"Master, I'm so jealous of you!" Xu Zheng blurted out.
The ahoge on Ganyu's head curled into a question mark. Confused.
"Look at you," he continued, "you have that feather your master gave you. I don't have anything."
Hearing the pitiful tone in his voice, Ganyu immediately replied, "Tomorrow, we'll ask Cloud Retainer to give you one too. I'm sure she'll agree."
Xu Zheng shook his head. That wasn't what he meant.
"Well... I suppose I could give you mine..." Ganyu offered hesitantly.
Another shake of the head. "No, Master, I mean... I want a feather from my master."
Ah.
Ganyu finally understood.
This little brat wanted one of her feathers.
Come to think of it... she did have a feather from her master. But Xu Zheng didn't.
Which made it look like she was a bad master or something.
Ugh!
Panic bloomed on Ganyu's face as she started seriously wondering where the hell she was supposed to find him a feather.
Technically, she was a hybrid—part human, part qilin—with the horn and everything, but she wasn't full-blooded, so she couldn't just pluck feathers out of herself like Cloud Retainer could.
"I'm such a failure of a teacher..." Ganyu collapsed onto the floor, distressed.
She even began considering whether she should cut a chunk of her hair and ask Cloud Retainer to mold it into a feather shape.
While she was spiraling into hair-based feather crafting, Xu Zheng casually walked up and grabbed her horn.
"Mm!" Ganyu immediately felt it.
Her horns were like nerve endings—super sensitive.
And being held by Xu Zheng? That just made it ten times worse.
"Hehehe." Xu Zheng had been dying to grab those horns for days.
Sure, he could sneak in at night and fondle them while she slept, but where was the thrill in that?
No, real men grab horns in broad daylight—while making eye contact.
Ganyu's face turned scarlet. She muttered, "You can hold them... but just for a little while."
Xu Zheng, one hand clamped on her horn, used the other to open his system panel.
Still had one more free pull on the gacha.
It was probably just gonna be another 3-star, but hey—everyone has a little gambler in them.
"Confirm draw."
A brilliant flash of purple lit up the screen.
"Holy sh*t!"
He didn't have the vocabulary to express himself properly, so "holy sh*t" would have to do.
Let's gooo!
Two purple draws in a row! Xu Zheng started mentally reviewing what he'd done both times to trigger the luck.
Back on Earth, people used all kinds of rituals before gacha pulls—standing on a statue, hopping into someone else's world, sacrificing a chicken, whatever.
Xu Zheng had his own rituals.
Last time, he'd chugged a coconut milk.
This time, he was gripping Ganyu's horns.
The common factor: Ganyu.
Too bad he was out of Primogems. He would've tried a third pull while double-fisting those horns.
[Item: Language Talent Potion]
[Rarity: Purple]
[Description: Enhances language sensitivity and slightly improves memory.]
[Note 1: You know that feeling when you ace every subject except foreign languages? Yeah. That one.]
[Note 2: Developed by a furious exam flunkee who gave up on trying and went home to inherit the family alchemy business. (According to the autobiography of Mario, 75th heir of the Potion Dynasty.)]
Xu Zheng skipped the weird notes and focused on the good stuff.
Drink this, and you'd turn into a language genius. Not exactly photographic memory, but if you read something 3–4 times, you'd probably remember it.
He clicked "Claim." A small bottle appeared in his hand.
With Ganyu still in her horn-induced trance, Xu Zheng gulped it down.
No sparkles, no dramatic transformation. Thank the Archons.
At least he wouldn't have to explain why he suddenly started glowing.
But... oh.
Suddenly he felt very, very sleepy.
Probably a side effect.
"Master, I'm tired. I'm gonna crash."
"Okay. Goodnight, Little Xu Zheng."
And as he dozed off, a system notification whispered through his dreams:
[Your Personal Archon Quest has updated. Progress available in system menu.]
The Next Morning
Xu Zheng woke up groggy. Still a bit dazed.
Weirdly, Ganyu was still asleep.
First things first: check the system.
He hadn't even looked at the rest of his pulls from last night.
Four white-tier items total.
First one:
[Random Stat Point +1]
He'd gotten this one before. This time it went to Strength.
Second item:
Same thing, but it landed on Mental Fortitude.
Nice! First time hitting that stat.
Third one:
Another random point...
[Tiny Xu Zheng's Attack Speed +1]
"???"
When I use a question mark, it's not because I don't understand—you're the one making no sense.
What the hell is "Tiny Xu Zheng's Attack Speed"?
Who's "Tiny Xu Zheng"?! Him... but smaller?
Baffled but intrigued, he moved on.
Fourth item:
[Item: Kamera]
[Rarity: White]
[Description: Captures current scenery. Handy for travelers.]
[Note: You're probably wondering why it's 3-star and not 4-star. Now you're curious, aren't you?]
In Genshin, the Kamera was technically a 4-star gadget.
Xu Zheng hadn't been wondering why until the damn note said it.
Now he was curious.
"Probably because it doesn't do anything except take pictures," he mumbled, brushing the curiosity under the rug.
He pulled it out. Click.
One perfectly embarrassing photo of Ganyu's adorable sleeping face, captured forever.
Somewhere Else…
Inside a private booth, Blondie was visibly panicking.
"Boss, what do we do now?!"
Ever since Xu Zheng pulled that stunt with the coffins—blocking their base and terrifying half their crew—most of their hired gossip spreaders had bailed.
Because newsflash: money's great, but not when you're dead.
Even Blondie had nearly been sent off last time.
Now, all of Liyue's streets were whispering about the guy who carried a coffin with one hand and descended from the sky like a funeral archangel.
Story kept getting crazier with every retelling.
But two things always stayed the same:
Xu Zheng = hero.
Blondie = funeral guest.
Blondie hadn't dared leave his house for days.
Fat cat merchant Chayevich sighed beside him.
"We really underestimated Xu Zheng. Only one solution left—dump more money into this. Maybe we can hire people to fake being Snezhnayan agents."