Aria didn't remember how she got to her suite.
The world was a blur—of pounding footsteps, ringing elevator dings, and the echo of Kade's voice trapped in her head like a cruel spell.
By the time she slammed the door shut behind her, she felt like she was unraveling.
Her purse hit the floor with a thud. She kicked off her heels and stumbled toward the bathroom, the icy tile grounding her just enough to breathe. She leaned over the sink, her trembling fingers clutching the edge.
Her reflection stared back.
Messy hair. Smeared makeup. Eyes that looked far too haunted for a girl who had just turned twenty.
But she didn't feel twenty.
She didn't feel anything but disgust.
With herself.
How could she be so stupid?
How could she have let this happen?
A bitter laugh crawled up her throat. "Happy birthday, Aria," she muttered, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. "You gave your virginity to the guy who said you were a child."
Her voice cracked on the last word.
She remembered it so vividly now—the way Kade had looked at her the night they ended. Cold. Detached. Like he wasn't talking to someone he once kissed under the stars, but to a mistake he needed to erase.
"You're just a kid, Aria," he had said. "You're not ready for what I need."
But he hadn't said that before he slept with someone else behind her back.
No.
He waited until she found out.
He waited until she stood in front of him, shaking, asking why, and then he twisted the knife with that smug, heartless voice: "You're too young."
And now?
Now she had given him the one thing she had sworn to keep for someone who truly loved her. The one thing she never wanted to regret.
Her virginity.
Gone.
To him.
To Kade Val.
A strangled sob escaped her throat, and she slapped a hand over her mouth to silence it. Her knees buckled. She sank to the floor, curling in on herself as the tears came hard and fast, burning down her cheeks like punishment.
She didn't even know if it had really happened.
The pieces were there—her dress on the floor, the soreness in her body, the warmth in that bed—but the memory? Fuzzy. Blurry. Like watching a film underwater.
But even if there had been no memory…
The damage was done.
Kade was the last person in the world she ever wanted to touch her.
And now, she couldn't forget the way he looked in the morning light—surprised, confused, shirtless—and familiar. Like nothing had changed. Like the past didn't matter.
But it did.
To her, it always did.
He had broken her once. And now, he'd broken her again—without even meaning to.
Aria stood shakily, wiping her face and stepping into the shower. She turned on the water—hot, nearly scalding—and let it run over her skin, hoping it would wash away the feeling.
It didn't.
The heat only made her feel rawer.
Exposed.
No matter how long she stood there, arms wrapped around herself, the ache didn't leave.
It wasn't physical.
It was something deeper. Something hollow.
When she finally emerged, her fingers were wrinkled, her face pale, and her eyes dull.
She dressed in silence. A loose sweatshirt. Cotton shorts. Her birthday makeup was gone, her confidence shattered with it.
She walked to the mirror and stared at herself again.
Who was this girl?
This wasn't the Aria who spent hours planning the perfect night with her friends.
This wasn't the girl who used to believe her first time would mean something.
This was a girl who made a mistake.
A girl who hated herself for it.
"I should've stayed home," she whispered.
She pulled her knees to her chest and sat by the window, watching the morning sun spill across the city. Cars honked in the distance. Life continued like nothing happened.
But inside her?
Everything had changed.
What would Kade do?
Would he pretend it never happened? Text her like it was normal? Or worse—tell someone?
She didn't want to find out.
She couldn't face him again.
Not after this.
Not after the look on his face when he said, "Trust me, I don't want it to have happened either."
As if she had planned it.
As if she had wanted him.
She gritted her teeth and wiped away another tear.
He humiliated her once. He wouldn't do it again.
This time, she would walk away first.
This time, she'd be the one who disappeared.
Aria grabbed her phone and typed a quick message to the hotel front desk, requesting early checkout.
Then she turned it off.
If Kade tried to call or text, she didn't want to know.
She would delete his number.
Forget his name.
Forget everything.
Even if her body wouldn't let her.
Even if every part of her burned with regret.
"I hate you," she whispered into the silence. "But I hate myself more."
Her chest tightened, and for a second, it felt hard to breathe.
But she forced herself to stand, to gather her things, to pack her bag.
She could break down later.
Right now, she had to get out of here.
Because the longer she stayed, the louder that voice in her head would become.
And she wasn't sure she could survive listening to it any longer.