**Scene 1: Ramen Shop "Training" (Or Lack Thereof)**
Kazuki sat slumped at the counter of *Mystic Ramen Ya*, staring at the oily broth swirling in his bowl. Across from him, the scarred ramen chef—who'd introduced himself only as **"Boss"**—sharpened a kitchen knife with unsettling intensity.
The tiny dragon-spirit (who Kazuki had nicknamed **"Scales"**) perched on his shoulder, whispering:
**"That knife? Definitely killed a man."**
Kazuki gulped. "So, uh… when does the *magic training* start?"
Boss slammed the knife down. **"First lesson: Stop being a little bitch."**
"...That's it?"
**"Yep."** Boss slid another bowl of ramen toward him. **"Eat. You'll need strength for the *Shinigami*."**
Kazuki paused mid-slurp. "Okay, seriously—what's a *Shinigami*?"
The shop's door burst open.
---
### **Scene 2: Enter the "Chosen One" (Total Fraud)**
Standing in the doorway was a guy around Kazuki's age, clad in a **ridiculous white-and-gold robe**, holding a glowing sword… that was visibly duct-taped together.
**"FEAR NOT, CITIZENS!"** the boy bellowed. **"THE TRUE HERO, LEO STARBRIGHT, HAS ARRIVED!"**
Silence.
Kazuki blinked. "Is this a prank?"
Scales sighed. **"Nope. That's the *actual* Chosen One. We're doomed."**
Leo posed dramatically. **"I've come to vanquish the Backup Hero! …Wait."** He squinted at Kazuki. **"You're the *backup*? You look like you've never lifted anything heavier than a gaming controller."**
Kazuki shrugged. "Accurate."
Boss massaged his temples. **"Kid, your *sword's a prop*."**
Leo gasped. **"LIES! This is the *Sacred Blade of—*"** The "blade" flickered like a dying lightbulb. **"…Okay, maybe it's low on batteries."**
---
### **Scene 3: The Shinigami (Who Just Wants Overtime Pay)**
A chill swept through the room. Shadows pooled under the door, forming into a **tall, exhausted-looking man in a black suit**, holding a Starbucks cup and a clipboard.
**"Alright, which idiot activated the *Emergency Hero Protocol*?"** the Shinigami droned. **"I was *two minutes* from clocking out."**
Kazuki pointed at Scales. "Him."
**"TRAITOR!"** Scales hissed.
The Shinigami flipped through his clipboard. **"Backup Hero Kazuki Maeda… Power Rating: *Pathetic*… Designation: *'Why Bother'*…"** He sighed. **"Look, just sign this waiver saying you won't sue when you die."**
Kazuki: "Hard pass."
Leo leapt forward. **"I, THE TRUE HERO, SHALL PROTECT HIM!"**
The Shinigami side-stepped. Leo face-planted.
**"Wow,"** Kazuki deadpanned. **"Inspiring."**
---
### **Scene 4: The "Training" Montage (From Hell)**
Cue a **disastrous week** of "training":
- **"Swordfighting"**: Leo "trains" Kazuki with his prop sword. It snaps in half.
- **"Magic Lessons"**: Boss teaches Kazuki to summon his power. He accidentally conjures **a single soggy french fry**.
- **"Stealth"**: They try hiding from the Shinigami. Kazuki gets stuck in a vending machine. *Again.*
Through it all, **Aoi (the class rep/witch)** keeps texting him:
**>> AOI:** *Where ARE you? The principal's furious.*
**>> KAZUKI:** *Busy.* (Attaches a photo of Scales eating his homework.)
---
### **Scene 5: The First Real Threat (Kinda)**
At week's end, a **growl echoes from the alley**. A monstrous **trash-can mimic** (exactly what it sounds like) lumbers toward them.
Leo screams. **"MY TIME HAS COME!"** He charges—and trips on his robe.
Kazuki sighs. "I got this." He raises a hand, focusing. **"Summon… uh… something cool?"**
**POOF.** A **single firework** sparks to life—then fizzles out.
The mimic burps.
**"…Well,"** Scales says. **"We're all gonna die."**