Agate gasped for breath as he woke up, his body completely drenched in sweat. He grasped his head as the scene repeated back and forth, on a loop, as if he was still present on that day. Even after waking up from his nightmare, he could not get out of his muddled state, his breathing quickening so fast to make him feel he was being choked.
There were all the what-if scenarios running in his head back and forth. What if he had never met that doctor? What if he had chosen not to believe the frail lie of the all-healing medicine?? What if he had not given the medicine to his mother? What if...
His head was in pain as the countless bits of suppressed past memories kept coming back, making him dizzy.
Even after a long time, he was still in a daze, now much calmer, but the guilt and immense sorrow in his heart, he could only bite it down, and not choke on it. Finally gaining some clarity, he thought back on the bizarre vision he had. Was it real or fake? He could not tell. But if it was real, then he may have found some of the reasons why he always felt weird about his own actions in the past.
Cause looking back now, he does not even remember his motivation for chasing so relentlessly after Tansy. Was he in love with her? He definitely believed so, but was it just that? Even he could not explain all of his actions, or what his mindset at that time was, so now more of the whys were jumping around in his head.
Then he remembered Niel's grandma's words, that he would get something important on the return journey, was it this? Does the thread represent control? Of what? Why? Who is controlling all of them? And the faceless people around them, were they always by their side? He had a vague impression of them as if they were familiar people; one thing was certain, they were the servants of the house. So, did they never have a face, a name, an identity? Why did no one ever notice this strangeness?
All he could think of were those questions on questions, and he knew that for the answers, he had to look for similar formations; maybe there were more of them in this town.
Remembering the vague suggestion of Niel's grandma, he decided to look for her house first, as he stood up from the hard ground he was kneeling on, his legs fumbled for a bit out of weakness.
At his own condition, he scoffed helplessly, realizing he needed a moment of rest from his journey to the past, and from the exhaustion caused by the nightmare.
He sighed as he looked around the nearby areas, where he could rest his eyes for a moment.