Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Aren't you the one acting all strange?"
Cancer of Earth (Fujiwara Chihua):
> "He's always been weird. Anyway, Songlan, you're a transmigrator?"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Yep. Three years ago, I was crossing the street and got hit by a mud truck that ran a red light. Next thing I knew, I woke up in Teyvat."
White-Haired Auntie (September):
> "That sounds exactly like the plot of a light novel. So? Got any crazy cheat powers? Like, a dating sim system that powers you up with every girl you conquer?"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "..."
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Honestly, I wish. But nope. Aside from being a bit luckier than average, I don't have any cheat abilities. Heck, I didn't even get a Vision because I'm considered an outsider."
Cancer of Earth (Fujiwara):
> "Wait—so can you still use elemental powers? Like, by touching the Statues of the Seven like the Traveler?"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "I tried. Both the Anemo and Geo statues. Zero reaction. I'm just a normal dude."
American Cockroach (W):
> "Pfft. With results like that, are you even worthy of calling yourself a transmigrator? Get out of the group!"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "You seriously gatekeeping a multiverse group right now?"
Neet Princess (Kaguya):
> "Bro, you're one of us. So, how many girls have you scored in Teyvat in these past three years? Judging by your username, I'm guessing a lot."
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Uh... bit of a misunderstanding there. Sure, I know a lot of girls, but that's mostly for work reasons. I'm still single."
American Cockroach (W):
> "Ah, I get it. Sometimes having too many girls around makes it hard to choose."
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "..."
Songlan had only just joined the chat group, but he already felt like if he kept talking to Kaguya, he'd end up with a ruined reputation. So, he quickly changed the subject.
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Anyway, our situations are different. I really haven't had much contact with women that way. By the way, Cynthia—you mentioned selling Pokémon earlier. How much for an Onix?"
Onix wasn't just powerful in combat—it could crush hilichurls effortlessly and had an earthworm-like nature, making it great for clearing out ruins. Songlan was seriously considering buying some to help with developing Guili Plains.
Stalker (Cynthia):
> "Oh? Now you're talking my language! Onix goes for 1000 points each—but I do bulk discounts! Buy 10 or more, and I'll give you 20% off!"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "I checked the exchange system just now—one Vision only gives 1000 points. Are your Onix made of gold or are the Pokéballs gold-plated?"
Stalker (Cynthia):
> "..."
American Cockroach (W):
> "Hah! Didn't expect the newbie to be this sharp. Cynthia is a con artist. If I were an admin, she'd be gone already."
Stalker (Cynthia):
> "Ahem... 1000 is the public price, of course. You're one of us now. I'll do 100 points per Onix for you. That's a steal, seriously! With a little luck, you can earn that from daily check-ins."
The group's system had a daily sign-in function that gave 1–100 points. Songlan had already tried it and hit the jackpot with a full 100.
At that rate, 100 points per Onix was actually a solid deal.
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Great. I'll take a thousand."
Stalker (Cynthia):
> "Wait—did I read that right? A thousand?!"
Even Cynthia was stunned. Onix might be common, but a thousand of them? Even she, a regional Champion, would need time to gather that many.
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "You read it right. No typo. I need a thousand."
American Cockroach (W):
> "What the hell are you planning? Starting a war? Assassinate Barbatos and take over Mondstadt?"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Assassinate Barbatos? That drunkard? Just hand him a few top-shelf bottles and he'll give me the city on a silver platter. Honestly, I wouldn't take that overgrown nursery even if you paid me."
Cancer of Earth (Fujiwara):
> "True. Aside from a few exceptions, Mondstadt's basically full of drunks. I remember even the fruit vendor from Springvale ditched his stall just to go drink in the city. But if you're not waging war, what's with the army of Onix?"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Liyue Harbor's overcrowded. I'm planning to develop Guili Plains."
Cancer of Earth (Fujiwara):
> "Guili Plains? That stretch between Wangshu Inn and Liyue Harbor? Isn't that kinda small and filled with monsters? Is it even worth it?"
Stalker (Cynthia):
> "It seems small because we only know it from the game. In reality, it's probably massive. Even Liyue Harbor looks tiny in-game, and it fits most of the population."
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Exactly. In reality, Guili Plains is over 500,000 square kilometers—bigger than the entire country of Fusang."
Cancer of Earth (Fujiwara):
> "Wait, what?! That's just one region! Isn't that, like, 1/20 of Liyue's map? Does that mean Liyue's bigger than Russia?!"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "Probably. No exact stats, but yeah—Liyue's huge. Like Russia, though, most of it's uninhabitable."
Cancer of Earth (Fujiwara):
> "Still, building a whole new city takes tons of manpower. Liyue has the funds, sure, but do you even have enough workers? In the game, Keqing is always complaining about the labor shortage and doing construction herself."
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "That part's under control. I already got in touch with Beidou and... let's say, a certain five-star ornamental fish."
Expression-God Hero (Emilia):
> "Not a bad plan. But aren't you worried those people might betray you and take over Guili Plains for themselves?"
At first, Songlan thought this was the Re:Zero Emilia. But with that chat handle and those blunt, tomboyish remarks, he realized—this wasn't his waifu. It was Emilia Justina, the hero from The Devil Is a Part-Timer!
Sure, she was cute, but her tomboy vibes and completely anti-lewd aura made her feel more like a bro than anything else.
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "You really get the Iudex mindset. But honestly, that risk is manageable. I'm planning to set up a propaganda squad to promote how amazing life is in Liyue. With the right messaging, it won't take long before they start calling themselves 'spiritual citizens of Liyue.'"
Cancer of Earth (Fujiwara):
> "You sound just like the Babylonians back in the day..."
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "I trust our Liyue PR team. With their skills, anyone harboring ill intent will die of shame before they ever act."
American Cockroach (W):
> "What, like... six arrows in the back kind of shame-suicide? No wonder you're a Tianshu. Hey kid—you ever consider working for Babel Tower as a doctor?"
Neet Princess (Kaguya):
> "Ah yes, peak passive-aggressive.
Low EQ: 'This guy's clearly up to no good.'
High EQ: 'Have you considered becoming a doctor at Babel Tower?'"
Teyvat Sea King (Songlan):
> "..."