Cooking is an art that transcends both space and time. No matter the species or world, a form of nourishment will always be required. Thus, that nourishment will eventually be subject to an artist's touch.
For example, before me lies two pans. In one pan, I have sizzling diced veggies and meats all doused in butter. A rather colorful scheme of various peppers, onions, and dried seasonings can be seen dripping with juices.
On my other pan is a world favorite. A staple in nourishment today. The majestic chicken egg. Yes, the egg, an unborn child of a dinosaur descendant is currently being scrambled, spiced, and subjected to the crackling of the pan, waiting to be transported to a plate.
With a practiced hand movement, I grab the pan of sizzling veggies/meats and allow it to flow out onto the pan of cooked eggs… but I do not stop there. My hand flicks out, grabbing cheese and quickly sprinkling it over, making sure to evenly distribute it or risk cheese melting out.
And now, the hard part. Most people would just turn the eggs to one side, but I am an artist. And artists never do things the normal way.
Taking up smaller utensils, I slowly start to fold the eggs inward. But not too slowly, or risk overcooking the eggs, which would be just as bad. My hands, unshaking, my mind, focused, and my eyes concentrated, I fold lightly, perfectly, not allowing even a twitch of my fingers. All of my training and thousands of years of experience is being put to the test for this morning.
I take a slow steady breath.
Almost there, just a few more folds
*RRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG*
My hand twitches, the tweezers rip through the egg… destroying my hard work… and ruining everything.
*RRRRIIIINNNNGGGGG*
I turn my head to the side, my phone rings, the caller ID says Franky.
With a sigh, I grab my phone and bring it up to my ear.
"Franky, I don't feel like talking right now," I tell my friend, tears slowly moving down my cheek.
"... Quasi are you crying again?" *sigh* "How is it that the smartest person I have ever met is also a cooking perfectionist? Like really, must you make all of your food into an art piece? So what were you making today?"
*Sniffle* "I… uh was making an omelet… and I poked a hole through the eggs when I was folding it."
"Really now… you poked a hole through the eggs. How the hell do you poke a hole through eggs? Aren't you using a spatula?"
"Well, knowing you, you would probably use something different like nose tweezers or something."
I choke, my eyes turn towards my hand… still holding the tweezers…
"Um…"
"Don't answer that. I don't even want to know. Just calling to tell you that we have an advanced engineering exam today."
Today? No, it should be a few days from now.
"You mean Friday, right Franky?"
"Nope, our dear old professor pushed up the exam a few days because his daughter is getting married or some shit like that. So yea, people are pissed already, but we can't do too much anyhow. I know you don't even come to class except for exams… which I still find amazing that you still get perfect scores."
Ugh…I don't want to go to school. Today was supposed to be 'relax and polish my sexy statues' day.
*Sigh* "Well Franky, I guess I'm going to school today for that stupid test. Thanks for calling me and telling me about it. Need a ride to school?"
"Nah, I'm already here, studying my ass off. If you do decide to come early though, I would really love a tutoring session from you."
I smile at my friend Franky. A genuinely good friend. He is the type of person who would fight a pack of wild wolves to save a helpless kitten. A true selfless hero… easily a possible candidate for a hero summon if it were ever to happen to him.
"Ok Franky, let me take a quick shower and I'll drive up to school."
"Thanks, Quasi, I really appreciate it."
I smile at his sincerity, "I wouldn't help you otherwise. Anyways, I have to clean up this mess and take a shower. I'll call you at school."
"Thanks, Quasi."
"Yes yes, bye."
I hang up the phone and start to clean up the mess in the kitchen.
I should hire a maid… a cute maid with a revealing outfit. My mind wanders, thinking about the possibilities, or better yet, I can get a whole bunch of them! And then I can have them polish my statues as I watch!
I nod, smiling as I throw everything into the dishwasher and turn it on. From there, I head towards the bathroom.
I wonder how much it would cost for a dozen maids?
I enter my bathroom, a rather massive thing with a jacuzzi at the corner. I quickly undress and throw my clothing into a laundry basket.
I can have them do laundry too...
I enter the shower and turn on the hot water, allowing it to run down my head. Moving my hand back, I remove the rubber band holding my long hair back and allow it to rest on my shoulders.
If I pay enough, I can have them clean me in the shower too!
A perverted smile finds itself on my face only to quickly be replaced by a frown.
Really? This is the worst possible time!
My soul resonates, feeling the call of the void. Energy starts to flow around me. Times slows down as my mind and body resonate with the new world. The droplets of water slow and stop. A quick flash and reality bends around me.
______
Summonings comes in all shapes and sizes. Some worlds will just take your soul and create a new body or put you into someone else's body. Others will utilize reincarnation, allowing you to actually be born naturally into the world.
Looking around, I see pure darkness, a limbo before a summoning may happen. From that darkness, a man appears with a smile.
"Aaaahhh Quasi," he looks me up and down, a smile forming on his face. "Unfortunately, restrictions keep me from creating clothes for you." He shakes his head, smiling internally.
I scratch the side of my head, not at all used to having an extremely old and powerful god staring at my naked self.
"Ok… so… how is this summoning going to work? Will I be using my own body or what?"
The god shakes his head and pulls out his hand. Within a moment, a purple ball of energy comes to life, quickly expanding to a huge size. "Unfortunately, your body would be much too weak for the world I am summoning you to. Thus, a new one will be created.
The ball of energy forms and bends, taking on a humanoid shape. Then it starts to create features quickly, each second growing closer and closer to a human.
Within a minute… or some indeterminable amount of time, a replica of my body floats before me in excruciating detail.
The god's other hand flows up, five balls of various colors circle around.
He flicks them one by one towards the body.
The first ball strikes the left shoulder, a black spider tattoo forms. The second flies towards the right shoulder, a black wolf tattoo forms. The third ball splits into two and flies towards the shin, forming two black feathers on each side. The fourth ball flies towards the upper back, a black circle forms. The final ball moves towards the lower back, creating a detailed image of a fox. But this image is gray instead of black.
Interesting. I wonder if those tattoos mean something specific.
Before I can ask, the god teleports right in front of me.
"The time has come. Adapt quickly or die." His hand flies out and slams through my chest, incredible pain rips through my soul as he forcefully removes it from my body.
Just as quickly as the pain had come, it disappears as I find myself floating in my new body.
At least I think it's my new body…
...Actually… this may still be my body since I can still feel the water frozen in place and touching my skin…
...The feeling isn't painful per say… but when you can feel every freaking droplet of water as though they were a mosquito oh so gently tickling you…
...Softly caressing your skin, making sure that every tiny feeler oh so gracefully touches a most sensitive neuron…
I'M GOING TO RIP THAT GOD'S FUCKING FACE OFF FOR THIS!
*wiggle*
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*wiggle* *wiggle*
The god in question places his gloved hand on his chin. "Impressive, only a few moments after the body fusion and your soul is already claiming your new body."
His hands go to his hips as he shakes his head. "And I was all worried about your soul being ripped apart in the most gruesome way possible if the fusion were to fail."
*wiggle* *wiggle* *wiggle*
He nods to himself, "Well then, since I can see that you will be fine, let's continue the summoning process," His left hand comes to the forefront of his face, his eyes taking one last look at me.
"Have fun, [Hero]."
*Tap*
Reality bends and reels as I plummet further into oblivion until a flash of light and… what?
Clouds float over me as gentle wind caresses my wet skin. All around me I see clouds and light while feeling weightless as well.
*wiggle* *wiggle*
Yup, still can't move.
*twitch*
Yup… not even my eyes work properly.
Sighing internally, I close up my mind and ignore the sounds and sights around me, focusing upon my very soul. A rather powerful skill I had learned on my 17th summon.
My mind slows down as the world around me fades to black, visualizing my soul, a ball of celestial energy, caged within the confines of a mortal body.
*ding*
Unfortunately, my meditation is oh so quickly interrupted by a giant floating blue box.
WELCOME HERO!
YOUR STORY WILL SOON BEGIN.
PLEASE WAIT A MOMENT WHILE WE DO A FULL SCAN.
...What?
ACTIVATING SCAN NOW
The feeling of power as it settles upon the barrier protecting my soul… fruitlessly attempting to overpower my shields that had been so thoroughly molded by an elder god… the first god I had ever worked for, feels weird as hell.
ERROR, SCAN CANNOT COMPLETE.
ACTIVATING ADVANCED SCAN PROCEDURE.
Um...
Whips of energy slam into my barrier, ricocheting off with extreme pressure. My soul vibrates, feeling each impact like a bowling ball striking a thick metal wall.
Even still, I smile internally, enjoying the futile attempt of… whatever this thing is as it attempts to gain access to my soul.
Error, attempt has failed.
Searching for possible solution…
Possible solution found.
Activating administrator SAS # 11.
Ever had that feeling of finding yourself in the presence of something that is so absurd, your first reaction becomes outright fear because you just can't get your head around it?
A giant freaking eyeball comes into being, dwarfing my size thousands of times over.
It just floats there, staring at me with… what do giant eyes feel anyway?
ADMINISTRATOR SAS11 HAS BEEN ACTIVATED.
The eye looks to me… and blinks.
INTERESTING.
Ohhhhh crap
Soul energy ripples from the giant eye, ramming into my barrier… ripping it apart like a fat guy with a pizza.
My soul gets engulfed while a sense of helplessness descends on my psyche as foreign energy molests me from the inside.
My virgin soul, forever tainted by a giant floating eyeball.
The eye blinks
Hmmm, I see. I must admit Quasi Eludo, this is a truly unique situation you have found yourself in.
"Don't freakin' read my mind!" I yell out, not at all happy to have my deepest, darkest thoughts known to a giant eyeball.
Oh shit, I can move. I think, realizing that I have full control of my body.
Your body and soul were in a state of flux, slowly fusing together.
Considering that your summoning will begin very soon, I took it upon myself to speed up the process and ready your body.
I blink, staring at the wall of text before me, floating a foot before my face, following my eyes as they move.
Completely forgetting the fact that a giant eyeball just soul raped me, I move my hand forward, passing through the giant blue screen.
Closing one eye, the screen adjusts to my open one.
Oh, that's pretty cool
As much as I enjoy watching you play with the soul interface, you, unfortunately, have a summoning to complete.
My head turns back to the giant rapist eye, incapable of discerning any features because of a giant floating blue screen in my way.
The soul interface, or the blue screen as you call it, is an important aspect of life in Orbis. Thus, it has many functions which are similar to earth's ideas on virtual reality.
Taking a deep breath of the cool misty air, I forcibly calm myself down, hoping that the giant rapeball hadn't done anything wrong with my soul.
Do not worry, my programming does not allow me to modify your soul beyond the interface installation.
"Programming… oh crap, you're a synthetic soul." I yell out in surprise.
Isn't the creation of synthetic souls illegal?
You are correct. Since the 8730th god games which heralded the synthetic soul wars, all newly made synthetic souls are illegal and must be immediately destroyed.
Nodding, I remember a few older gods explaining to me of a massive war which had happened before their existence. Of synthetic god souls wanting to rip universes apart.
If rapeball is a synthetic soul… and has not been destroyed… oh crap.
"You are extremely old."
The eyeball blinks.
I am far older than any god you have ever dealt with.
Older than any god… shit. No wonder he so easily ripped apart my barrier… speaking of barrier.
"I don't suppose you can fix the barrier you so easily ripped apart. I kinda need it for protection."
Unfortunately, a soul barrier would make it difficult for you to interact with the world system. So it will need to remain gone. But do not fret, for the gods who reside on Orbis are restricted from forcing their will upon mortals.
Regardless, when you leave Orbis, I will personally recreate that barrier for you.
Now then Quasi Eludo, I have delved into your mind and have found no knowledge of the world you are going to. This ignorance allows you to gain the [Hero] class and all of the benefits that come with it.
And with that, I will have the automatic system continue the summoning process. Goodbye.
Before I can react to his words, he disappears and a screen pops up in front of me.
Name
Quasi Eludo
Sex
Male
Age
Body: 25 Mental: 9243
Holy crap, is that an exact score for my mental age? Damn, I have to remember that number in case anyone asks.
Scanning Physical Attributes
Attributes?…
Strength
23
The Exertion of Force on Physical Objects
Dexterity
36
Readiness and Grace in Physical Activity
Stamina
32
Energy Levels on Physical Activity
Perception
235
Ability to Perceive Surroundings
Endurance
14
The body's ability to Withstand Physical Force
Vitality
213
Max Life expectancy of Body in Years.
Mana Quantity
420
Quantity of Max Magical Energy
Mana Regen
2.3/s
Speed at which Mana Regenerates
Affinity
13 Found
A Body's Ability to Utilize Specific Types of Mana
This seems rather explanatory… why is my endurance so low?
Scanning Mental Attributes
Intelligence
432
Ability to Learn and Problem Solve.
Willpower
3047
Ability to Withstand and Utilize Mental Effects.
Soul
4143
Quantitative Strength of a Person's Spiritual Ability
Yup, I'm in an RPG… a freakin' world built as an RPG… this will be fun… and very new.
Adding Legendary Class [Hero]
HERO CLASS AWARDED.
You are now a Level 1 HERO.
Perks Obtained: 2
[Multi Classer]: Leveling other classes will not restrict growth at higher levels.
[Hero Interface]: As a Hero, you have constant access to the World Interface regardless of Location.
[Language Acquisition]: As a foreign entity summoned to Orbis, you understand languages from only hearing them once.
Preparing Summoning Procedure...
Mere moments after I read the last interface message, my body starts to disintegrate, my vision quickly blurring.