While Amy was planning her private getaway, Lilac was sitting in her new office.
An office she knew she didn't deserve, and hoped would be taken from her soon since she knew she hadn't earned it. If nothing else, she knew that much in her heart.
It turned out that not only had she received a significant promotion, Jennifer had followed her, taken out of the rotation of Gate Walkers and given a role as Lilac's direct advisor.
Some part of Lilac believed that it was actually an effort to monitor her, but she couldn't wrap her head around why they would do something like that.
Why put her in this position at all if they felt they couldn't trust her, a feeling that radiated through her entire being.
How could they trust her after such catastrophic loss of life?
She certainly couldn't trust herself, especially not with the lives of others…which turned out to be the scope of her new position.
Liaison to the Mercenary Division meant more than simply coordinating with them, which confused her. It was her job to assign missions, manage allotted resources, prioritize conflicts that were handled by the paid help, and report any complications directly to Marcus.
It almost seemed like she'd been given a Director position, but the title had been changed since she wasn't actually overseeing anyone within the Bureau. Upon further thought on the matter, it seemed that was the reason for the strange choice of title, since the Mercenary Division was notoriously against the idea that they were directly employed.
The division itself was a strange aspect of Bureau life that very few members of staff actually seemed to see the importance of.
As a completely independent entity, the Bureau did its own work, clean and dirty, and seemed perfectly willing to do any deed for the 'greater good'.
So what did mercenaries do?
Even after looking over her new paperwork, Lilac wasn't 100% positive. Sometimes it seemed like they filled headcount on missions that Bureau resources couldn't and, on other occasions, did things that even the Bureau considered too gritty to do itself.
After her promotion, Marcus had told her that she'd mostly be left to her own devices, reaffirming her suspicions about her true title, and that he trusted her to know what to do with the information that would be coming down the pipeline.
Thus far, all she'd received were some requests from the Department of Dimensional Research to gather information on the Gates within the temple. Requests that Lilac had ignored since that was where the most traumatic experiences she'd ever had had occurred.
She knew she couldn't put it off forever, but also knew it was wrong of her to send anyone to a place so dangerous.
However, contrary to her better judgement, she sat looking over the dossier of a team that went by the Brother's Warriors.
They seemed to be fairly strong, all sitting at level 90 with a specialization in old style traditional weaponry. Low ranking military ordnance was overwhelmingly easy to get, and frequently used in Gated with high survival rates.
Its important to note, which Lilac did, that the weaponry was not responsible for these survival rates, but rather flourished in the low difficult spaces the Gates led to. All in all, the team seemed ill-fitted for such a task, but as they had been the only ones to bid on the mission, it was apparently their opportunity to prove the validity of the techniques they espoused.
Flicking her monitor to their training room, she noted their teamwork and, admittedly, high level of skill with the nonstandard weapons.
Sighing deeply, she approved their bid and hoped they would be ok in the face of the upcoming Gates.
The newest and most pressing request out of the way, she looked over the various documents and saw there were several more that had sat untouched by whoever had preceded her. They were all pretty simple tasks, and she went about the process of sending the information out to all the available teams, accepting bids, and issuing payment.
Overall, her position was pretty easy and under better circumstances might have been considered a cushy little role. She had little need to go out into the field, even less need to endanger herself in any way, and of course the amenities didn't hurt.
An email arrived at her terminal and as she checked it, felt her anxiety spike.
Jennifer was injured, and had been injured during the brief time they'd begun studying the strange 'coffin' they'd pulled out of the Gate.
Small panic rose in her chest as she flicked through the email, which included a full accounting of the tests, and she saw that nearly thirty researchers had been incapacitated or killed during the proceedings.
The question popped into her head unbidden, almost forcefully.
How many people was she going to be responsible for hurting by the time this was all done?
What had it been for?
Her last question disturbed her the most, because it shook her faith in the Bureau to its core.
What could Marcus possibly hope to accomplish by allowing such flagrant loss of life and concern for safety to continue.
With casualties slowly ticking up towards the hundred mark, she found herself wondering if there were even darker things she hadn't known about. Her belief in the Bureau had largely stemmed from her personal experience in the early days of the Uplift Initiative, where preservation of life and growth had been prioritized.
Within its dedicated space, the people who lead the Initiative had firmly insisted that while death was a natural part of a Walker's life, it was highly important to make no choices that led to any kind of unnecessary death.
Deliberately sending people into Gates with shockingly low survival rates and researching things that killed people during the process fought at odds with her core belief system, and she didn't know how to reconcile the dissonance between her perception of the Bureau and its reality.
The truth, she was realizing, was that the Bureau was a dark place that operated in the shadows, doing work that only the most hardened and loyal person could tolerate. She had no doubt in its intentions since, after all, she was a direct result of its 'greater good' policies, but how could one have no questions when tasked with sending someone to almost guaranteed death.
And for what?
A research request?
The thought shook her as she stood, not even sure where she'd intended to go. There were no other tasks that required her attention, and she'd managed to get all the requests up and running.
What was left?
Jennifer was hurt, but Lilac wasn't positive she could go see the woman without breaking down again.
She was unsure, but perhaps the real question to be asked was, is she just making excuses?
When you know the right thing is difficult, that it will hurt you just to do it, is it a weakness to avoid that pain?
On a fundamental level, deep below where she slotted in her justifications and even deeper than where her trauma had settled in, Lilac knew the answer to such a question.
The next question, of course, is was she willing to admit that and still call herself Jennifer's friend?
Several hours later, still in her chair at her desk, Lilac knew the answer.
Weak.
She was weak.
She couldn't stand up to her perceived failings.
Was it in her nature to be this way, hard coded into her very being to avoid this, or was it some unforeseen flaw in her upbringing. Ultimately, it didn't matter because, in her friend's time of need, she wasn't there.
After receiving the message that Jennifer was out of critical condition, awake and able to converse comfortably, Lilac put in a request to have flowers and a card sent to the shockingly loyal young woman who had saved her life.
To her credit, Lilac did not attempt to fabricate excuses for her abject weakness.
There were no pressing reports, no last minute unavoidable tasks that required her personal attention.
She even managed to have a personal message written onto the card.
"Jennifer..I hear you're doing better. I wanted to be there with you, I really did…but I couldn't trust myself to be strong for you, the way you deserved."
Was it self-serving? Perhaps.
Honesty however, goes a long way toward forgiveness, and as Jennifer sat in the recovery bed, the smell of the flowers soothed her hurt and the message sent brought her to the edge of forgiveness.
That Lilac had known and done even this much had been a surprise, given her state the last time Jennifer had seen her boss.
The memory of the broken woman who'd walked past her rang out clearly in her mind, giving Jennifer just enough to let her off the hook this once. She was new to this, to the actual dangers of the Bureau, to the reality of the world she'd been sheltered from; how could Jennifer, experienced in ways she would never be, cut off such potential because of a relatively minor sleight?
Outside the halls of the Bureau, betrayal and cruelty were currency shared on a scale that being unable to face trauma head on was barely worth mentioning.
Knowing all of this, Jennifer sent her a message directly to let her know she understood and wasn't overly upset. After all, the growth and the strength would come in time, and if there was anything Jennifer had in spades, it was time.
Turning from all of this, she looked at the paperwork that had been left in her care and began turning over the final reports.
The young man she'd seen before losing consciousness was alive, which was a pleasant surprise. It wasn't entirely clear what was happening in those last few minutes, but the fact that something had come of all of it was encouraging at the very least. The loss of life involved landed within expectations, and her involvement had meant that someone with feet on the ground could offer observation and considerations.
Traditionally, Jennifer's place in that situation would have been filled by a Director, but under the circumstances and possibilities, it was decided that her…resistances would come in handy throughout the process, a decision that had paid dividends.
Just looking at the person who had taken form in front of her sparked her condition stronger than anything had to date, and she had a feeling that was only a passive effect.
What could he do if he learned to control whatever that energy he had been emitting?
Faced with death on a fairly regular basis in her travels through the Gates, Jennifer had almost forgotten what it meant to feel fear, a feeling she would not be forgetting any time soon.
It dwelled within her bones, beat from her heart out to her extremities, that feeling of the end looking upon her with greed, a hunger for her very being.
A knock came at her door moments before it opened and Marcus walked in, accompanied by a woman with purple hair, though her name eluded Jennifer at the moment.
"I hate to do this to you while you're recovering Jen, but Director Gala here has some questions for you," he said quietly.
It was pretty clear that this was the last thing he'd wanted at this moment, so it must have been very important.
Before Jennifer could respond, the woman stepped forward and began asking questions, her light accent pulsing as she spoke.
"After brief analysis, it is clear that the energy that suffused the young man, Leon, was something entirely new. Do you have any ideas about this? Marcus says that you're the second most likely person to have any information."
Jennifer cocked her head gently, triggering a slight headache as she sat up and asked, "Why would I know anything about it?"
Marcus shrugged and looked at her pointedly as if to say, "You can talk about it".
So she did.
She started with an explanation of the Ascension Program and its multiple attempts to raise humanity to something stronger, something more than human. There was no clear end point decided, just shooting at a replicable method of making humankind stronger.
Being the end result of that program, and the only person who hadn't died or gone missing, Jennifer finished her explanation on the idea of weaponizing whatever power that the Crimson Affliction granted.
After an hour of explanation, Gala asked, "Does this grant you a connection to another dimension?"
Marcus turned to her and, with an incredulous expression, asked, "What are you talking about?"
Gala nodded, unfazed that even he was unsure what she meant, "Yes. Before his final body was formed, one of my tools measured a dimensional fluctuation that could be measured as an influx of multiple petabytes worth of information. This influx stopped and stabilized as he fell, disappearing altogether upon landing."
Jennifer shook her head, unsure even how much a petabyte was, and said, "To the best of my knowledge, that shouldn't have anything to do with the Affliction."
Marcus fidgeted a bit, but Gala ignored him.
"Do you know anything about it, Marcus?"
He shrugged again and made a zipping motion with his hand across his lips. If he did know something, he made it clear he wouldn't, or couldn't, say anything of any real worth.
Making to get out of bed, Jennifer said, "I want to see him."
Marcus put his hand up and said, "The remaining on-site physician says he wants you down for at least two more days, for observation. Apparently a lot more people were affected by the Affliction and there's been a few incidents of violence scattered throughout the facility."
"Violence?"
A grimace grew on his face as he said, "Pretty extreme. Casualties are high."
"How high?"
Gala rolled her eyes as Marcus looked like he was going to change the subject and said, "Four hundred injured, one fifty dead."
Jennifer thought for a moment, the sound of the hospital machines beeping and whirring around her before she asked, "Has anyone told Lilac?"
Gala snorted before Marcus had a chance to say, "No, and we're not going to. She's already blaming herself for the Gate incidents and probably for the research lab as well. Honestly, I'm glad she didn't even come to see you yet."
Nodding, Jennifer agreed.
Even though it would have been nice for her to come, she knew the woman wasn't really keeping it together, and more bad news likely would be the last straw.
"Fortunately we were able to dispatch Walkers with pretty strong mental skills and get everyone settled down, or dead," Marcus continued
"What's she doing now, anyway?"
Flicking his wrist and pulling up his System interface for the facility, and accessing his guest administrator privileges, Marcus saw that she was sitting at the desk in her new office.
"Just sitting there."
"Is she at least being productive," Jennifer asked, already knowing the answer.
"More than expected, in fact, she's already cleared out the docket from the last few decades and her queue is completely clear."
That sounded like Lilac, Jennifer thought.
Unlike some people, Jennifer had a far greater understanding of the work the Bureau was doing, and her loyalty was unshakeable. People struggled, suffered, and died without their name even hitting a spreadsheet under Bureau operations, and even knowing that, they persevered under its tenure.
In not coming, Lilac had demonstrated weakness, but a question that can justifiably be asked is thus.
Is weakness wrong?
It might be within our nature to shy away from our shame and our fear, but is that inherently a bad thing?
Where Lilac saw crippling failure, others might see growth, particularly given the struggle she felt to fight between acceptance or denial and her honesty in accepting that weakness.
After all, who is born so strong as to see their true self in the mirror and acquiesce its sincerity?
As Lilac questioned if her fault was ingrained into her very nature, Jennifer saw the strength in her growth, and the woman she might one day work alongside.
Lilac did not leave her office for two days, unaware of Jennifer's ordered bed rest.
Jennifer did not leave her bed for two days, bound to a bed while duty called.
If only these things could be left as is, to resolve and restructure, for wounds to heal and grow when instead they fester.
However.
These two sentences were a lie they told themselves would come to pass, that they would spend that time apart striving for a time when things would improve.
The Crimson Affliction spread like wildfire through the facility, while madmen and women clawed at each other, ripping and tearing their way through to the quiet places that the weak and innocent hid, too strong for the System's guiding hand and yet too weak to stand alone in an overwhelming wave of violence.
As Lilac sat alone in her office on the dusk of the first night, the lights in a hidden room deep within the facility flickered, their power disrupted by energy far surpassing anything the room itself was designed to withstand.
As Jennifer lay awake, looking over her new paperwork, the clock ticked over from 11:59 to 12:00 and somewhere, so far away she barely felt it, something came to life.
All around the facility battle raged on, blood stained hallways and corpses began to fill the halls, the decision was made to call in the powerful Walkers that were only called in times of dire need.
As Marcus finished sending messages, typing emails, and calling in favors, something roared deep within the facility that made his very soul shake.
System Prompt:
It has begun.