Hindi ko na alam kung kailan nagsimulang tumigil ang mundo sa pagitan naming dalawa.
Maybe it was in the middle of slicing mangoes for the pancakes i insisted on making, kahit na halos dalawang beses ko nang halos masugatan ang sarili ko sa sobrang antok.
Maybe it was when he leaned over from behind, his chin resting gently on my shoulder, his voice still hoarse with sleep when he whispered, “You’re cute when you pretend to know what you’re doing.”
“Excuse me?” I turned to glare at him, pero naka-ngiti lang siya, that stupid grin i hated when we were younger.
That same grin i think i’m in love with now.
“Gusto mo akong tulungan?” I asked, though i was already pushing the spatula into his hand.
“Kala ko ba ikaw ‘to, Mrs. Independent?” he teased, but still rolled up his sleeves and stepped beside me.
We were married technically, but these small mornings, these stolen breakfasts before the world had a say… they felt more sacred than any ceremony.
He plated the pancakes while i poured coffee.
Hindi ko in-expect na magiging ganito kami ka-domesticated, pero it was quiet, comforting, and mine.
And i didn’t want it to end.
After breakfast, Calix was supposed to head to the office.
Supposed to.
Pero naglalambing ako, and i never do that.
Kaya ramdam kong nagulat siya nang sabunutan ko nang mahina ang t-shirt niya at pinigilan siyang bumangon mula sa sofa.
“Stay,” I said softly, eyes refusing to meet his.
“Babe…” his voice was uncertain. “May meeting ako—”
“Please.” I looked up this time, and something in my voice must’ve cracked, because he didn’t argue after that.
Tahimik kaming bumalik sa kama. Walang usapan. Just two people clinging onto the morning a little longer.
I curled beside him, burying my face into his chest. I felt his hand settle on my waist.
Hindi kami nag-uusap tungkol sa kung anong susunod. Hindi rin kami nag-uusap tungkol sa nakaraan. But this, this silence was full of comfort.
“You smell like cinnamon,” he murmured, brushing his nose against my hair.
“From the pancake mix,” I replied.
“Don’t care. Bagay sa’yo.”
I let out a breath.
Not quite a laugh, but something lighter than I’ve felt in weeks.
His hand traced slow, lazy circles on my back. “Do you still think about him?”
I stilled.
“Not Paul,” he quickly added. “Your old self. Before all this.”
I nodded against his chest. “Sometimes. Parang panaginip na. Like i don’t even know who i was before i became someone’s wife.”
His hand paused, then moved up to cradle my cheek.
“You’re still that girl,” he said. “But better. Stronger. Scarier.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“I mean it in a hot way,” he chuckled, kissing my forehead.
I bit my lip, eyes fluttering shut.
Was it possible to fall in love with someone again like this? Bit by bit, moment by moment?
Kasi kung totoo ‘yun, then i was free-falling all over again.
Nasa bedroom pa rin kami, hours later. I lost track of time.
The city buzzed outside but inside our unit, the curtains were drawn, and the world narrowed down to just the two of us.
Calix pulled me into his lap, his hand gripping my waist like he still couldn’t believe i was here. His other hand trailed a path from my wrist to my neck, his touch reverent, almost worshipful.
“Kahit ganito lang tayo palagi, okay na ako,” he said, eyes searching mine.
I nodded, my fingers brushing the hair from his forehead. “Me too.”
“Wala ka nang balak bumalik sa kabayo?” he teased.
“Gusto ko lang ng kapayapaan ngayon,” I admitted. “Ikaw.”
My voice broke on that last word. Because it was true. He was my peace now.
And then he kissed me.
It wasn’t rushed or hungry. It was gentle, full of everything we never said.
His lips lingered.
My arms wrapped around his neck. Our bodies fit the way puzzle pieces do not perfect, but meant.
Calix leaned in again, this time deeper. His mouth tasted like morning coffee and maple syrup, and something uniquely his. My breath hitched as his hand slipped beneath my shirt, his touch warm against my skin.
I didn’t stop him.
Maybe because i didn’t want to anymore.
His thumb caressed my hip as i pulled him closer. Our kiss grew urgent, but still laced with tenderness, like we were learning each other all over again.
When he finally pulled away to look at me, his eyes were darker now. Serious.
“Sure ka ba?” he asked.
I nodded. “I want this. I want you.”
He didn’t need any more permission.
We undressed each other slowly, no rush, no pretenses. Just truth. Just this moment.
The first time we made love after everything wasn’t perfect. We fumbled, laughed, paused too long to stare at each other like it was the first time. But it felt real.
And real was all i ever wanted now.
Afterwards, I rested my head on his chest again. The silence was back, but this time it was full of answers.
“I love you,” I whispered.
He kissed the top of my head. “I never stopped.”