Once I believed the most difficult women to face are those who dislike you.
I was wrong.
Sometimes the most difficult women to confront are the ones who have all reasons to hate you.
Yet make the choice to be kind instead.
---
I was headed home from my prenatal yoga class when my phone rang 3 days after Ethan canceled his business trip.
An unknown number.
I would have just rolled my eyes at it.
Instead, I answered.
"Hello?"
A voice was heard that was familiar.
"Grace?"
I stopped walking.
"...Veronica?"
"Yes."
There was a pause.
Yeah, I know, it's a weird thing to say.
A little.
"I'd like to talk."
I wanted to say no but it was in my gut.
Ethan's ex-fiancé was Veronica.
The woman we'd been arguing over before.The woman whose name had been embroiled in a lot of arguments between us.
The woman that Victoria wanted to become a Blackwood.
But there's something about her voice...
She sounded tired.
Not manipulative.
Just... tired.
If you're free, she went on, there's a little café across from your yoga studio.
I peeked out the window.
She had already arrived.
Sitting alone.
No designer sunglasses.
No dramatic entrance.
A woman is standing by the window, sipping her coffee and gazing out.
In 5 mins I'll be here.
---
She was standing when I entered the house.
Thanks for stopping by.
I didn't know whether to go ahead or not.
I wouldn't have faulted you if you had not.
There was an awkward silence as we both sat down.
We weren't sure where to start for a second.
Ultimately, Veronica smiled slightly.
I'm sorry, I owe you an apology.
I did not think it was going to be like that.
"For what?"
"To complicate your life.
She stared at the coffee that was still before her.
I was constantly telling myself, "Ethan needs to get better.I was always telling myself that Ethan just needs to take time.
I listened quietly.
I thought, 'If I remind him of our history, ...'
"...our plans..."
The life we nearly had....
Her smile turned downwards.
He would end up coming back in time.
---
I took my hands to my tea.
"Did you love him?"
She laughed softly.
"I did."
"Very much."
She was gazing out the window of a café.
"But I think..."
She looked for the right words.
"…I loved the man I thought he could be."
I frowned.
"What do you mean?"
Ethan "Was Always Kind.
"Responsible."
"Loyal."
A smile played on her lips.
But he was not... really here.
A silence fell between us that seemed to weigh heavily on the words.
"He would solve all the problems."
Purchasing all thoughtfully designed gifts.
"Keep track of all key dates.
Her eyes met mine.
But never would he let me see what was going on in his heart.
I swallowed.
I understood what she was saying.
---
For years I had believed that if I loved him enough...
"Eventually he would let me in."
She shook her head.
"I was wrong."
I couldn't help but ask myself that question.
"So... what changed?"
Veronica smiled.
"You."
I blinked.
"Me?"
I saw photos from the aquarium!
My cheeks began to get hot.
"It was only pictures, they were."
"No."
She smiled knowingly.
"They weren't."
They were the first pictures I've ever seen of Ethan that he didn't pose for.
I recalled that afternoon.
His laughter.
How he had seen me watching the fish.
His softness in his eyes.
"He didn't know that there were cameras."
Veronica's tone was tender.
"Do you know how rare that is?"
---
"I realized something."
She took a deep breath.
Ethan never looked at me like he looks at you.
I raised my voice to complain.
She held up a hand.
"Please."
"Let me finish."
Now tears were beginning to well up in her eyes.
When I read that, for a long time I thought that it meant I wasn't enough.
Embracing the sadness, she smiled.
"That's not the case,"
"It simply means..."
"It's not "my" guy, I wasn't his person."
Her candor in her words is what broke my heart.
"I'm sorry."
She laughed quietly.
"Don't be."
She rubbed her one eye.
I'd rather he lose him to someone he really loves.
To spend the rest of my life begging for bits of a heart elsewhere.
---
I stared at her.
"He really does like me, right?"
It seemed it was a surprise to her.
"You don't?"
I hesitated.
"I think..."
I smiled nervously.
I believe he's attempting.
"He is."
But to try is not to love.
Veronica leaned forward.
"Grace."
I can't remember when I met Ethan, but it has been nearly 8 years.
He is not afraid of business trips being cancelled.
"He doesn't paint nurseries."
"He hasn't been going to prenatal yoga."
"He doesn't look at women the same way as he looks at you."
She smiled warmly.
"If he had known me he would've sent flowers."
The husband is a man you're married to.
"...shows up."
My voice had gotten croaked and a lump had developed in my throat.
"He still fears."
"I know."
He still manages to get away.
"I know."
But each time he does…
She smiled.
"...he comes back a little faster."
I didn't realize that.
Now she said it...
She was right.
---
She opened her purse.
"Well, I was coming to give you something.
On the table she left a little envelope.
I frowned.
"What's this?"
The contract of our wedding venue.
I looked up in bewilderment.
"Ethan and I took a leap of faith and we booked years ago."
My heart tightened.
I don't want to take it any longer.
She played a little rough with the edge towards me.
I'm not giving it to you because I believe you should use it.
She laughed.
Parking at the location is awful.
Despite myself, I laughed too.
Because is a phrase that is typically used to explain the why of something.
She paused.
"But I'm tired of having to keep lugging around a future that isn't mine."
I slowly pushed it back across the table.
I feel you should get rid of it yourself.
She gazed at me for a long time.
Then smiled.
"You're probably right."
---
When we were about to get up and leave, Veronica's face suddenly darkened.
"One last thing about coming here I wanted to tell you."
I stood up straight when she said that.
"Victoria."
My smile faded.
"What about her?"
Veronica looked around the café before lowering her voice.
"She doesn't lose."
I frowned.
"I know."
"No."
She shook her head.
"I don't think you do."
Her face had turned as white as a sheet of paper.
"Ethan and I broke up when...."
"I believed that she would eventually take it.
"She didn't."
"What happened?"
I got calls from multiple sources but they were all anonymous for months."
Business offers were suddenly not coming back.
So I was voted out of a charity board I had served on, but it was a secret vote.
I stared at her.
Would you have believed that it was Victoria?
"I know she was."
I had a feeling of cold running down my spine.
Why is it you tell me this?
"Because you're pregnant."
Her eyes softened.
"And because Ethan loves you"
The words hit the ground softly.
Not as a warning.
As a fact.
Victoria feels she's guarding her family.
Veronica shook her head sadly.
However, when she feels threatened…
"She doesn't fight out in the open."
"She moves quietly."
The weird sensation I experienced outside the café days before came to my mind.
Of feeling watched.
My stomach tightened.
"Care needs to be taken."
Don't be afraid.
"Be ready," I say.
Outside the café we were standing on the pavement, opposite each other.
The heat of the afternoon sun was on the pavement in between us.
Veronica offered her hand.Veronica held out her hand.
Instead...
I hugged her.
She froze in surprise.
Then gently enclosed me in her arms again.
I whispered, "I hope that someday someone will love you the way you deserve.
She giggled at my shoulder.
"I think..."
She withdrew, the tears streaming down her face.
"Maybe when you met, that's when things will make sense for me."
She left, without looking back.
And somehow...
It didn't feel like the end of a rivalry.
It was like the gentle shutting of one book...
So another could start.
As she went down among the crowd, her last words to me rang in my ears.
Victoria doesn't fight noisily.
She fights patiently.
My hand involuntarily went to my belly.
It's been a while now...
It was a warm afternoon, but suddenly just a little colder.