I hate writing.
Well, I like thinking. But writing? Ugh. Feels like homework. But Iruka-sensei says reflection is important, and honestly, sometimes my brain feels like a hundred bouncing balls that forgot which room they belong in. So here I am.
Let's start with the basics.
My name's Tama Akimichi. I'm not like the others in my class. Not just because I'm extra round or extra loud or extra me—but because I have a cheat.
Not a chakra thing. I don't even have chakra. Not really. I mean, sure, maybe my body has it, like all people here, but I can't use it. No ninja techniques, no hand seals, no flashy jutsu. Nada.
What I have is something else entirely.
I don't know what it is. A cursed snack? A magic grape bomb? Whatever it was, I found it when I was three. Looked like curly grapes tangled in numbers. I took a bite, and now I can break the world a little bit.
Elastic Reality—that's what I call it.
What does it do? It lets me change stuff. But not anything—only things I can measure.
Length. Weight. Speed. Temperature. Friction. Stuff like that. If there's a number tied to it, I can mess with it.
I can only do it if I touch the thing first.
And it's not like I just snap my fingers—big changes take effort. Not chakra (I don't do chakra). More like stamina. Focus. Stretching a weird muscle I didn't know I had. Sometimes it's just a nudge. Other times, it leaves me winded, like I ran laps with Gai-sensei screaming behind me. And it's not always obvious how much "push" something will take.
Anyway. Today was the stealth trial.
We were supposed to sneak through a clearing with blindfolded instructors listening for us. I figured, hey, why not get creative? So I touched the ground instead of my sandals (rookie mistake), cut the friction in half, and tried to glide.
It worked. I glided across the ground like a dream—quiet, clean, smooth. I didn't make a sound. I even passed the trial.
The problem came later. Kiba took the course after me. Hit the same patch of frictionless ground I left behind and nearly crashed into a tree. He was fine, but Iruka pulled me aside afterward. Said something that stuck with me:
> "Tama, it's not just about what you can do—it's about what you should do."
That stuck with me. I can mess with reality in ways the others can't. But maybe that's the trap. I get so caught up in what's possible that I forget to think about what's smart.
Still… it was fun.
There was this patch of ground I forgot to fix after the trial—still low-friction. Later, Rika walked through it and nearly slammed into a tree. I felt bad… but I also laughed until my stomach hurt.
At lunch, Rika called me a "walking hazard."
Might keep that one. It's got a ring to it.
So yeah. That's me.
Tama Akimichi. Professional hazard. Amateur philosopher. World's most chaotic rubber ruler.
Until next time,
Tama