The choice hung in the air, heavy and sharp as a guillotine.
Choose his fate.
Dean Wang, the Perfect God, was a sobbing, broken mess on the floor.
A failed project.
A bug in the system.
And Li Wei was being handed the delete key.
"Choose," the Jade Emperor commanded again, his voice a purr of pure, sadistic satisfaction.
**
The four Li Weis looked at each other.
The cosmic jury leaned forward, their popcorn forgotten.
This was the real final.
"Well," Yin Mode, the Idiot, began, wringing his hands nervously. "He looks... really sad."
He took a hesitant step toward the crying god.
"Maybe we should give him a hug? And some spicy chips? Spicy chips always make me feel better when my entire existence is proven to be a lie."
He looked at his other selves, his expression one of pure, unfiltered empathy.
"We could teach him how to be happy and imperfect! It'll be fun!"
**
Yang Mode, the Genius, pushed his glasses up his nose.
"Your emotional response is noted, but inefficient," he stated, his golden eyes scanning the sobbing Dean Wang like a piece of faulty hardware.
"His processing power is immense," Yang Mode continued, his voice cold and analytical. "His understanding of orderly systems is unparalleled. To delete his newfound emotional code would be a waste of a valuable asset."
He began to pace, his mind already building a new, better system.
"The optimal solution is to integrate his orderly systems with our chaotic ones. We could create a balanced, dual-core universal management structure. He would handle the boring stuff, like physics and taxes. We would handle the fun stuff, like spontaneous musical numbers and existential philosophy."
He saw not a person, but a resource. A tool to be optimized.
**
The Hero, the fused version, stood between them, his expression a mask of pained conflict.
"We cannot be cruel," he said, his voice echoing with the compassion of Yin. "But we also cannot be naive," he added, his tone sharpening with the logic of Yang.
"To preserve him as a monument to our victory is an act of pure arrogance. But to erase his humanity, the very thing that made him lose, is an act of monstrous cruelty."
He looked at the sobbing god, his heart aching.
"There must be a third path," he whispered. "A path of... compassionate utility."
**
The Ghost, the silent, shadowy fourth, finally spoke.
Its voice was not a sound, but a thought, echoing in all their minds at once.
A thought of pure, cosmic amusement.
Guys, it said, its form rippling with barely contained laughter. Are you all blind?
The other three turned to look at the shadow.
This isn't a choice, the Ghost explained, its tone that of someone explaining a very simple joke to a very slow child. It's a test. The final, final exam.
The old man in the bathrobe isn't looking for an answer. He's looking for character.
He's testing our morality. Our compassion. Our grace in victory.
The real winning move, the Ghost concluded, is not to play his stupid, rigged game.
**
The four of them stood in a silent, internal deadlock.
Befriend him.
Use him.
Save him.
Reject the entire premise.
Four parts of one soul. Four completely different, completely valid, and completely incompatible solutions.
They couldn't agree.
The Jade Emperor's smile widened.
This was it. The final failure. The bug would crash itself.
He had won.
**
"Stop it."
The voice was quiet.
But it cut through the cosmic silence like a flaming sword.
Feng Yue stepped forward, out of the spectator box, the celestial barrier shattering around her like spun sugar.
She walked into the center of the arena, her eyes blazing with a fire that had nothing to do with her phoenix heritage.
It was the fire of pure, righteous fury.
She ignored the Jade Emperor.
She ignored the jury.
She walked right up to the four, arguing, broken pieces of Li Wei.
And she looked at them.
Not as a prize. Not as a project.
But as the man she loved.
"I choose you," she said, her voice ringing with a certainty that shook the very foundations of the cosmos.
The Jade Emperor scoffed. "The choice is not yours, little bird."
"Oh, I'm not choosing for him," Feng Yue said, never taking her eyes off Li Wei. "I'm choosing him."
She looked from the Idiot, to the Genius, to the Hero, to the Ghost.
"I don't choose you because you're powerful," she said, her voice softening. "Or because you're a genius. Or because you're destined to save the universe."
She took a deep breath, her heart, her real, chaotic, and utterly un-programmed heart, laid bare for all the gods to see.
"I choose you," she said, her voice cracking with a beautiful, powerful emotion, "because you're the only god in the entire, stupid universe who would stand here and agonize over the right thing to do, instead of just doing what's easy."
"I choose you because you're a mess. Because you're broken. Because you argue with yourself about mercy and logic and spicy chips."
She looked at the sobbing form of Dean Wang, then back at Li Wei.
"I don't love the winner," she whispered. "I love the boy who is terrified of becoming a monster."
**
Her words were an anchor.
A truth.
The final, missing piece of the equation.
The four Li Weis looked at each other.
And for the first time, they saw not their differences, but their shared, beautiful, chaotic core.
They were all the boy who was terrified of becoming a monster.
And that was their strength.
They turned, as one, to face the Jade Emperor.
Yin Mode spoke first. "We choose... to be his friend."
Yang Mode spoke next. "We choose... to utilize his strengths."
The Hero spoke third. "We choose... to show him mercy."
The Ghost spoke last. We choose... not to play your game.
The four contradictory statements hung in the air.
Then, the Hero smiled. A genuine, brilliant smile.
"We choose all of it," he declared.
The four of them looked at each other. They nodded.
And then, Yin Mode, the glorious, magnificent idiot, took a deep breath and announced their final, unanimous, and completely insane decision to the entire cosmos.
"We choose..." he said, his voice filled with the triumphant certainty of a kid who has just figured out the perfect, stupidest solution to an impossible problem.
"...GROUP PROJECT!"
**
A collective, universe-shattering facepalm.
Every god in the jury.
Nuwa.
Even the Jade Emperor.
They all just put their heads in their hands.
"Reality," Yin Mode continued, now on a roll, "will now be a collaborative effort! A divine group project! Dean Wang can be in charge of spreadsheets and scheduling! We'll handle creative direction and snacks!"
"Everyone gets a say! Everyone gets a job! No one gets deleted!"
It was the most ridiculous, most childish, and most profoundly stupid solution in the history of creation.
And as the words echoed in the silent, stunned arena...
The new, colorful, fun reality that Li Wei had created... stabilized.
The sobbing Dean Wang looked up, a flicker of hope in his tear-filled eyes.
The cosmic jury started murmuring, not in confusion, but in excited agreement.
It was a terrible idea.
It was an inefficient idea.
It was a chaotic idea.
But it was a kind idea.
And it was, somehow, against all logic and reason, actually starting to work.
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