her gaze softened as she looked at them.
"Please tell me… are you truly my family?"
Rouyu's eyes reddened again. She reached out and gently held Bairan's hand, nodding as she said,
"Of course, we are your family… You've suffered too much, sister."
At her words, Bao'er could no longer hold back her tears. She knelt down again, clutching the hem of Bairan's sleeve.
"You are our Young Miss. No matter what happened, we'll stay by your side."
This time, Qing'er knelt down as well. Her voice was steadier than Bao'er's, but there was a faint trace of bitterness in it.
"Miss, Qing'er failed to protect and serve you well. You didn't bring us with you when you left by yourself… It was all our fault. We couldn't have been good enough."
Bairan raised one eyebrow in surprise. "Left by yourself?" So Ruolan had left home alone?
Bao'er quickly interjected, "Qing'er, what are you saying—"
But Qing'er sobbed immediately, her voice trembling. "Isn't it true? If our Miss had trusted us, she wouldn't have gone that night alone. Without bringing any of us."
After that Qing'er bit her lip, refusing to say further, but her sorrowful eyes remained fixed on Bairan.
Bairan's brows furrowed. She murmured under her breath, though loud enough for the three in the room to hear clearly,
"Left home… by myself? Without anyone… but why?"
Her grip on Rouyu's hand tightened. She turned to her with eyes that carried both confusion and pain.
"You're my sister. Tell me the truth—why did I leave home alone, not even bringing my maids with me? Was I making a mistake, or troubling others? Was I… a bad person?"
Rouyu's hand trembled.
Bao'er cried out, "No miss, you're not—"
Rouyu looked at Bairan, then at the maids. She hesitated, "You two wait outside."
Bao'er protested, "But—"
She was unwilling but, realising there might be a reason her young Miss had left home, and Miss Rouyu knew about it. Reluctantly, she stood.
Qing'er was unwilling too, but in the end, both girls had no choice but to leave. The door closed behind them.
Rouyu looked at Bairan and their tangled hands.Her eyes brimmed with tears as she remembered Bairan's painful question. She shook her head and held Bairan's hand tighter.
"No, Roulan-jie! How could you be a bad person? You've always been the kindest sister. Even though we didn't share the same mother, and I was only a concubine's daughter, you never treated me differently. You always protected me."
Her voice trembled as she went on, "That night… You left because of what I told you. I overheard Madam Luo speaking with Roumai about ending your engagement with your fiancé, and I couldn't bear it. I was foolish and told you everything right away. You didn't believe me because I had no proof—you said you would ask Mister Lu by yourself. But a few nights later, you disappeared… they said you ran away with someone, and I don't believe that… I thought it was because of me."
Ruoyu covered her face with both hands, sobbing softly.
"If I hadn't told you, maybe you wouldn't have left home… it was all my fault."