SYSTEM ERROR: UNKNOWN SKILL DETECTED]
I died choking on a convenience store meat bun - and woke up to a goddess staring at me with heart-shaped eyes.
"My beloved!" She clasped my hands, her divine robes fluttering. "I've waited millennia for-"
THUNK.
A black scythe embedded itself between us. The Demon Lord licked her lips as she tore it free. "Mine."
[Fateweaver's Charm Activated!]
[Targets: Goddess of Love (Lv. ???), Demon Lord (Lv. ???)]
...I want a refund on this reincarnation."
---
The temple walls shook as the two most powerful beings in existence started brawling over me. Crystal pillars shattered as the goddess blocked a scythe strike with her bare hands.
"Heaven's Light!"
"Abyssal Cleave!"
I dove behind what remained of an altar as their attacks collided, vaporizing the ceiling. Golden system messages kept flashing:
[Warning: New Harem Member Added!]
[Warning: Territory Damage 89% - Dungeon Collapse Imminent]
A chunk of marble nearly crushed me. *This isn't how I imagined getting isekai'd!*
The goddess teleported in front of me, her perfect face smudged with dust. "Darling, hold my hand! I'll-
The Demon Lord yanked me backward by my collar. "Don't touch my future husband."
Their glares sparked actual lightning. Then suddenly -
[SYSTEM NOTICE: PRIMARY QUEST UPDATED]
"Survive the Dungeon Collapse (Reward: ???)"
The floor gave way.
---
I tumbled through darkness, landing in a heap at the dungeon's lowest level. Something warm and furry nuzzled my hand.
"...A hellhound puppy?"
The monster wagged its tail, dropping a half-eaten demonic boar at my feet. [Tamed: Hellhound (Lv. 45) - Affection 100%]
"Oh come ON!"
---
The village gates exploded inward. A blonde paladin in scorched armor leveled her sword at my throat.
"You're the heretic who corrupted our Goddess."
Her blade trembled. A pink blush spread across her cheeks.
[Fateweaver's Charm: Activation Detected]
"W-why do you... smell like cinnamon rolls?!"
---
Next Time:
• The Holy Church declares me Public Enemy #1
• My accidental hellhound won't stop bringing "gifts" (mostly corpses)
• Why does the Demon Lord keep sending me love letters written in blood?!