"No good," Sirius muttered to himself, pacing the polished floor of his inherited mansion.
"Looks like I blew up my chances."
He ran a hand through his silver hair, frustration etched on his handsome face.
"Should I just confess that I'm a transmigrator and ruin the plot?"
He scoffed at the thought.
"But with my reputation, they'll just mark me as delusional."
He sighed, his plan now in utter disarray.
On his side, his notebook lay open, filled with meticulously scribbled strategies that had all just crumbled.
Rejected by both Rias and Sona's sides, he currently had no viable option.
The plot was progressing, alarmingly fast.
Hyoudou Issei, oblivious to his fate, would likely awaken his Sacred Gear on his date with that sadist Fallen Angel, Raynare, any day now.
"I really need to get strong and find protection somehow," he murmured, the words heavy with desperation.
He sighed again, recollecting his thoughts, his eyes scanning the chaotic notes in his notebook.
After a few hours, nearing midnight, Sirius still hadn't come up with any plausible plans other than moving away from Kuoh.
But that, too, presented unknown variables.
He wouldn't know what dangers lurked outside the city, outside the familiar narrative he knew.
He was pulled between the terrifying idea of leaving Kuoh, venturing into the unknown, or staying in Kuoh, where he knew what would happen, but it was a guaranteed hotspot of supernatural events.
His brain, exhausted from the day's failures and the constant, low hum of existential dread, could handle no more thinking.
He just gave up, letting his future self handle it, and finally succumbed to sleep for the day.
************
The next morning, Sirius woke up as usual, the soft sunlight filtering through the mansion's large windows.
He stretched, a yawn escaping him, and reached for his phone on the nightstand.
His current self's phone was an old-school flip phone, supposedly the "latest model" of its kind.
He missed his past life's full touchscreen, sleek device, the effortless scrolling through memes on the internet.
This flip phone, though it could access the internet, was incredibly slow compared to what he was used to.
Yeah, this current world of Highschool DxD era really has older technology, he mused, a familiar pang of nostalgia hitting him.
As he grabbed the corner of his bed near the cabinet, his fingers brushed against something.
Yep, flip phone? he thought, expecting the familiar boxy feel.
But what he grabbed was different. It was a sleek, modern, full touchscreen phone, completely unbranded, with no logo on it.
"What the heck is going on?" Sirius mumbled, still half-asleep, staring at the anomaly in his hand. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked again
It was real.
He bolted upright, suddenly wide awake, his heart hammering in his chest.
He quickly booted up the phone.
The screen displayed the time, but aside from the standard call, internet browser, and notes apps, there was a strange, new application.
Its icon was shaped like a swirling portal.
Being so unnatural, so unbranded, this phone sent his pulse racing.
Maybe this is it!
My transmigrator perks!
My cheat!!!
he thought, a surge of frantic hope overriding yesterday's problem and despair.
"Calm down Sirius, Let's check it first before drawing conclusions."
Suuu– Phew.
He took a deep breath and opened the app.
What showed was a clean, minimalist UI.
A human-shaped silhouette was at the center.
In the upper left corner, a zero gleamed, likely a point counter or currency indicator.
Below the silhouette were five empty box slots,
labeled "Trait Slots," and three smaller empty box slots, labeled "Quick Swap."
On the side menu, he clicked "Inventory," which was currently empty.
"Looks like a simple equipment slot."
Then his eyes landed on a button labeled "Daily Rewards."
"Daily Rewards? Does this mean I'll get Daily Items or Abilities that I can add to those slots!!"
His feelings skyrocketed.
He clicked it.
A note appeared on the screen:
"A note? Let's see what it says.."
____
To Kawahara Sirius,
We sincerely apologize for the accidental involvement in a random game by our gods in your previous world.
As an apology, we have transmigrated you to a world you liked, which was apparently the last light novel you were reading during class.
This phone will be bound to you, indestructible, and we've added perks for you to gain abilities via this device.
____
Sirius's jaw dropped.
Accidental involvement? Gods? Light novel?
This was beyond anything he'd imagined.
Confirming this was indeed his cheat item, he read further, then, with trembling fingers, clicked the "Daily Rewards" button.
"Oooh!!"
The phone performed a dazzling card-drawing animation, complete with digital fanfare.
Then, it displayed the results.
"Eh?"
Sirius's expression, which had been a mix of awe and disbelief, suddenly turned utterly strange as he looked at the cards.
"Ain't this just memes?!" he shouted, a bewildered laugh escaping him.
The images on the screen showed: a dog with a baseball bat, Vergil sitting on a monobloc chair, and an UNO Reverse Card.
Below the drawn cards, a final note appeared:
Since you enjoyed browsing memes so much, we've set it so you will draw some items from those memes, with various effects. Enjoy your journey!
"What kind of cheat is this!!"
Sirius screamed at the top of his lungs as his voice echoed in his empty mansion.
*******
"Heh, heh, heh," Sirius's dry, almost hysterical laugh continued to echo in his spacious room.
He held his head in disbelief, his silver hair falling over his eyes.
His supposed cheat item will be these meme items?
He'd imagined the usual overpowered cheats, like the protagonists in countless fanfics he'd devoured – instant mastery of magic, a system that granted stats, a legendary bloodline.
Not... this.
He just sighed, giving up on the notion of a conventional cheat.
He couldn't do anything about it.
His fate, it seemed, was tied to the absurd.
He then returned his focus to the phone.
With a newfound, albeit reluctant, curiosity, he tapped on the first meme card he'd drawn.
Its name was Doge Bonk Bat.
The image showed the typical, popular Shiba Inu meme, wearing a small, determined expression, holding a baseball bat.
Sirius scrolled down, reading the details:
<><><><>
Doge Bonk Bat
Details:
When equipped, the user can summon the Bonk Bat. Perverted or horny enemies will receive multiplied damage based on their level of pervertedness or horniness.
When hit, it can immediately suppress their horniness and stun them for 20 seconds.
The enemy, during the stunned state, will receive further increased damage, but each hit will decrease the stun time and the enemy will not be able to stunned again unless it recover its perverted nature and horniness.
It will be just a normal bat on non-perverted or non-horny enemies.
Trait: Normal
Category: Weapon
Uses: Infinite
Meme Points Needed: None
Dismantling Return Points: 10
<><><><>
Sirius's eyes twitched as he read the details.
"The heck is Meme Points?" he muttered, a new question surfacing.
He returned to the main UI panel and tapped on the '0' in the upper left corner, which he now realized was his Meme Point counter.
A brief explanation appeared:
<><>
MEME Points (Multiversal Entity Manipulation Energy points):
Used to fuel some items drawn in the daily rewards. Can also be used to upgrade your base stats.
<><>
The explanation was short, almost dismissive.
Well, that explains the '0', he thought.
And the 'None' cost for this bat.
For testing, Sirius dragged the Doge Bonk Bat meme card into one of the three "Quick Swap" weapon slots, seeing that its category was indeed 'weapon'.
The card settled into the slot with a soft, satisfying click, and Sirius felt a subtle, almost imperceptible shift, like a new connection had been forged within him.
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and with his mind, he tried to summon the bat.
For a moment, his right hand glowed with a faint, almost imperceptible golden light.
When the glow faded, his empty hand now held a sleek, perfectly weighted wooden baseball bat. It felt real, solid, and strangely... right.
Seeing this, Sirius's eyes widened, then became genuinely excited.
This was it.
This was his cheat.
It was utterly ridiculous, completely insane, but it was real.
And it was his.
What if he drawn some of the overpowered ones in the memes he viewed and read in his past life.