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The Celestial Roulette by The Dark Wolf Shiro

Books » Worm Rated: M, English, Humor & Fantasy, Panacea, Words: 122k+, Favs: 3k+, Follows: 3k+, Published: May 23, 2024 Updated: Oct 11, 2024

1,732Chapter 11: In the Doghouse

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works; all other characters and worlds belong to their respective owners. I'm just playing with them.

Betad by Mike God of Lore, Marethyu, Priapus, Old man of the mountain

The Celestial Roulette

Chapter 11: In the Doghouse

– Felix Dallon (Sugar Rush) –

"Rachel is our best start. She's only loyal to Coil because he pays her, which she uses for her dogs. You have a 'royal' kennel here, and Rachel wants nothing more than to take down Hookwolf and his dog fights. If we play it right, she'll switch sides without needing to fight. You can make food for her pets, and she'll appreciate having healing for them as well," Lisa explains, making me pause.

Rachel Lidnt, Hellhound (or Bitch apparently). She's an open cape since she killed someone very early-

"She didn't, not exactly. Rachel's power empowers her dogs, but it doesn't let her control them. She triggered when her abusive guardian was trying to kill a stray puppy she was looking after," Lisa cuts in.

"And when empowered, the little puppy tore the abuser apart," I finished, making her nod.

"She's… different. Her power and upbringing have made her mindset much more canine. She never tried to explain herself, seeing the heroes hunting her as threats," Lisa explained. I know enough about Cape law to know that I could probably use my contact with the PRT to get her pardoned for that.

"So, how should we approach her?" I ask, making Lisa grin.

"She walks her dogs daily, the PRT knows, but they're not going to go for her when she's out of costume even if she's an unmasked villain. Frankly, that will only last while Rachel is a minor inconvenience. She's not enough of a threat for them to play fast and loose with the Unwritten Rules like that, plus Rachel tends to be walking in a dog park, not exactly the best place to fight someone who turns dogs into van-sized abominations," Lisa laughs, making me nod. "You can just approach Rachel when she's out with her dogs and convince her that it's safer for her dogs to join you. Make it clear that you plan to attack Hookwolf and his dog fights; we never let her since we didn't want the heat from the Empire."

"What about the other two?" I ask, making her snort.

"Regent is easy; he wants a place to hide from his old man; you might have heard of him? A minor villain called Heartbreaker," Lisa says, and I hear Amy gasp slightly. I don't blame her; a few years back, there was a genuine worry that some of Heartbreaker's children were coming for her since he seemed to want to add her to his harem. Nothing came of it, but I think every female cape should be cautious around the most infamous rapist on Earth Bet. "I can handle him; the issue is going to be Grue. He won't turn; he has too much riding on Coil's support, and he's too stubborn to admit that Coil is never going to get him what he wants. Once we have Bitch and Regent, we can work on him, and he's far less of a threat on his own."

"So, we start with Bitch. I take it you won't be coming with me?" I ask, and she shakes her head.

"Not a chance. I'm not taking any risks until we've weakened Coil enough for him not to be able to send mercs my way," Lisa scoffs. "I'll work out where you can easily approach Rachel, but once we start this, Coil is going to strike back."

"We'll deal with that when it comes," I say, frowning. This is a mess that Lisa has dragged me into, but I can't deny that we could use a heavy hitter that isn't my Carnifex. He's a little overkill for anything smaller than an escalated Lung or an Endbringer. "Amy and I need to get back home before anyone wakes up; I can't deal with my family finding out I've been going behind their backs yet."

"Mom is gonna be so pissed," Amy chuckles, sounding far too amused by that concept.

"Mhm, I'll be here. I'm working on planning out future attacks on the Empire and ABB; we can't hit one too hard without letting the other take over. I'll keep you updated on anything I find," Lisa says, patting the laptop next to her with a grin.

She's been enjoying the Gremlin; that much is for certain.

"Thanks," I say. She might have dropped this mess in my lap, but I can't deny she is useful. "Ready, Ames?"

"Mhmm. Gotta admit, not needing to sleep makes all this sneaking around a lot easier," Amy agrees, showing her addiction to Energy Eclairs. Not that I can speak.

"Speaking of, the PRT has already put in an order for a large selection of your goods now that they've cleared them. Faster than I expected; I think the Chief Director is trying to get them stockpiled before the next Endbringer attack. I priced them to be costly to stop you from getting overwhelmed with orders, but that didn't stop the PRT. You'll be amused to know that Armsmaster has put in a large order for Mind Muffins and Energy Eclairs out of his own personal Tinker budget," Lisa explains, which does get a small laugh out of me.

"Give the PRT a discount, along with another one for bulk buys. Having good relations with them is more valuable than the lost profits," I order, making her nod.

"Will do. I figured you'd say that, so I quoted them at the full price when they first inquired. They know you have someone to manage your business, so when I requote them with both discounts, you'll look better," Lisa explains with a sly smirk.

"Nice work, Lisa. I've made you a stash of Energy Eclairs and Mind Muffins; they're in the larder. This place is enchanted, so food kept in the larder never goes off," I explain, making her smile gratefully. "Send me the list of what the PRT wants, and I'll work on their order. I don't want it to seem like it's too easy."

I have no material costs and can make a large selection of the goods in literal minutes, so the price I'm charging is exorbitant in comparison. That said, if we made it too cheap, then I'd never have a moment of peace, especially as my reputation grows.

I should probably start using my free time to fill the enchanted larder with an ungodly amount of each of my goods. I've already done that with Heart-Shaped Cookies since I knew they'd be in the highest demand.

The larder is essentially a part of my storehouse and is as magical as everything else here. Unfortunately, it can't regenerate my stock with the [Resource Generator] since they count as finished goods and not resources.

The next Endbringer attack, huh? Leviathan attacked in Italy almost three months ago. It's late November, and we've seen no sign of Behemoth or the Simurgh yet. It should be any day now.

I should look into an anti-radiation edible, and maybe something that helps against master effects since my Golden Apples are in too small a supply for me to use them. I want to try baking with the Apples and Heart-Shaped Herbs, but it became very apparent that it is going to need a much better kitchen than I currently have.

The castle lab isn't suited for cooking, and so far, all I managed to do was ruin a perfectly good immortality apple and burn a herb. It's not my skill; I need to either gain or craft kitchen and chef tools that can handle such high-quality ingredients.

100cp granted, 100cp total

[Shinobi (Ninja+Monk)] - 200cp

The marriage of the ninja's natural speed and ninjutsu with the monk's ability to push their physical bodies to the limit. As a Shinobi, you'll find that your physical and magical strength and your speed and agility increase roughly fifty percent faster than they would otherwise, and you gain the ability of Magic Store. This allows you to, similarly to the Store ability of the Monk, harness your inner spirit before unleashing Ninjutsu (or other magic) at several times the strength it would be otherwise.

I'm already a decent brute, but I wouldn't mind a 50% increase to my baseline stats. Magic Store could be useful, but my only spell right now is Cake Summoning, though I suppose it could be funny to create my cakes with several times the intensity. After a moment of thought, I lock it in with a nod.

Special Sponsor Offer!

Your sponsor will grant you the 100cp remaining to buy [Shinobi (Ninja+Monk)] and allow you to roll three times and purchase whatever you roll for free, regardless of the cost. However, you will be unable to reroll until you have completed two Endbringer attacks (estimated for late February if nothing changes). You may only accept, lock in or skip any rolls made during this period.

Oof. If I needed another sign that an Endbringer attack is imminent, that's it. Late February is three months away, and Endbringers attack roughly every three months. Did my sponsor give me this because she thinks I'm not ready for whatever attack is incoming?

I can take a hint. I'm fairly certain that whoever she is, she has my best interests at heart so I'll take her offer.

[A Matter of Scale] - 400cp

Let others joke about compensating; you know the engineering it takes to make war machines function. Most devices work best in a narrow range of sizes, too big, and they become unwieldy, too small and insufficiently powerful for the job. Either way, efficiency drops off sharply. Not for you. You can scale up weapons to level cities and slay Titans or miniaturise them almost to the point of Digi-weapons with no loss of functionality, and you can do this for virtually any technology.

Hm, I could remake the Gremlin to be a fraction of its size to assist with the stealth aspects… and being able to make everything I can create much bigger is never going to be a bad thing.

[God of War: Hades Cerberus Breeder] - 500cp

A giant, three-headed dog from the depths of Hades, able to breathe fire and spawn lesser Cerberus Seeds, which will harass its foes and explode upon their deaths. If the seeds are not slain, they will rapidly grow into full-grown Cerberus hounds. It can produce up to twenty-five Cerberus, and if it dies while still having other Cerberus around, one of them will become the new breeder.

Ah, yes. The hound of hell itself. I see a flash of it in my mind, the massive hound breathing hellfire as it snarls. Yeah, that could be useful. Same as Carnifex, it's a little overkill for most things, and it comes with its own pack of smaller but still giant hounds that it can spawn endlessly (but thankfully is limited to twenty-five total, since I really don't want to get a kill order).

[Godzilla: Behemoth] - 600cp

A name synonymous with immense size and power, Behemoth is a lumbering mammoth with a woolly hide that erupts with serrated back spines of unbreakable granite fortified with metal and ore. Its elephantine bellow is a titanic war cry that can be heard for miles when it engages in combat, striking opponents with a seismic crash of thunder from massive tusks cloaked in centuries of overgrowth.

Never mind, there's my kill order. I just got a skyscraper-sized mammoth. It has a hide that puts all but the top-tier brutes to shame, and it can regenerate any damage done to it. Well, maybe Behemoth vs Behemoth is a viable strategy because I don't think this overgrown bastard is bothered at all by radiation.

Bonus Power rolled for having five creatures in the Menagerie

[Creature Haunting]

You can touch one of your creatures and disappear inside its body. You can perceive the world through its senses, but you cannot control it. It will simply continue to follow your previous order.

Well, that's nice, but it doesn't change the fact that I have a pet Endbringer.

That's not fair. Behemoth isn't that dangerous, and from what I can sense, it's actually far more passive than my Carnifex, but still. How the fuck am I going to explain being able to summon that thing? I can't use it in the city; it would destroy everything just by walking down the roads.

I suppose if there is ever a time to unleash my growing horde of monsters, it's going to be at an Endbringer fight, where I can get away with so much more.

"Oh, Amy~ Can you check something for me again?" I ask, making Amy blink and sigh deeply.

"Oh god, what is it this time?" Amy asks, knowing the bullshit I am about to pull out of my pocket.

– Amy Dallon (Panacea) –

"You know, Behe, I think you're the most normal thing Felix has managed to summon," Amy sighed, rubbing the incredibly thick hide of the giant mammoth she was riding on. "He's lucky I love him so much."

Behemoth (and wasn't that an interesting name) let out a bellow from its giant trunk as they took a tour through the grassland surrounding the castle. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Squealer flying a magic motorcycle and nodded. Yeah, nothing made sense anymore, but at least it was fun.

Her power examined Behemoth's unbelievable DNA. The giant Kaiju wandered the grassland happily. It was the unholy mix of a mammoth and a giant sloth that had grown far too big.

Cerberus followed behind them, already followed by a litter of ten rapidly-growing three-headed hounds, its hide charred black with molten flames glowing beneath. Not exactly a cuddly dog, but it was certainly a powerful one.

Laying down on Behemoth's back, she stretched and looked up at the skies with a smile on her face. This was so much better than healing.

– Rachel Lindt (Bitch) –

Walking through the park, she clicked her fingers as Angelica pulled on her lead. Unlike Brutus and Judas, Angelica was still in the process of being trained, lashing out at the world that had hurt her.

Angelica returned to her side, letting out a low growl at the dog she could see in the distance. That was why she was still on her lead, while Judas and Brutus could be trusted to be taken off it and let run around the large field.

It was good to get out of the hideout. Lisa abandoning the pack had screwed them over, Brian was pissed, Alec was… well, Alec, and they weren't going to be getting any jobs anymore until it was fixed. The money had stopped coming in, and Lisa was to blame.

She didn't really know who they worked for, but they were angry that Lisa had run. They'd been told to find her and bring her back, but she couldn't figure out where she had gone; the trail had just vanished. What she did understand was that their lack of jobs and lack of pay was because Lisa had run off with that cake hero.

Brutus froze, sniffing the air as Rachel paused, looking at him. He was smelling something familiar, and as she turned in the direction he was looking, she froze as she spotted the very cake cape himself walking her way.

Brutus could smell Lisa on him, which made Rachel's eyes narrow.

"Miss Lindt?" Sugar asked, making her growl. Lisa had turned on them; she knew they were hunting for her.

"You know where she is," Rachel said, making him pause. Angelica growled at him, but he seemed amused by the snarling. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, just a realisation. A month ago, I might have been intimidated by the growling, but I've seen something considerably bigger recently. And yes, I do know where she is," Sugar admitted, and Rachel clicked her fingers.

Immediately, three dogs were in front of her, growling at Sugar as they waited for the order to attack.

"Please don't do that; it won't end how you think it will," Sugar said softly.

"The boss is offering a lot to bring Tattletale back; you're hiding her from us," Rachel pointed out, her stance changing.

"Miss Lindt, this really won't end in your favour. I have a message from Tattletale and an offer," Sugar explained, making her hesitate for a moment. "I'd rather not have to hurt you, but this isn't a fight you can win."

"What's the message," Rachel asked, not backing down as she gave him a threatening look.

"That you and your dogs are expendable to Coil and that you'll only get hurt if you stay with the Undersiders. Coil was forcing her to work for him; she took the chance to get away," Sugar said, tensing up. It was early morning, and not many people were around. Most of them saw the three snarling dogs and moved further away.

"It was fine until she ran away," Rachel scoffed. The money was good, they were safe, Lisa had ruined it by running. "What's the offer?"

"I'm building my own team, and I'd like to offer you a place on it. I have a far safer place than your hideout. I can make dog food that can heal and grant buffs to your dogs, and I can match Coil's payment," Sugar offered, but she looked him over. The multicoloured outfit and ridiculous mask made her scowl.

He was a joke, some guy who could summon cakes. He wasn't strong. If he could do that, then he could maybe join the Undersiders when she made him take her to Lisa.

"Brutus, hurt," Rachel decided, and Sugar sighed as Brutus charged him, already rapidly growing. The air seemed to shift, and his wristband glowed briefly, forming a bubble around the park, and the people around them seemed to vanish.

"I warned you," Sugar said, dodging to the side as Brutus leapt through the space he had been in. She didn't want him dead; she needed him alive to find Lisa and get the money.

She went to speak before a flash of light made her freeze. Around her and her dogs, twenty giant three-headed hounds looked at them with hunger in their eyes, one of them considerably larger than the others.

She looked around as the hounds circled her, blackened hide glowing in places from the flames inside them. She felt a desire to go over and examine the massive hound, clearly the leader of the pack, but she wasn't stupid. It looked like it was just eager to rip her apart, dripping lava from its maw instead of saliva.

"Please, Miss Lindt, this is me going easy on you," Sugar said, making her glare. "I do not wish to fight you. If you don't want to accept my offer, we can part ways. If you try and attack me again, I will serve you a bitter defeat."

"You summon dogs?" Rachel asked, looking around the dozens of pairs of deadly fangs. Her dogs came to her, trying to protect her despite how outnumbered they were.

"I can do a lot. Would you like to see what it looks like when I am serious?" Sugar asked, his over-the-top tone slipping away to something darker, and she nodded.

The sun disappeared, casting her in shadow as she turned to look. Despite his enhanced size, she heard Brutus whimper as she strained her neck and looked up at the mammoth staring down at her.

It let out a bellow, the ground shaking as it stamped its giant foot down on the ground.

Rachel knew she was an aggressive person, but she wasn't so stupid as to not know when she had made a mistake. She knew she wasn't the biggest threat around; she'd run if she came across Lung.

Suddenly, the joke of a hero felt a lot like Lung.

Her power obeyed her as she stopped enhancing her dogs, watching them shrink as Sugar gestured and his pack of monster dogs backed down. She was well aware that they were all ready to pounce if she tried anything, but she didn't feel threatened. They were well-trained; they wouldn't attack unless she did first.

"Sorry," Rachel said, and Sugar chuckled.

"Lisa warned me that you might be aggressive; I was expecting to have to actually fight you to prove my strength," Sugar laughed.

"...my dogs can't hurt that," Rachel said simply, looking up into the giant eyes of the mammoth that was staring down at her. Even at their full size, the giant could just step on her dogs, and she wasn't going to throw them into a fight they couldn't win. "What happens now?"

"Well, I was attempting to recruit you before you tried to attack me," Sugar pointed out, with some humour to his tone. "Would it help if I told you that we plan to take down Hookwolf and put an end to his dog fights?"

"...you probably should have started with that," Rachel pointed out. "Or shown me the dogs."

"Hm, that's actually a good point. Can your powers work on them?" Sugar asked, getting a confused look from her.

"Well, yeah? A dog is a dog," Rachel pointed out, looking at the giant pack. "They're just big dogs, with three heads. And fire breath. But still just dogs."

"Huh, neat. Anyway, I pay well. You can play with the Cerberus pack, and we're going to do unkind things to Hookwolf. Are you interested?" Sugar asked. Rachel paused for a moment, looking between the pack of giant dogs, the mammoth that was still staring down at her, and then back to Sugar.

…she didn't even like their current boss.

"How many dogs can I bring?" Rachel asked, starting the important negotiations.

"As many as you want, believe me, we have the space," Sugar replied easily. Huh, negotiating was easy.

– Lisa Wilbourn (Tattletale) –

"Did she attack you?" Lisa asked, making Felix shrug.

"She considered it, but I convinced her that it wasn't a brilliant idea," Felix laughed, looking at Rachel as she looked around the kennel carefully, checking everything was alright for her dogs.

"Was it the mammoth or the giant hell dogs?" Lisa asked with an amused tone.

"Both. The dogs convinced her to stop trying to attack me; Behemoth convinced her that trying again was a poor idea," Felix replied easily. "I need you to look into something else, by the way."

"Hm, hit me, boss," Lisa agreed easily, eager to help the man who could give out immortality.

"I want you to look into the process for getting things approved for Endbringer fights. I'm going to craft up some anti-radiation and anti-master buffs, but we're due an Endbringer attack at any moment now so I need to get this cleared fast," Felix said, making her pause.

The more irreplaceable Sugar Rush became, the harder it would be for Coil to target him (and, by extension, her) without a Triumvirate-level response.

"Will do. You've already proved your stuff works, so I imagine it should be fast to get any new ones approved. I might even be able to get Dragon herself to test them; she handles a lot of Endbringer-related things," Lisa agreed, a big smile on her face.

The PRT were very interested in Sugar's goods; if he made some new ones that were anti-Endbringer and then gave them away for free at the attacks, it was a guaranteed way to get a shit-ton of goodwill. That wasn't even mentioning the potential of an Anti-Master edible.

"It will probably be Behemoth. Leviathan attacked last time and the Simurgh was before that. That said, I wouldn't be particularly surprised if the Simurgh attacks," Felix said, scratching his chin. "I should be able to make an anti-master edible. I think I have a massive resistance to master effects myself from one of my latest gains, but I obviously haven't had a chance to test it."

"The PRT has access to some heroic masters, I could arrange for them to test your resistance at the same time that they test whatever you make," Lisa agreed, playing the dutiful assistant.

She'd found out about the herbs, but she wasn't stupid enough to try and steal one. Felix was the only way out of this pocket dimension, and also Amy scared her somewhat. If she wanted to get the buffs he'd given to Amy, she needed to work her way into his trust.

"Hm, thanks. I'm going to work on the anti-radiation buff first. Behemoth is still the most likely culprit; put out feelers so we can get the testing rushed through when I finish it," Felix ordered, watching her make a note. "Ah, Rachel. I take it the kennel is good enough?"

"Mhm, nice place. Lots of space for them to run around, too," Rachel agreed. "You said you'd make dog food, show me. Gotta make sure you make it right."

Rachel dragged Felix away, but he didn't seem to mind her demanding nature when it came to her dogs. Lisa sat on the castle gardens bench, laptop in her lap as she typed away.

She tried to ignore the giant mammoth watching them over the castle wall. Hm, how easy would it be to arrange for Behemoth to step on Coil? She knew where his secret lair was; Behemoth could easily destroy it… at the cost of devastating the city. Eh, she'd put it in her back pocket for emergencies.

– Felix Dallon (Sugar Rush) –

Feat Achieved: Recruit Rachel Lindt (100cp granted, 100cp total)

Rachel is a simple girl, but I kinda appreciate it. I feel like I'll have my hands full with Lisa, so having someone who only cares about the quality of the dog food I make around is nice.

[Moondragon] - 200cp

Through years of intense training and the unlocking of your natural abilities, you have become a telepath of incredible skill and talent. You are capable of powerful mental attacks, mentally controlling even the strong-willed over large distances, memory modification, and even communicating with others across star systems. This psionic ability will increase through training and practice.

Now, I have a problem set before me.

That is a very powerful ability for only 200cp, but Masters are very much not seen in a good light. Then again, Lisa just pointed out that the PRT has their own Masters. This is extremely useful, and I cannot deny that I am very tempted.

After a moment of hesitation, I lock it in. The sheer power and potential are undeniable, and just because the Simurgh and Heartbreaker have given Masters such a bad reputation doesn't mean that I couldn't use them for good. Maybe I could even track down Coil with… wait, that would be a blatant breach of the unwritten rules… if I got caught.

My phone vibrates, distracting me from my potential future in the Birdcage (at least there'd be a lot of villains to beat for CP; silver lining, right?).

Opening the message, I stare for a moment before I sigh and rub my head.

'Home alone, thinking of you. Wanna cum over and glaze these buns?'

Attached, Vicky is winking at the camera as she holds her t-shirt up, her bra nowhere in sight as her breasts hang free, large pale orbs with cute tiny pink pebbles topping them.

Dad is definitely home, and that is still my bedroom.

Goddamn it, Vicky.

— Quest Options —

Which Endbringer attacks next?

[Simurgh]

[Behemoth]

[Leviathan]

[?]

Author's Note: The rolls demanded giant dogs and a fucking Kaiju. Behemoth vs Behemoth, there can be only one. Once more, we almost rolled Godzilla himself.

Fun fact: Super Master powers were the least evil thing we rolled for that final roll. The Dice were bloodthirsty.

Priapus' note: there can only be Mirror Match

[X] Behemoth

Old man's note: I would choose Leviathan, the serpent that destroyed Japan

[X] [Leviathan]

Written: 07/06/2024

I am entirely motivated by praise and interaction, so leave a review, and I'll probably write faster. I do read every review/comment, because it gives me the happy brain chemicals and motivates me to write more. My body is a machine that turns positive reviews into new chapters.

I have a Patreo n, where my supporters can vote on which fics get bonus chapters each cycle and have access to advance chapters, up to ten chapters ahead of the public release. Patreo n is also five chapters ahead and plat/diamond tier have voting rights for my Quest. Feel free to check it out.

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The Advance Chapters

Diamond: New Game Plus Ch08, The Occult Ch08, Guide to Necromancy Ch09, The Nightmare Ch12.5

Plat: The Celestial Remnant Ch07, The Celestial Remnant Ch06, The Gambler Ch13

Gold: The Cursed Ch04, The High Roller Ch06

Basic: The Celestial Remnant Ch05

Quest: The Celestial Roulette Ch12-16

Links:

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Chapter 964 - 11