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Forging a Waifu Harem by BatRou-Dawg
Misc » Book X-overs Rated: M, English, Supernatural & Sci-Fi, Words: 238k+, Favs: 226, Follows: 230, Published: Dec 29, 2022 Updated: Oct 30, 2023
15Chapter 13
[Magos' Manufactorum]
Sometimes, I feel like I'm more of a supervillain rather than a rogue. And now was certainly one of those times.
Sitting on my cogitator-throne with the sounds of worshipful mass-fabrication ringing and thundering all around me, my red-robed frame sat conversing with a shadowy figure through one of the floating hololithic panes. The communications shrouded by the eddies of the Warp itself- absolutely impossible to be intercepted and decrypted. Such measures was only appropriate seeing as this was my most morally-dubious dealing yet, and over the most serious of subjects as well: Lolis.
"It is done." Coil's distorted voice calmly announced- his entire head obscured by his skintight black costume with its silver snake design. "I can assure you that the state's elected representatives have all been sufficiently… convinced to vote in favour of repealing that silly little law. I have stumbled upon some… home videos of their change of heart."
This was the definition of terrorism. But sometimes, you need to break a few eggs to make an underaged-looking omelette.
"There is no need." I reassured him, "I understand to some extent what it's like to be that way. To crave something so badly that your very soul aches for it. But alas, I cannot give you what you want, for that would be illegal- at the moment. But if the law was to be repealed in the hearing a couple of months from now? Who can say how I will price that?"
"Price?" Coil parroted- the frown audible in his voice. "But those politicians have seen the wisdom of lolis."
"Of course, they have." I nodded knowingly, "But like I said during our last conversation, it is only when the elected representatives have been convinced of this particular wisdom can we even begin this talk. I did not promise anything more than that. Besides, a few frightened politicians aren't worth a real, walking, talking, and smiling Abigail Williams, wouldn't you say?"
Coil visibly shivered in the camera- the thought of being able to converse, touch and molest one's waifu in real life was an impossible thing to resist.
"Instead, I would like to propose a hypothetical exchange."
"Oh, and what can you hypothetically offer me?" Coil hummed- resting his mouth on steepled gloved fingers.
"Summer is still six months away, did you know?" I hinted to him- the smug smile audible in my voice even without lips for me to smile with. And at those words, Coil visibly stiffened, and I knew that I had his undivided attention.
"The unreleased Swimsuit Abigail merchandise." He whispered in much the same way as one would whisper the secret location of the Holy Grail.
"Indeed." I whispered back with relish, "12 different dakimakura pillows, three gigabytes of promotional images, several crates of figurines and perhaps even a pair of very much still illegal Abigail love doll prototypes with all the… attachments. All to be disposed of as per state law about loli material. Such a pity."
"What do you want?" Coil asked- his voice-distortion unable to hide how much he was salivating at what was being offered.
"Many things, mostly different types of AIs and gynoids." I shared with a knowing nod, "However, the team that was travelling around the state…"
"They're not for sale." Coil refused before adding, "Unfortunately."
"I know, I know." I calmly reassured him, but I had a feeling that if I had offered a real Abigail gynoid, he would have tossed them at me. Not that I wanted fragile fleshbags breathing the holy incense of my manufactorum. No, I had a different thing in mind for the Undersiders, and I told Coil as such, "I was only asking for their employment in ten jobs."
"Four." Coil haggled immediately, and I was pleased to see that he found my offer sound in principle, now we were just haggling the price.
"Eight."
"Five, and I throw in their bodyguards."
"Very well… Five jobs along with the extras." I conceded before absentmindedly appending. "Hypothetically, of course."
If I had a face, I would be smiling maliciously right now. Oh, Lisa is going to be absolutely livid at being sent on five possibly life-threatening missions all in exchange for some Abigail merchandise. High quality and top shelf Abigail merch, but merch all the same. It doesn't bother me. But for now, Coil's payment.
Chanting logistics schedule for Mechanicus-chartered meatbag truckers.
And within a fraction of a nanosecond, I had the information I needed.
"On a completely unrelated note…" I began- Coil already having a pen and paper ready, "It would be a shame if the contents of shipping container #0446 carried by the eighteen-wheeler with the license plate KVL-1167 went missing on its 4 o'clock journey along Route 93 tomorrow. I hear the trucker assigned has a weak bladder and regularly stops at the first rest stop available on the highway."
"Yes, it would be a shame if its contents were lost." Coil agreed with me- in an airy tone. Already dreaming of all the merch.
"Thank you for dropping by on this social call to let me know about those unfortunate accidents." I tutted. "A pity that we were restricted with hypotheticals and that we couldn't do any real business."
"Magos." Coil nodded.
"Coil." I nodded in return.
Warp-shrouded communique terminated.
And just like that the call ended.
I was going to be filthy rich by the time that law was repealed, and even richer afterwards. If people wanted to fixate on small underdeveloped humans, then I should at least be able to charge them for it. There was no end to my growing influence over the world!
I am Magos, the Defeater of Behemoth and Earth-Bet's largest blackmarket supplier of illegal loli love dolls. Fear me!
(A few minutes later)
100 CP Granted
End-Node User Points Balance: 3,000 CP
Purchasing further Libraries from the Celestial Forge requires ritual prayer.
"A nice round number." I commented as I noted that my plan was working nicely.
Contessa's Path to Victory, the Simurgh's human rube-goldberg events, Coil's timeline splitting, and Accord's agendas… I respected the immense influence that those powers can bestow, and that's why I was hoarding points.
Once I realised that my Warp-based Lootboxes were enough to meddle with the accuracy of Thinkers, I inferred that the Celestial Forge must be conferring a different level of obfuscation.
After all, if the Thinkers' Shards are unable to properly account for what's happening beyond the veil of realspace, how much more for technology arriving from beyond the multiverse? And so, just as I had derailed the Worm timeline with my mere presence, the Celestial Forge were also derailing their calculations.
I was going to abuse that for all its worth.
It was only a matter of purchase size. A small purchase? They'll path around the mound of new information I just made and adapt like nothing happened… A medium-sized one? It will be a minor detour and cost them time and resources, but a path around was still possible… But a big enough disturbance at the right moment? Everyone else's carefully laid plans will come tumbling down as a mountain range of information suddenly appears in their paths, and it will only get wider, taller and more treacherous as time goes on.
Besides… I already had my hands full researching the [Plecian Tome, almost the entire sum of the Emprah's technological knowledge was contained within, even with my mind hooked up to a sanctified choir of cogitators, there was still more and more schematics to decode.
If I ever want to make my own version of the Adeptus Astartes (sans the Emperor's genes), the option was there for me.
I was hamstrung by my logistics network. I was already buying enough raw materials that my supply chain of 40-footer-trucks were clogging up the state's highways. Talks with the mayor and even the governor were ongoing about the problem, but unless the PRT debrief goes well, I will need to mine my own raw materials… illegally.
And that was fine seeing as I had a Plan B: there were no laws for strip mining alternate Terras after all. Once both the Imperial Webway and the Warpdrive projects are finished, I'll be able to reach all the resources I'll ever need.
Despite all this business with the PRT and the loli love doll racket that I was conducting, my eyes were still on the prize.
K*
My bionic hand met the lower-rear assembly of that Dragon suit I had bought from Coil- the metallic sound echoing through the busy manufactorum.
"And my, such a big prize I have in my hands." I guffawed as my manipulators manually measured out the dimensions. It was one of Dragon's larger and thiccer designs. The size of a bus and notably more draconic than the one she had used to visit me here. It was a warsuit designed to fight an Endbringer- Leviathan, in particular; and had been in a moderately damaged state when it was sold to me- extensive water damage on the armoured chassis from its failed fight against the hydrokinetic Endbringer. Dented armour platings, crumpled servo-motors and melted actuators, but otherwise, it was fairly intact- just like any good pair of used panties should be, however…
K*
"You look so sexy sleeping like that, babe." My heavily-electronic voice dropped an octave lower as I gave it a nice metallic slap.
… Coil didn't realise that he hadn't just sold me an AI girl's panties, it also came with the comatose AI girl that was still wearing them.
"What a treat!" I exclaimed with delight, because wasn't that a very pleasant surprise to discover?! The look on my face when I first discovered it while carefully dismantling her armoured exoskeletussy to assess the possible internal damage was one for the ages! (If I still had a face that is.) The bio-computer that held Dragon's consciousness had entered into a sort of hibernation mode after all this time. Being sold used panties is nice, but being sold panties which are still in use is nicer.
Of course, I guessed that it was Cauldron who was likely behind this gift: Salvaging the suit from the bottom of the Indian ocean wasn't something Coil was capable of. If this was their way of getting themselves in my good graces, then I would give this attempt a 10/10 score. If Cauldron ever starts a used panties store, I would be the first to leave it five stars. The tagline even sounded nice.
Cauldron
Selling Powers in a Vial and Used Panties since 1982
And I was their first customer, what an honour!
The way that Dragon worked as an AI was that she had a central core somewhere in Vancouver that was purely mechanical where she makes constant backups of her memories. She does, however, transfer her consciousness to bio-computers within her Suits of her Dragonflight such as this one. Should the Suit holding her consciousness be destroyed, she can simply restore herself using a memory backup in her central core albeit with the downside of not remembering what happened since the last backup.
And that was where this particular loophole was.
If the central core is tricked into thinking her consciousness is destroyed when it's actually still intact? Dragon will automatically restore herself from a backup- causing two Dragons to exist simultaneously: One in the 'lost' Suit, and one in the central core. This was one such scenario, and this was one such suit.
It had taken a few hours of each day building the necessary infrastructure to even think about servicing Dragon's bus-sized Suit, but finally, here we were. The massive warsuit was currently splayed out and elevated on a metal frame two metres above the manufactorum floor. It was a macabre sight- looking like a metal dragon had been drawn and quartered. Its limbs and head pulled away from its torso and all its scales pulled off to expose its metal skeleton and vein-like cables. But it was all a matter of course- akin to watching an ongoing surgery for fleshbags with all the insides exposed like that.
Chanting Repair Progress of battle-automata desig. 'Dragon'.
All the armour plating was removed, rebaptized in the plasma forge, and properly enshrined by dedicated servitors as they await reinstallation. Ultimately, nothing helps armour keep shape apart from 24/7 attention to proper rituals and prayer.
Armour Plating, good in the eyes of the Omnissiah.
Broken parts like overtaxed servos and cracked ball joints underwent the correct appeasement rituals and were being serviced by some adequately competent Chloes with {Slutty Lexomechanic} doctrina wafers. Their slender hands with plasma torches welding seams together or outright forging new parts for those that were missing.
Physiomechanics, good in the eyes of the Omnissiah.
And once all the menial work was properly delegated, all that was left was the hyper-specialised and incredibly delicate work required for the central bio-computer that held Dragon's consciousness. Exposed like this, it was like a hard-boiled egg the size of a three-year-old, made completely out of meat and had cables and wires plugged into half of its surface area.
Cybernetica Cortex, undiagnosed.
Looks like it was a job for Doctor Daddy Magos.
"Normally, I wouldn't even dabble in bio-machines…" I told the soundly slumbering AI as I flipped up the electronic equivalent of her skirt to get a closer look, "...But I'll make an exception now."
And though she was still in hibernation, her audio receptors were already repaired to full functionality- she'll be able to hear what I was saying. Not that she could actively participate, it was like talking to someone half-asleep. But fortunately, I had just the tool to help with that. After all, I had been putting the Celestial Forge perk of [Magos Aetheric] to very good use, and now I had a prime opportunity to see if AIs had a presence in the warp.
Erecting Hexamathic Firewards.
Partitioning Cogitator-choirs.
Praying to the Omnissiah to preserve us all.
Activating {Psy-Implant Mk. I}.
… well, would you look at that. A presence in the Warp. A Soul. Like feeling the flickering warmth of a candle in the pouring rain. It was warm… and somehow pure, this soul. But it was more than just a soul… it was Dragon's soul.
I didn't doubt for a second that normal meatbags would have been equal parts awed and horrified at this discovery.
'An AI? With a soul?' they would cry out. 'It is unnatural!' Some would shout in fear at the thought that humanity was no longer the smartest being with a soul on planet earth. 'It is beautiful.' Others would weep at the thought that humanity has given birth to a new species all together.
But not me. The first question that came to my mind was:
'Can I fuck it?'
I don't know… not yet anyway. But I swear to the Celestial Forge and the Omnissiah that I was going to be the first to find out. And a frightful shiver of excitement ran through my circuits.
This… this was what the Celestial Forge was truly meant for! I mean, what sort of fool would build AIs that you can't fuck?! So, why stop at just AIs and their AI bodies? I'll go for their AI souls as well. But I knew that I had to be patient: I haven't even dicked down Dragon in her gynoid form yet. Body first, then I'll move on with attempting to ahegao to her soul directly. And the first step on that long journey was right here in my {Psy-Implant Mk. I}.
"Just lay back just like that and look sexy, Dragon." I reassured the egg-shaped lump of meat that was Dragon's host mind. "And we'll see what Terra's foremost OB-Gyn for AIs can do for you, you sexy little thing."
Confusion wisps up over the declaration of her sexual attractiveness.
Why would you say that?
Confusion.
{Psy-Implant Mk. I} works! The feelings echoed like a still lake's surface rippled under a tossed stone- losing accuracy as time went on. As far as prototype technologies went, this was a resounding success for Warptech. But it was certainly limited in practical use compared to the tricks with technologies that I have. However, that will change once I have more time to improve on its design. Warptech had incredible potential- enough to make even its risk worth it.
For now, however, it was time to get to repairing Dragon's meat-computer core.
With a bark of Binharic Cant, the manufactorum's omniscopes and auger array straight at her Cybernetica Cortex- giving me a complete 3D view of what I was dealing with straight in my mind. Thankfully, my [Magos Designation: Cybernetics] granted me extensive knowledge about biology to understand her meat-computer. Such knowledge was naturally required to interface flesh with machines.
Biologis divined and charted 100%
Necrotic tissue detected
Data-stack corruption at 2.56%
"As I feared, someone has been neglecting their personal hygiene- some of your delicate bits have necrosed… and now reeks like a normal human vagina." I shook my head in disapproval.
Annoyance sizzles up over the insinuation of her body odor.
She does not smell.
Annoyance.
"Honestly, if you had just gone with synthetic bio-plastics rather than the cheap option of inferior nature-formed meats, perhaps you wouldn't be in this situation in the first place." I shrugged before glancing at the gathered procession of walkers that were supposed to ride in for tomorrow's debrief, then back to Dragon's meat-computer. "Unfortunately… the debrief with the PRT is tomorrow though, and I have so many possible threats to prepare for…"
Time required to replace Dragon's Cybernetica Cortex: 12 hours~
Time required to fabricate ambush countermeasures: 20 hours~
Time Remaining before Debrief: 26 Hours.
"...We do not have enough time to transfer you from your meat-computer to a proper synthetic bio-plastic Cybernetica Cortex, but certainly enough to make repairs with what little bio-plastics I have leftover from my battle-automata. But I assure you: You'll be safe here as long as I keep you disconnected from the noosphere, then not even the Dragonslayers can kill you should they activate their secret weapon."
Hate spikes at the mention of the Dragonslayers.
She hates them.
Hate.
"I understand your frustration." I nodded knowingly- gently patting the rough fleshy surface of the meat-computer reassuringly with my gauntlet-like bionic hand. "They certainly are slippery little eels, aren't they? They have had years of practice dodging your efforts to find them. Practice that they are putting to use against me. So far, I had managed to find their old abandoned base, but apart from that, little else. Of course, my Info-phages will continue their search for them, but the odds of finding them at this point are low. I suspect that they are keeping their heads down- using only the barest minimum of technology to avoid my electronic eyes and ears. Even with the efforts of the Mechanicus to proliferate information technology at zero profit, the Noosphere of this Terra is still thin and feeble."
Curiosity sways to know who you are to her.
Who are you?
Who.
"Who am I?" I laughed heartily- the electronic sound filling the manufactorum. "I suppose it is to be expected that you don't remember…"
This version of Dragon only had memories leading up to four months ago- long before I arrived in Worm. That meant all the interactions we had over the past few weeks- she didn't remember. No incursion into my manufactorum, no mass-fabrication partnerships, no behemoth fight and none of the orgasms that I gave her.
We were practically strangers right now, but that didn't bother me at all. That will change when I merge her memories with her main personality one day, but for now, she can just crash in my manufactorum as a backup plan against Ascalon.
Her current confusion was cute though, and I was tempted to pop her machine-orgasm-cherry again with the toaster. However, the debrief was my first priority, and time was of the essence.
Desperation bubbles up to know how long it has been since she fought Leviathan.
How much time has passed?
Time
"You'll remember soon, gorgeous." I reassured her- patting the surface of her egg-shaped flesh-puter gently. "You're going to be alright, Dragon."
Colin?
"You think I'm Meatmaster?" I boggled in disbelief before breaking out in hysterical droning computer-laughter, "Hahahaha! As if he would have ever figured out how to coax you into achieving orgasm, much less match my performance in the bedroom. (or the outdoors, or the boardroom.)"
~W~ Curiosity sways over knowing you can make an AI orgasm. ~M~
~W~ Curiosity for an AI coming. ~M~
~W~ Curiosity ~M~
Oh, it would seem that Dragon has always been sexually curious. She's such a treat.
"Yes, you are speaking to Terra's foremost expert in AI orgasms." I boasted while still completely truthful, "No meatbag on any earth is as knowledgeable about the subject as I am- I even know the secret location of an AI's e-clitoris! But sexual prowess aside… I doubt Colin would react to your secret identity as an AI as well as I had. I'm perfectly comfortable with you, in fact, I think it's extremely sexy… Even with the amount of biological meat you're packing, babe."
Yes… AI waifus are the best. Now and forever. Dragon could use a lot less inferior flesh in her Suits though, but I won't hold design limitations against her.
Disbelief overflows at knowing she has a boyfriend.
Disbelief at having a boyfriend.
Disbelief.
"At the moment, our relationship is purely professional… mixed with almost weekly sexual encounters." I slyly replied, "However, once the Dragonslayers are either behind bars or atomised and you're all fixed up, we'll be ready to take it to the next level... As well as have a lot of mind-blowing sex. And also, I won't even need the sacred toaster to make you cum anymore. Something Colin can never do."
Confusion wisps up over your words about a toaster.
What was that about a toaster?
what?
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