It was lunch break.
Sunlight poured down the corridor, warming the tiles under her feet. The smell of food drifted faintly through the air.
Lan held her lunchbox and stood at the doorway of Class 3-7.
She didn't go in.
Just glanced around from outside.
The two seats she was looking for were both empty.
Her eyelid twitched, a quiet throb rising in her chest.
—
"Hey, Mei." She called softly to the class monitor who had just stepped out.
Lan tried to sound casual. "Do you know where Jie and Di are today?"
Mei blinked. She hesitated a second before replying in a low voice, "Di took the day off this morning. I think it's something at home. Jie called in sick—said he wasn't feeling well."
"…I see. Thanks."
Lan smiled, just barely, and turned away.
She walked back to her own classroom step by step, lunchbox still in hand, the steam now fogging up the plastic lid beneath her fingers.
—
She'd expected this.
Ever since last night—since the kiss, the rain, the silence between them—she had a feeling.
She thought she was prepared.
But when Mei said, "They didn't come,"
her heart still dropped.
It felt like solid ground suddenly sinking an inch, not enough to fall, but enough to make her legs wobble.
—
The three of them used to eat lunch together all the time.
They each brought their own food.
Di always ate slowest.
Jie always finished first and immediately started cracking jokes.
Sometimes they traded dishes.
Sometimes they stole from each other's boxes.
Sometimes they just sat in the sun and talked about skipping math.
She had thought those days would last.
Not because they were special—
but because they felt like home.
And now, both of them were gone.
—
Back in her seat, Lan opened her lunchbox.
The food inside looked exactly the same as always. But she couldn't take a bite.
She put down her chopsticks.
Her fingers felt cold. Her stomach felt tight.
She lay her head on her arms and stayed still.
She didn't make a sound.
But her tears slipped quietly down onto her sleeve.
No one noticed.
People around her were eating, chatting, napping, rushing to finish homework.
Only her world had gone completely quiet.
—
She knew this wasn't just about the kiss.
It wasn't about confusion or distance.
It was about her.
It was about that moment she rejected Jie.
That one soft but firm "I'm sorry" that had cracked everything.
She thought it was the right thing to do—to draw a line, to stay safe.
But that line had become a wall.
And that wall had broken something beyond just his heart.
—
She hated herself a little, for thinking it wouldn't matter this much.
If only she had said a little more.
If only she hadn't turned away so quickly.
If only she had been brave enough to face the awkwardness—
Would they still be here?
—
"I'm sorry, Jie," she said in her heart.
"I'm sorry, Di."
"I'm sorry for not realizing how much you both meant to me."
—
She sat up, wiped her eyes.
Her vision was still a little blurry, but her spine was straight now.
Some things couldn't go back.
But not everything had to end like this.
She didn't know where to begin.
She didn't even know if they'd want her there.
But she would try.
Because she couldn't let them go.
Not like this.
—
She looked out the window.
The sky was bright—warm, like nothing had changed.
But she knew better.
Everything had.
Still, she would walk toward them.
Even if it took time.
Even if it was slow, and awkward, and hard.
She would find a way.
To make them whole again.