Just InCommunityForumMoreDragon Man Fights for Elf Butt by Throwaway1971 Books » Private Rated: M, English, Romance & Humor, Words: 262k+, Favs: 40, Follows: 50, Published: Oct 9, 20232Chapter 2
A unfamiliar ceiling." I always wanted to say this line.
Oh right before that I should analyze my surroundings, first of all the bed is... Meh?
Okay? Fine? Mid?
I was expecting being woken up in a great bed while being watched over by two maids damn it! So why do I feel like I woke up a top of concrete?
Okay it isn't that bad, but still! Welp, back to analyzing my surroundings.
The ceiling which I had first seen was... Generic, it was fine.
And so were the walls, and the windows, everything looked pretty okay, but not great either, it was like I just woke up in the room equivalent of a Pokémon game!
Mid.
Did Emilia dump me somewhere in the middle of the capital?! No way right? I mean I know I could be a bit... Much, but that was definitely OoC for someone like her.
I try moving my body and I am immediately hit with a wave of pain. "Argh, this sucks..." It's my stomach.
It's not the mind breaking pain I felt before, now it's more like a tummy ache, so it's doable enough to get up.
Slowly I do so and I notice that my legendary item the [TRACKSUIT] was now 'unequipped' and I was instead wearing some random robes.
Damn it [Subaru Natsuki] is gonna cry if that thing is lost!
I slowly move towards the door that would reveal the way out, it was the only thing of note here outside of desk with nothing on it, so it seemed like it was time to move to another place.
I slowly opened the door and as I left I was greeted by a man dressed in the standard lugunican knight uniform, he also had a sword sheated, so it was pretty clear what he was.
He actually looked like Paul goddamned Greyrat and wasn't that scary as hell...
Nonetheless as soon as he saw me he bowed. "Sir." A curt short word, but it was clear he had respect for me.
"Umm, hi? Sorry I'm a bit lost..." Like for real, where was my elf? My maids? My magic loli?
The knight looked at me and gave me a disarming smile. "Have no worries sir, my name is Wilhelm Heathcliff, a member of the royal guard, I am simply here to act as a bodyguard for the time being." Wilhelm? He's definitely not the Sword Demon... Maybe it was just a common name?
"A bodyguard? Why?"
He gave me a confused look. "To protect you from the Bowel Hunter of course."
"Wait she's still here?!" Round 2?! That fast?!
"No sir, she has escaped, at least so far... Though with the Sword Saint looking for her that probably won't last long..." They involved Reinhard?!
I took a look at the guard, hoping I could show him how confused I was with looks alone. "I... Sorry sir Wilhelm, but I got knocked down at the end of the fight so if you could explain the situation to me I would be eternally grateful."
He nods. "Of course, then let me begin." Exposition time. "Shortly after your battle with the Bowel Hunter, Lady Emilia contacted the guards and warned us of the presence of that woman."
He looks at me to see if I'm keeping up and once I nod he continues. "We of course reacted as fast as possible, currently many knights are in pursue of her."
"Okay, got it, and this place is?"
"A inn, since the Bowel Hunter seemed to be targetting Lady Emilia we are protecting her choice of rest for the current moment, while only I am guarding your room, there is a perimeter set up around here, currently there are around 20 knights securing this inn." Wow, royal protection.
I wonder if something similar had happened to Subaru while he slept, also Emilia didn't dump me apparently, yay. "Okay, that's great, for real."
I knew Elsa was a beast, but surely even she wouldn't attack what had basically become a fortress would she?
[Orsted The Dragon God] wasn't sure, from what he could tell the strength of that woman was around saint rank, her style of combat seemed to be a weird mix of the sword god and north god, a tricky one, and while her defenses were lacking her healing factor made up for it.
If I had my full power I could have crushed her, she was far inferior to Rujierd who the dragon god had destroyed in seconds, sadly I was nerfed, but...
I could feel my [Fighting Spirit] had grown considerably in that fight, Orsted was a man that excelled at growing mid-battle and I could already feel that I had reached a new level, I definitely wasn't as strong as Elsa now, but I feel like I could fight that giant Rom and have a chance at actually winning.
Wow I already had surpassed [Subaru Natsuki] as he currently was in the novels hadn't I? That was kinda sad.
Still I do have a few more questions for the knight. "So, if you do not mind it sir can you inform me of where Lady Emilia is?" I want to ask for my reward for bravely defeating Elsa after all.
Yep, defeating. I won, she ran and I'm alive I win bye, bye.
The knight nods. "Of course, Lady Emilia and a servant of hers are currently negotiating with the vice-captain of the royal guard, Heinkel Astrea for protection and for transportation, most likely we will accompany her to the lands of the margrave Roswaal L. Mathers."
He's being surprisingly forthcoming with important information like that, maybe Mili said I was a VIP so to speak?
"Ok, thanks for the info, Sir Wilhelm." I still need to know one thing... "So what should I do now sir?"
"If Lady Emilia has not left you any instructions I must ask that you retire to your room and rest, it seems like..." He takes a look at my pale face. "You were grievously wonded in your battle against the Bowel Hunter, please wait for Lady Emilia's return." Ahh this sucks, back to resting.
And so I go back to my okayish bad and lay down.
I don't feel sleepy at all, what should I do now? The [Original] and [Orsted The Dragon God] were not the type to just nap away the day.
Not that it was day anyways, it was currently night time.
Should I have asked the guard what day it was? What if I spent a bunch of days in a coma? Well then I would probably be on Roswaal's mansion already...
Maybe I could train? Not physically of course, I wouldn't want to open up my wounds, but I could train my mana.
Magic, every single part of my [Being] was excited to mess with it.
I visualize dirt, I might as well steal Rudeus Greyrat's method of training.
I focus my mana, at this point it has completely regenerated to full.
[Orsted The Dragon God] almost orgasm's with this, it has been some rough thousands of years with his awful mana regeneration, so finally having that problem solved feels like quite the blessing.
I extend my hand and grains of dirt start appearing on it, I try to will it into a specific shape.
Puck, he should be a fine figure.
It's actually quite tough and once it's over the figure looks quite bad, but it's a start.
And so I keep going, my mana control and capacity increasing with every figure I make, all of them more detailed than the last.
Still eventually I do run out of mana, and so I collect all the dirt and... Throw it out of the window, I don't need Emilia being weirded out from me making statues of her dad.
I go back to sleep.
Or at least I try, but then a sudden thought strikes me. "Ah! Kadomon's daughter!" I-I kinda forgot about the lost little girl, but she was going to be fine right? Hopefully?
Ahhh, I hope someone gallant knight helped her.
I go back to sleep.
And somewhere in the capital of Lugunica, Reinhard Van Astrea wondered how his day went from helping a lost little girl to tracking one of the most well known serial killers to ever exist.
"He- Suba-" Ah? What's with that angelic voice gracing my ears? "Wake up, Subaru" I slowly open my eyes to find out.
Oh, it's Emilia. "Hey Mili..." Waking up to her face is quite nice, still her expression is that of worry.
It's wrong, she should be smiling, always.
She looks at me with an intense expression as if looking for something and then she says. "Hey Subaru... Are you okay?"
I think of Elsa gutting me, but then I also think about the fact that in the future I'm going to hopefully bang her.
And her little sister.
And her psychotic mom.
I don't feel that bad. "I'm fine Mili, thanks for asking." I know I can loop, but I'm truly glad my experiences with Emilia weren't lost.
If she forgot about me calling her Mili I would get seriously sad.
Hopefully I won't get the [Return By Death] experience any time soon, I'm still afraid of going to the [Shadow Garden] and actually meeting Satella face to face.
Also dying hurts, obviously.
"Okay then, I'm glad Subaru, but I have to ask something..."
I grin. "Ask away angel! This Subaru is at your command."
She gives me a smile. "Geez, you're certainly are zestful..." Emilia-Tan what did zestful even mean? "But I suppose that means you really are okay." She then start patting my head...
"Mili, while I do appreciate the head pat, I must wonder, why?" I feel like I'm on the receiving end of an attack coming from a [Shotamancer].
"I'm just showing my appreciation since you're a go~od boy." Oi, what?
Wait, was she actually trying to shotamance me?! "Mili, question... How old do you think I am?" I now remember she thought Subaru was thirteen to fourteen years old.
She puts a finger to her chin and hums. "About ten to eleven?"
I-I-I almost died for this woman. "Mili... I'm seventeen." Actually [Subaru Natsuki] was seventeen, I'm way older, like thousands of year older if we're counting Orsted's age. "Also I'm massive." For real, I was now way taller than the original Subaru thanks to the catalog, In fact I was now standing at a proud 185 centimeters tall! One centimeter taller than the [Original] was, and also one centimeter taller than Reinhard.
Suck it.
"Oh, Rea~lly? Sorry you just gave off that feeling, and I didn't want to judge you by your height..." She blushes a little. "Besides I kinda like your jovial nature."
Emilia-Tan did you awaken a hidden shotacon side while I was asleep!? Also I'm glad you don't judge people by appearances, but everything has a limit you know!?
She then shakes her head. "Sorry I got distracted, I need to ask you... Will you come with me?"
I nod enthusiastically. "Yes, coming with you sounds great, fantastic actually." I giggle a little.
I am an adult.
"Ehhh! I didn't even tell you where Subaru..." The adorable half-elf says.
"No worries Mili, a knight filled me in! We're going to the place of the margrave right?"
She nods. "Yes, that's right... I don't want to bother you, but I don't know if there's going to be any further problems with your healing and we have an amazing healer back at Lord Roswaal's mansion."
Oh, Beako! My favorite little neet loli! I can't wait to meet her and then... You know... Surely she was a freak at it after 400 years of no action?
Wait. "Emilia what do you mean further problems?"
She blushes, her embarrassment seems less like the cute ones she has shown before and more like she's embarrassed about something not romantic related (unforgivable). "Well, Elsa did cut your stomach so for a little while you lost control of your... bowels, I did manage to fix it, but there could be something I missed." Ah, Emilia please don't say bowels I'm traumatized by that word-
Like thunder what she said finally hits my mind.
I shit myself didn't I.
How embarrassing, well it couldn't be helped since it was caused by an injury, still I point my index finger at Emilia. "Forget Beam."
"Eh?"
"Forget Beam, I will say no more." I refuse.
She takes a moment and then nods. "O-okay I got it, that memory is no more."
"I'm glad you understand."
I start getting up, and then I notice that it's still pretty dark outside. "Hey Mili what's the time of the day? Also now that I notice where is your friendly yet scary spirit companion?"
Her face morphs into surprise. "Where did the scary part come from? Anyway's it's 4:00 A.M. So Puck is sleeping right now." Oh, it really is super early, I guess the cat would be sleeping.
Speaking of sleeping, Emilia looks like she needs it, there's dark circles under her eyes. "Mili, for a true man the father will always be scary if he's talking with the daughter." And for me he was extra scary, you know because of the whole mindrape stuff.
I notice that I'm still wearing the same robes from before. "Hey Mili do I need to change? Or is okay to go wearing this?" They definitely looked like they were made for sleeping, not traveling, also they lacked the drip.
That was very important.
"I'll get you a change of clothes don't worry." She looks to the ceiling for a moment and then back at me, her face changes into guilt. "Sorry that we are dragging you from your home."
"Eh? What do you mean?"
Emilia looks confused. "Because I'm making you leave the capital... I know that leaving suddenly like that can be ve~ry scary." Oh, I guess she would know since Roswaal had basically dragged her from Elior Forest.
But, this isn't my home. "Emilia I'm not from the capital, in my amazing flawless Subaru introduction I told you I was new to this place." Though in a way she was correct that I was leaving my home.
As in I went to another world entirely.
Emilia nods. "Oh, I thought that was possible, but since you knew the area so well... I figured you were teasing me."
"Nope, I'm not from the capital at all, I just found my way using my metia... Ah! My metia, where is it!?" I could get it back right? I think the catalog said something about people not being able to steal it?
Emilia mouth opens in surprise, but then she giggles. "Don't worry Subaru, your metia is fine, I was safeguarding it." She then handles me my phone.
I sigh in relief. "Thanks Mili, I would be in serious trouble if someone got their hands on this."
"Your welcome, oh, since it seemed important to you I didn't mess with it either, I didn't wanna break anything." EMT as always, though I don't even know if she could mess with it even if she wanted to. "Also, I'm sorry to tell you, but your clothes were beyond saving..."
...
...
...
Ah! My legendary [TRACKSUIT, how will I live now and join the isekai club? Surely all that has been reincarnated, or summoned will despise and shun me now!
Ok, I actually didn't care about it that much, but I could feel a small part of [Subaru Natsuki] being sad for losing one of his few last connections to his world.
Sorry Subaru, it can't be helped. "Oh, by the way Mili... What happened to Felt and Rom?" Did they get arrested?
"Sorry, please don't get mad, but I let them go..."
"No worries, it's okay, they didn't seem that bad anyways, but I do wonder if Felt didn't have more information about Elsa, she was the one buying the jewel after all." She probably didn't of course, but it would be nice if she had at least an excuse for me to throw blame at Roswaal.
Emilia sighs. "I did ask them, but they didn't know much at all..." I figured.
"Well that's not good, but at least everyone came out safe and sound in the end!" Even Elsa! And speaking of her. "I'm guessing they couldn't catch that bitch right?"
"Yes... Sadly she seems to have escaped, even the Sword Saint couldn't catch her." I expected that, but man why can't Reinhard ever do anything right? "But Subaru... What does 'bitch' mean?"
My eyes widen in shock. "Ask Puck."
"I did ask in the past... But he just changed the topic." Ah! Puck why are you making me go through this?! "So please tell me!"
I grimace, how the hell do I explain this?! "It means someone who's... It's a insult, ok?" Please don't ask me to elaborate.
I don't wanna be killed just because Puck got mad at me for teaching his daughter some vulgar language.
Emilia makes an adorable pouting face. "Geez Subaru, you didn't explain anything." Sorry, forgive me Emilia-Tan! "But fine, if both you and Puck won't explain it to me, I guess there's a good reason." Actually there wasn't, we just thought you were cuter being this innocent.
"Anyways, considering you woke me up I guess it's time for us to leave?"
"Yes, I'm sorry were leaving so early, but the knighthood wants us out of their hair as soon as possible." I Imagine their hurry to make us leave was due to the half-elf's silver hair. "So we need to eat something, get you clothed and then leave..."
"Sounds good to me! I'm dying to meet the court magician!" Good old Ros-chi and his plans to manipulate me into reviving his crush, as if I was gonna let him dick down Echidna, sorry, but I'm calling dibs on her.
Sucks to suck Roswaal.
Mili and I go leave the room, but when her hand touches the doorknob she stops. "Subaru... I'm sorry."
"Hah?" Did I miss something?
She turns around and looks at me. "You must be confused why an silver haired half-elf like me is getting protected by the knighthood and Lord Roswaal right?" Not really, but I guess she wouldn't know that.
"Hey Mili, it's obvious something big is happening here, but I know when to not ask questions. So don't worry about it."
She messes with her hair a little and shakes her head. "No." A look of determination appears on her face. "You deserve to know since you helped me so much, especially since it was a half-elf like me..."
"Emilia, you're beautiful, before anything I just want you to know that." I am not letting my chosen waifu bully herself even if I have to use [Alluring Whisper].
Her face becomes a tomato. "Ah! Dunderhead! Nincompoop! Bonehead!" She puts her hands on her face and crouches, it reminds me of our first meeting, she then mumbles. "Why do you say things like that all of the sudden?"
"Because Mili's main heroine appeal is too strong!" I nod to myself. "Also nobody says those words anymore."
She gets up, still blushing, but no longer looking like the world's prettiest tomato. "Mean! Stop teasing me! I need to tell you something important."
"Okay Mili! But I wasn't teasing back there! Those were all compliments."
She puts her hand in her chest and sighs. "Subaru what I am about to tell must stay a secret you understand?"
I nod. "Of course. You can trust me Mili."
She takes the insignia out of her pocket and shows me, it glows in her hand, it's super noticeable in this dark room. "Subaru, remember the jewel I was looking for?"
"Mili if I had forgotten that thing already then I should seriously seek a doctor." I almost died to get that stupid dragon stone, I wasn't forgetting it anytime soon.
She nods and continues. "This insignia... It glows in my hand... It proves that it has chosen me as a candidate for the throne of Lugunica."
Wow... I'm so surprised... Since I know this already I feel like this moments is less magical than it needs to be, still I fake surprise. "Wow?! Seriously!?"
"Yes, after the passing away from the royal family, the divine dragon Volcanica gave us a prophecy." She puts the insignia back to her pocket. "That five maidens would be susceptible to become dragon priestesses if these stones shined on their hand, but only one of them will attain this title."
"Wow, very JRPG of him" Poor senile dragon, it was probably going to be sad to eventually meet him and see what had become of the [Divine Dragon].
Emilia ignores my JRPG comment. "Since the royal family has passed away, the council of wise men have decided that whoever becomes this dragon priestess will become king." She pauses and takes a deep breath. "I am one of these candidates as the insignia shows, right now there are four candidates found, me included, but as soon as the fifth one is found an election of sorts will start."
She looks deep in my eye. "I must absolutely win that election. It's for a selfish reason, but I have to win." She then looks at the ground. "The thing about this insignia is that there are only five, one for each candidate and so losing one is tantamount to losing the candidacy... T-that's why...! Thank you so, so, so much!" She then hugs me with surprising force.
EMT.
She stops hugging me and bows. "I w-was so scared and you helped when I needed the most! Thank you from the bottom of my heart Subaru! That's why if you need something please ask! I will do my best to repay you!"
I pat her in the shoulder to comfort her, I know the cliche move was to not ask for anything, but I know that would only make her feel guilty and so I declare my intentions. "Don't worry Mili, I've already got a wish in store!"
She raises her head at me. "Yes? Anything?!"
I do the iconic Subaru pose that I should probably trademark. "This Subaru Natsuki is broke and unemployed, please ask the margrave to find me a job." Hopefully not as a butler.
She sounds disappointed. "Is that all? That seems like such a small wish..."
I nod my head. "Yep, there's more, I want to work close to you, like a bodyguard or a personal attendant or something."
"Uh? Wouldn't you prefer tons of gold? I can't pay you back by giving you more work..."
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Foolish Mili. "Trust me, a steady job is much better then some coin, also working with a princess is definitely gonna look good on my work resume!"
She gives a contemplating look and eventually nods. "Okay, I'm gonna ask Roswaal then... No, I'm going to insist that he hires you."
I raise my hand and open it, and then close it again as if I was catching something invisible. "Yes! Employment get!" I already managed to do the hardest part of life! "Ok then, time to get dressed, let's go Mili!"
"Okay. But you really need to lower your voice Subaru, it's really early..."
My bad! Wait weren't you screaming just a few moments ago!?
Now these are some fantasy clothes!
Uncomfortable boots, uncomfortable trousers, uncomfortable shirt and a uncomfortable jacket since it was chilly.
Oh well, this was just the price to pay for living in fantasy land I suppose.
Now that I have experienced putting on some fantasy clothing it's time for some fantasy food.
I'm seriously starving, I haven't eaten anything since I got here, I should have asked that knight for some food when I first woke up.
An angelic voice calls me from the corridor. "He~y Subaru, are you done?"
I leave my room. "Yep, let's go get some grub." Apparently even Emilia knew you weren't supposed to get naked in front of others, so once she gave me my new clothes she left the room.
Good, if she was naive enough to not even know that, she would go from innocently cute to NTR bait.
I will personally murder every balding and ugly fat man born out of wedlock if I need to! Don't try me!
Thankfully this world didn't have an ocean so at least the tanned beach guy species can never appear.
Emilia And I make way to the dining room and there I finally spot what I have been looking for... A maid! Ram! Roswaal's little Stockholm Syndrome victim!
I will add her to my ever expanding harem of course (current members: zero).
Wait? Wasn't I complaining about NTR a second ago?
Eh, I'm evil anyways, evil people get away with being hypocrites.
Emilia goes to greet her. "Hello Ram, good morning!"
Ram looks back at her and bows. "Good morning Lady Emilia." She takes a pause and looks at me. "And good morning Subaru Natsuki."
As for me? "Good morning miss Ram." I look at her chest of course!
It's small, but considering we live in a isekai world it means it's exotic, that's right Ram somehow you managed to achieve justice in such a world.
She frowns. "Oh? Perhaps instead of calling you Subaru I should you call your Pervbaru instead?"
"Ah! Quick!" I stop looking.
"Since you are actually fairly handsome, for a brief moment I thought Lady Emilia had actually found a good man, but it seemed she dragged in a stray dog instead." No mercy.
Emilia looks shocked. "Ram!"
"It's fine Mili, actually I will take the compliment from Ram over here and be happy!" Every isekai needs a tsundere. "In fact I shall treasure it for the rest of my days."
Ram takes a step back. "This man is dangerous Lady Emilia, it's seems Degeneratebaru here has no shame."
"It changed?! Hey miss Ram can you be consistent with the insulting nicknames at least?!"
"Hah! You are not deserving of such privilege Lecherousbaru." She smirks. "Also do not call me miss Ram, instead you may refer to me as Lady Ram, supreme Ram, or goddess Ram, whichever you prefer."
Ah... "I see I am no match for you goddess Ram, forgive me for I got too cocky teasing Mili." This new challenger was too strong.
Emilia gasps. "So you were teasing me?!"
I immediately apologize. "Only at certain points Mili! Forgive this foolish Subaru."
Ram interrupts. "Do not forgive, nor forget Lady Emilia, Corruptbaru here is the type to take a mile if given an inch, in fact cutting all ties to him this instant would be the wise decision."
Mili giggles, it's a cute sound as always. "Geez you guys already settled into a routine so soon."
I activate [Alluring Whisper]. "That's because Ram is the type of woman I like, so it's easy to get along with her." Sorry Ram, but I am completely okay with using cheats to win this conversation.
The maid blushes and goes behind Emilia as if seeking a shield. "This man truly is dangerous Lady Emilia, he has no shame and he is the third most handsome man I have ever seen... Too dangerous."
Emilia nods. "Yes, Subaru really does these things sometimes..."
I put a smile on my face. "Yep, I'm great I know, I know... Wait there's a list?! Can you explain it to me Ram?!"
"Yes, it goes Scumbaru, the great and amazing Lord Roswaal and then the Sword Saint, also don't forget to call me goddess when addressing me." Sorry, but that's too much of a mouthful.
Still... "From your obvious adoration I feel like Roswaal should be in first place..."
Ram makes an annoyed expression. "I wish that was the case, but even I cannot deny the perfection of the Sword Saint... As much as it pains me." Burn in hell Reinhard.
"I haven't even seen that guy yet and I already know I'm gonna hate his guts." Actually the [Original] liked Reinhard a lot, but that was before he became real, and most importantly became a threat to the whole world domination thing.
Also the inferiority complex of [Subaru Natsuki] wasn't helping.
Emilia sighs. "Subaru, I'm su~re you're going to get along with Reinhard if you two ever meet, both of you are really nice!" Thank you Emilia, but I'm pretty sure you're not taking my mind control into equation when judging my niceness.
"Sorry Mili, but Reinhard and I are natural enemies, I'm sure if we ever meet it will be a clash that decides the fate of the world." One which I will probably lose as it currently stands.
Really Reinhard and I were in similar situations, both of us had been given incredible power by a being we couldn't even begin to comprehend, but while he had chosen to become the world's greatest hero, I had chosen to become Regulus Corneas 2.0 actually fuck his wives edition.
Though it seems Emilia cannot see things from my perspective. "No, I'm sure both of you will get along." Sure, Emilia, sure.
Ram for one agrees with me. "You are incorrect Lady Emilia, the good Sword Saint will surely put down this Pestbaru." She makes a smug face. "Though I'm sure it won't be a world deciding battle, that just happens to be Patheticbaru's prideful nature getting the best of him."
Emilia looks at her. "Please don't be too mean to Subaru... Okay Ram?"
But I intervene. "Don't worry Mili, were just playing..." Still Emilia is probably not comfortable with jokes about me being 'put down', how cute.
Ram nods hesitantly. "Yes Lady Emilia, we are just joking." She shrugs still doing a smug face. "The Sword Saint if far too kind, I'm sure he will only arrest Never-Laid-Down-With-A-Womanbaru."
Oi, were now doing full sentences!?
Emilia sighs. "Well... If you two really are just joshing around... Then it's fi~ne I guess." Thank you Emilia, Ram must be allowed to keep her unique mannerisms less she be lost among a crowd of generic harem members.
The haremette industry is a cruel and cold one, also. "No one says joshing anymore Mili."
Eventually we manage to grab something to eat and sit down.
Emilia is eating mostly vegetables, it's seems she doesn't quite like meat, though she doesn't hate it either, Ram is eating a little bit of anything, and as for me...
Soup, it's annoying since I generally don't like to eat soup, but I need to eat something like this to not upset my healing stomach, doctor's orders.
While we eat both Emilia and Ram keep glancing at me, it's kind of discomforting to be honest, especially since it always seems like their eyes are drawn to the mole in my face.
I can't complain of course, in the end I am happy with the passive 'get love points' the mole gives me.
Eventually we finish eating and Ram asks me. "Trashbaru I must ask... Have you thought of what to ask the margrave?" A second passes and she realizes she has to elaborate. "By that I mean that due to various circumstances Lord Roswaal will need to reward you..."
Emilia interjects. "It's fine Ram, I told him everything already."
Ram frowns. "Everything, Lady Emilia?"
"Everything, it's okay, Subaru is a go~od boy." Ah, the return of the [Shotamancer].
Ram is still grimacing, but she does eventually nod. "Very well Lady Emilia, it's your decision to make..." Ram sighs and looks at me. "Nonetheless, have you thought of what to ask of Lord Roswaal?"
"Yep, I've already discussed everything with Mili."
And Emilia immediately denies me. "No, Subaru that was me thanking you, Roswaal is a completely separate manner."
I shake my head, what I've asked is already big enough, especially since I'm a stranger. "Nope, I don't want to act unreasonable to the court mage, or else he will probably curse my bloodline or something." I also don't want to seem like to much of a leech to Rem and Ram.
Speaking of Ram. "Are you sure Weakbaru? I must tell you that the margrave is an understanding and kind man, as long as your wish is not a lustful one I'm sure he will grant it."
I make a thinking pose. "Well, I was thinking of asking for a personal maid..."
"Subaru that's not what you told me before..." Sorry Mili, but I must clash against Ram when the opportunity is presented.
"Ugh, shivers just went down my spine Trashbaru, please cease your behaviour."
"Don't worry Ram, trust me when I say the maid will like it." [Alluring Whisper] is too good, it might be on the same level as [Return By Death] if it allows me to get away with hentai level lines like that.
And to prove that [Alluring Whisper] is far too strong Ram's face changes to the same color as her hair. "Pervbaru, I must tell you that this Ram already has a beloved, so you must stop."
I smirk. "Ram, here's a piece of wisdom... Another man's woman is the best."
Both Emilia and Ram's faces twist in shock. "You are beyond saving Pervbaru." You're recycling my nicknames now?!
"Subaru, that's bad." Forgive me Emilia-Tan. "Also you told me you wanted a job..."
I nod. "That is the plan Mili, I was just seeking revenge against Ram."
"Oh, okay... But you shouldn't try to go for ladies already in love, okay Subaru?" No comment.
Ram begins thinking. "A job? I suppose that's reasonable enough... But what are your talents Doesn't-Deserve-Any-Lovebaru?"
"Please, don't keep on doing the sentence nickname, it's too powerful. Also I happen to be a decent martial artist, and a decent swordsman, I also know magic, oh, and speaking of magic I can both attack and heal, I am illiterate however."
Emilia gives a proud nod. "Yep, Subaru is rea~lly talented..." And then gasps. "Eh!? You can't read!?" Sorry Mili, but that's just the price of being in another world.
Ram frowns. "So you only know how to fight? That's... Annoying, but I suppose we could teach you how to read and write at the manor, you do technically have one favor from Lady Emilia and another from Lord Roswaal, so it seems doable."
I smile. "That seems great! Oh, about the job... I want something that lets me stay close to Mili, like a bodyguard!"
Mili nods from the sidelines and Ram thinks over it. "Normally I would be against giving Worthlessbaru any position of power, but in the end this shall be Lord Roswaal's decision, and I'm sure he will at least test you before, to see if you're qualified."
"Don't worry Ram, Subaru is strong, I would even say that he's above the average knight! Those things he said while using magic were a bit embarrassing however..." Thank you Mili, but please excuse my chuuni behavior, I'm not like you guys who can use magic by just screaming it's name.
Man, I cannot wait to mess with my Yin affinity, Shamak is way too cool.
"I see, I suppose Barasu does have a few qualities besides his handsome face." A sudden canon nickname appears!. "Well, now that everything is settled we should begin our journey, the knights are antsy enough already, let's not make them more even more paranoid."
With that said we leave the inn and go towards our dragon carriage, though I notice there are three there, two of them filled with knights and in ours one knight to guide the dragon.
Speaking of dragons as soon as we approach the dragon carriage the earth dragon looks me in the eye and does a small bow, I hope no one notices that.
And finally we begin our journey, leaving the capital. "Geez, I'm glad were finally leaving this place, it felt like Namek, never ending... Right Mili?"
I'm ignored. "Please stop Inconsideratebaru, can you not see that Lady Emilia is sleeping?" Eh! She really did fall asleep already, well I guess she did look tired.
"Sorry Ram, my bad, by the way are you tired too?" Please say yes.
"No Suspiciousbaru, I am not, and I shall not allow you to do things to our poor sleeping bodies." Shame, I was hoping I could stamp them right here, but I guess Ram doesn't trust me enough to sleep in front of me yet.
"Haha changing the subject!" Subtle. "Can we really trust these guys?" I whisper about the knights.
"Hah! Of course Criminalbaru would fear authority!" She then whispers. "But yes I do not trust them with Lady Emilia as well, but don't worry they won't do anything."
"Really? Why? I'm guessing it's not for honour or anything..."
Ram nods. "Because they fear the margrave... Lady Emilia, a candidate, was just attacked in the capital by a clearly hired killer, if Lady Emilia then went missing after they offered protection Lord Roswaal would make their head's roll, so do not worry they won't do anything, for self-preservation if nothing else.
Ram pauses and takes a deep breath. "Besides..."
"Besides?"
"As much as it pains me to admit it, you have grown popular with the knights." Huh? Why? I mean that's great, but I don't get it.
"Why? I haven't done anything." For real.
She smirks. "Indeed, you just leeched over Lady Emilia's accomplishments... By that I mean that Lady Emilia could not talk about the two ruffians that helped you in battle and the knights would rather slit their own throats than give her and Puck any credit due to her looks, so most of the battle was credited to you."
I guess I could see that, from their point of view I was some gallant hero that drove off the Bowel Hunter single handedly to protect a princess and this time there was no Reinhard to throw the credit at.
Cool, I love being rewarded for stuff I didn't do. "By the way Ram, when will we arrive at the manor?"
"Since we left so early we will most likely arrive at night time."
I gasp. "So I'm gonna spent hours cooped up in this carriage while being cooked by you? What a nightmare!"
To be honest, I'm glad, this way I have more time to prepare myself for what I should about the hired killer in the village.
What would you do [Subaru Natsuki]?