Blondie didn't even get to blink before he froze solid—locked in place like an oversized ice cube in Ganyu's personal drink.
"Master?" Xu Zheng called softly.
"I'm here, little Xu Zheng," Ganyu replied.
Her voice snapped back like she'd just reconnected to the server after lagging out. The floating Ice Lotuses vanished in a shimmer of blue light.
On the outside, she tried to look calm.
On the inside?
Panic. Total panic.
Why the hell had she gotten so mad? She didn't know. She just… lost it.
Maybe it was Blondie. Maybe it was the old lady. Maybe it was watching someone threaten Xu Zheng within a ten-meter radius.
Xu Zheng ran over and held Ganyu's hand with his tiny, chubby fingers. He turned to the old granny.
"Now you can speak freely," he said heroically. "My master will make sure justice is served!"
Ganyu's mind, which had been spiraling into 'Did I just violate Liyue labor law with ice magic?!' mode, calmed instantly.
Something about that small hand anchoring hers—soothing.
She softened.
"Yes," Ganyu said gently. "I'm an official from Liyue Qixing. You can tell me everything."
The granny looked at the three human popsicles on the ground. Her eyes flickered with conflicting emotions—relief, guilt, and maybe a pinch of petty satisfaction.
"Are you really allowed to handle this?" she asked cautiously.
Xu Zheng nodded like a bobblehead. "My master is super amazing."
Ganyu flushed slightly, brushing Xu Zheng's hair with her fingers in a 'stop embarrassing me in front of civilians' kind of way.
The old woman took a breath and finally spoke.
Apparently, Blondie ran a theater downtown that was doing quite well. A few days ago, he bought a bunch of watermelons from her.
The next day, he came back screaming food poisoning.
Granny swore her melons were top-notch. Still, she went to check—and sure enough, there was a man lying in bed, looking weak, with a so-called "doctor" holding a suspiciously convenient medical report.
The report said: Cause of illness – food poisoning.
Before Granny could argue, she backed up a step in disbelief—then crash.
She turned around to find ceramic shards on the floor.
Cue Blondie and crew wailing that she had shattered a priceless antique vase. One they claimed belonged to the Geo Archon himself.
And of course, they wanted compensation.
She brought out every coin she owned—even her burial savings—but it still wasn't enough.
Since then, the thugs had been showing up daily for "installments."
Xu Zheng's brow twitched.
Theatrics, fake poisonings, fake vases, and extortion? He'd seen this scam in another life.
"They're clearly running a con," Xu Zheng muttered. "The 'sick' guy? Faking. The vase? Definitely fake. Their faces? Punchable."
He turned to the granny. "Don't worry. I know someone who's great with legal stuff."
"Oh? Really?"
"She's fierce, she's fair, and she'll sue their asses to Celestia," Xu Zheng declared. "Name's Yanfei."
Granny's hands trembled as she grabbed his. "Thank you, little hero… thank you…"
Now it was Xu Zheng's turn to get flustered under the weight of grandma gratitude.
Later, back at Wanmin Restaurant…
Both Ganyu and Xiangling were carrying massive watermelons in their arms—each one the size of four Slimes duct-taped together.
The old woman had insisted they take some as thanks. Refused payment.
As for the trio of frozen delinquents?
It was noon. The sun would handle them. Ganyu's Cryo wasn't just snowball-tier—it was slow-thaw, hyper-condensed glacier-tier. They'd be lucky to melt by midnight.
Inside, Ganyu flipped through a menu and glanced at Xu Zheng.
"What do you feel like eating today?" she asked.
More and more lately, she found herself deferring to him on these small decisions.
Xiangling peeked over too, mentally compiling a list of potential dishes to impress their resident baby emperor.
Xu Zheng clapped his hands.
"Today, you won't need to cook," he announced. "Because I, your big brother, will handle dinner!"
Ganyu chuckled, booping his forehead with a finger. "Big brother, huh?"
Xiangling raised an eyebrow. "Wait—you're cooking?"
Look, she wasn't judging… but he looked like a five-year-old who could barely see over the counter.
Still… he had made that milk tea and ice cream the other day…
She narrowed her eyes. "Alright, I'll allow it. But I'm watching."
Xu Zheng rolled up his imaginary sleeves.
What they didn't know was, he'd recently drawn a cooking-related stat buff.
[White Item Acquired: Cooking +1]
Combined with his Earth memories and a few Gordon Ramsay YouTube shorts still rattling around in his head… he was ready.
Xiangling led him into the kitchen. No way she'd let him solo this. She was going to supervise, assist, and maybe—just maybe—sabotage him a little if he got cocky.
"Xiangling, pass the deep sea salt."
"Okay."
"Xiangling, slice this vegetable."
"Fine."
"Xiangling—"
"…Seriously?" she muttered.
She narrowed her eyes at him.
Even my own dad doesn't boss me around like this… and he's a chef too.
You're lucky I'm still holding back, little brat.
She folded her arms but couldn't stop herself from peeking at his every move.
Xu Zheng's technique was… clumsy at first. Definitely rookie-tier. His knife skills were meh, and his chopping rhythm was more "playing Fruit Ninja" than "culinary arts."
But then—
He improved.
Fast.
Like, weirdly fast.
By the time the third dish was underway, he moved with smooth confidence. The ingredients danced under his hands. Aromas filled the kitchen.
Xiangling's competitive instincts kicked in.
This kid… could he actually be a prodigy?
A short while later, dinner was served: a small spread of steaming-hot, freshly-cooked dishes. A bowl of warm congee. Each plate gleaming with just the right sheen of oil, spice, and soul.
Xu Zheng folded his arms proudly.
"Alright. Taste test."
The girls took their seats.
They picked up their chopsticks.
A moment of silence.
Then—bite.
Then—eyes widening.
Then—
Well…
some people cook… but don't completely cook like a kid.
And Xu Zheng?
He just might be onto something.
Some people died, but not completely...