— What are you waiting for?
— What I am waiting for… — I mechanically repeated the question, as if it were a password to the subconscious. — I don't know.
— No. You know. You just... do not want to accept it.
How convenient it is to hide behind "I don't know", when in fact you know everything down to the smallest detail. When the heart has long since decided, and the brain is simply ashamed to admit this decision.
— I will not go against the others, even if it will cost me my life... — I say, as if it is something noble. Although in reality it is simply tiredness. — Enough of this for me. Why must we forever accept only such decisions?!
— Because your fate depends on it! — the voice sounded as if it was beating its forehead against the walls of my logic. — Or are you suggesting another option?
In the head only one emptiness… this phrase is the only thing I could offer. But I will not go to murders. Not for anything.
— Come to your senses! — my inner "I", like a rejected double of the real me, raised his voice. — Everyone in this game is set against us. You cannot avoid the destined fate. They want to get rid of you!
— Or are you going to endure all these humiliations from their side? — he continued. — Will you allow yourself to be thrown out, like pathetic, no one needed garbage? I feel sick looking at such... a pathetic self.
And on that day I changed.
No, not simply changed.
I disappeared.
In my place remained a shell, into which something new had moved in. Cold. Purposeful. Ready for desperation and steps, from which I, the real one, would have averted my eyes.
A new personality.
A new mask.
A new version of me, created for one goal — a dream.
I accepted it, like a verdict. Voluntarily. And my old "I", the real one, human, full of fear and doubts was... sealed. Buried in the depths. Will not wake up again. I hope.
Such is the price of a dream. If in you remains at least a drop of sympathy, you will not be able to walk this path. You will fall. And will not rise again. You will shatter. And you cannot be glued back together.
To go to the end you need to become a mechanism.
Ruthless. Resolute.
Not thinking.
I am not the only one like this. Yahweh also went through this. And you, you also went through. You also discarded your real self, having strangled the inner voice which begged to stop.
You never were the one who would kill with joy. But you killed. You walked over bodies. You... changed. No, you did not change, you pretended to be yourself. The real you remained there, inside, tied by chains of silence and fear. And yet...
We are the same.
— Precisely because of your essence you now cannot raise a hand against them! — I was saying to myself and simultaneously not to myself. — They feel it. And use it.
— But you have me. — the voice inside me became quieter. But only quieter, not weaker. — I will not allow them to harm you. Even if you yourself want this.
— I will do it instead of you. A perfect crime, to delegate the will to your own shadow. Just trust me. You do trust me more than anyone, after all?
— I am the only one who understands you. Who sees what is happening inside. No one will hear the heart screaming into the void. No one, except me. You are tired. You do not want to be thrown out.
— So why then do you accept their lie? Why do you accept the guilt which is being imposed on you?
— Just rely on me. We are... together, after all.
— Together for us no obstacles exist. Not a single one. Even morality.
— Yes… — I muttered. — You are right.
If I simply sit in this room, not undertaking anything… then they will... remove me. Write me off. The game will continue anyway. Only already without me.
— Exactly. So do not allow them to do whatever they want. Show resolve.
I will show them... I will show my resolve to win in this game.
While one of the participants was drowning in his own thoughts, the rest were busily digging through grimoires, in an attempt to fish out at least a grain of truth. A perfect detective chaos, everyone on edge, but no one knows what to look for.
— It is already starting to get dark, — Hov drawled. — The sun is going beyond the horizon, and we are not even close to the solution.
— We still have time. Even if the next phase begins, we will be all together. This will give us an advantage, the murderer is the one who is alone. Whoever is not the murderer is in the library, — said Yahweh.
I am betting more and more on the witch. Every night she makes a move, only to confuse us. As if she herself is enjoying this devilish game of chess.
Even if she does not kill herself, then she forces. She inspires. She manipulates, pushes, whispers, "they will hinder you. Remove them."
— Hey, you there, found anything?
— Not yet. Too many grimoires. And the needed one is still not there.
— The majority of them are magic, spells and the rest ballast.
— By the way, about ballast. — suddenly perked up Yahweh. — It seems the first owner of the mansion was fond of variations of worlds and alternative realities.
— What? What are you even talking about?
— Here, in the book are schemes of the Earth and its "reflections" in other planes. Interesting.
— Alternative Earths? As if one was not enough...
— All this is, of course, cool. But not on topic. We are looking for what concerns our inscriptions.
— Yes, let's not get distracted. Although... these books can also kill. In the literal sense. You open it and hello, a curse.
— I think I will step away, have some water. My eyes are already gluing together from the lines.
— It's dangerous to walk alone, especially at this time. — Cheryl.
— Then I will go with you. — followed the words of Morgana.
— Good, Morgana. It will not take much time.
«By the way we will visit Enua… I must prove his innocence. Cheryl and Morgana are on my side. With them we will be able to uncover the truth.
We only need to translate these lines. If we understand what is said in them, we might come upon the real murderer. After all, everyone is sure that these inscriptions are the work of the criminal».