"RAAAAAARRRGH!!"
The monster lunged.
Nero screamed.
"AAAHH SHIT—"
He dove left just in time, crashing into his poor gaming chair.
"Ow!"
His head kissed the metal part of the chair, almost making him tear in pain.
But he had no time for that.
The monster screeched across the floor, did a sad spin, and flopped over like it had accepted death.
The monster's claws tore through where he'd just been, slicing his anime-covered beanbag in half.
Cotton guts exploded into the air like a decapitated plushie.
"NOT THE BEANBAG!" Nero yelped, half-crawling behind the coffee table.
The beast snarled again.
Its freaky glowing eyes tracked him like heat-seeking missiles.
"Think, Nero, think—!"
He looked around.
The apartment was a warzone of weeb crap and broken furniture.
Posters peeled off the walls.
His body pillow was slumped on the couch like it had given up.
It was a miracle how it even survived… not that he's complaining though.
'Wait! It's not that time for that!'
Then his eyes landed on something shiny.
The curtain rod!
He made a break for it.
The monster roared and slammed down one of its clawed limbs.
*THOOM!*
The floor cracked.
Nero rolled under the impact and yanked the curtain rod free.
It wasn't Excalibur, but it'd do.
He spun it like a wannabe Jedi.
"Alright, you eldritch Mufasa! Time to catch these hands!"
The monster lunged again.
*Wooom!*
Nero sidestepped and smacked it across the snout with the rod. CLANG!
It barely flinched.
"…Okay, maybe not the hands. Maybe, like, a few fingers. Pinkies actually."
The beast snarled and whipped its tail.
"Ugh!"
Nero ducked—barely.
A part of its razor sharp scales scraped the skin of his cheek.
The edge of the couch exploded behind him.
"Yep okay, that's a tail whip!... NO NEED TO FLEX IT OKAY?!"
Then he saw it.
A glowing purple vein pulsing on the underside of the creature's jaw.
Bingo! Weak point. Classic.
"HEY UGLY! OPEN WIDE!"
Nero grabbed a nearby broken lamp, flung it at the thing's face. The shade smacked one eye.
"RAAGHHH!!"
The monster reared back, roaring.
'A wide opening!'
And Nero charged in.
Rod up, adrenaline screaming, he jumped onto the couch, then launched himself off the armrest straight at the thing's chest.
Mid-air, he flipped the rod in his grip and jammed it upwards—right into the glowing vein.
*SPLORCH!*
The rod sank in. Purple ichor exploded everywhere. It was like stabbing a mystery box only to win a shit load of demon juice.
The beast let out an ungodly screech—like a fax machine possessed by Satan.
"RAAAAGHHHH!!"
But it wasn't dead yet.
"Damn! How sturdy is this thing?!"
He gripped tightly onto the curtain rod, as the monster became frenzied.
*Bang!*
Since he was being flung around, his body hardly hit some of his furniture.
"Ouch–! Hey! Stop that!"
Needless to say, it hurts like ass!
But Nero didn't relent, otherwise, he was cooked.
"Easy down, boy!"
The monster didn't listen to him. The pain from the lodged curtain rod caused it to go wild.
"Alright, we'll do the hard way then!"
Using all of his remaining strength, Nero forcefully pulled it back before–
*SLURRSSHH!!*
He plunged it back with even more force.
"RAAAAHHHGGGGGG–!"
"Stop whining like a bitch, and take it like a man!"
If the monster had a mouth it would sure like to protest that it has no gender, but unfortunately it had no ability to talk.
*SLURRSSHH! SLURRSSHH!*
Nero repeatedly stabbed the same spot, before the monster lost its vitality.
*Pam!*
He hit the ground hard, rolled, barely avoided the monster's collapsing body.
*THUUUUUUUD!*
Dust settled.
Silence.
Then:
"Did I just—?"
He peeked up.
The monster was still, it didn't move no matter how many seconds he waited.
He did it…
He really did it!
"… HOLY SHIT I ACTUALLY KILLED IT!!"
He flopped on his back, arms spread wide, panting like he'd just finished a Dark Souls boss fight with 1 HP and broken gear.
His vision blurred for a second.
Then—
DING!
[Level Up!]
[Level Up!]
A new screen bloomed into view.
---
Name: Nero Walker (Jobless Degenerate)
Race: Human
Level: 1 → 3
Stats:
STR: 1.1/10 → 1.15/10
DEX: 0.9/10 → 0.95/10
INT: 1.2/10
VIT: 1.2/10 → 1.25/10
LUCK: 1/10
CHA: 0.8/10 (oof.)
Active Skills:
– [Empty]
Passive Skills:
– [Empty]
Unique Abilities:
– [Empty]
---
Nero groaned.
"Still nothing?!"
He poked around with his eyes, trying every anime logic and gamer instinct he had.
Willed "Inventory" open. Nothing.
Tried "Quests." Nothing.
Whispered "Settings."
Yelled "HELP MENU."
Even tried saying "Cheat Code Activate."
Nada.
At one point, he stood in the T-pose just in case the system was motion-activated.
Nothing but silence and embarrassment.
He slumped back onto the broken floor, covered in sweat, bruises, and maybe a little monster goop.
"This is the lamest cheat system ever. It's like getting a PS5 box and opening it to find socks."
But just as he was about to give up—
[Congratulations.]
A robotic, monotone voice echoed in his head. The same deadpan narrator from earlier.
[You are one of the 33.2% of new users who successfully killed a monster upon awakening. You qualify for an early unique ability selection.]
"Wait, what?" Nero blinked.
[The following unique abilities have been created based on the user's inner desires. Please choose one.]
A glowing panel appeared, this time with flair—like a premium loot box opening in a gacha game.
Three options hovered before him.
---
1. Adapt-o-Mancer (SR)
Description: Your body rapidly adjusts to damage types. Burned? Now fire-resistant. Zapped? Call you Electric Boy.
Passive evolution. Comes with mild addiction to danger.
2. Plot Armor (UR)
Description: Unlikely things go your way when the stakes are high. Coincidences, near-deaths, last-second dodges? You've got a divine scriptwriter. CAUTION: Readers hate this stuff!
3. Waifu Summoner (SSR)
Description: Summon legendary allies based on your fantasies. Ranked C to UR. Pull rates? Questionable. Results? Adorable… and deadly. But hey, at least it's a girl, right? Fulfill your perverted dreams by creating an invisible army of harem! Drown yourself with boobs!
---
Nero's eyes glazed past Adapt-o-Mancer.
"Cool, cool, mutation powers…"
Although the description was questionable, it was indeed an overpowered ability just from the sound of it.
Then Plot Armor.
"Classic OP MC cheese. I dig it."
He was tempted to choose it. Especially considering it's a UR-tier ability.
The highest tier… at least from his memories and experiences as a veteran gacha player himself.
Plot Armor just sounds too OP to not choose.
I mean, who wouldn't like surviving a 0% chance nuclear nuke by some "luck" or some made up bullshit explained by a third rate author?
Heck, he bet with this ability he could even survive one punch from a certain caped bald guy.
The way the Plot Armor was exclusively shining was practically begging to him to choose it.
But just as he was about to press…
He then saw it.
The last unique ability.
Waifu Summoner (SSR).
His soul left his body for a second.
"Wait… I can summon waifus?"
His eyes literally zoomed in like it was Google Maps.
A tiny disclaimer read: 'Includes combat support, healing, and emotional damage immunity. RNG-based. Emotional attachment guaranteed. Gacha drop pool expands with the user's desires.'
Nero's heart went through the roof.
His gambling addiction boiled.
His gacha senses were tingling.
He didn't even hesitate.
No.
There's no need to hesitate. There was only a single choice right from the start.
"LOCKING IN WAIFU SUMMONER, BABY!"
'Who the fuck needs Plot Armor, anyways?!'
Waifus over meta.
It's an iron-clad rule for the REAL gigachad gacha players.
"With boobies, you can win anything!"
Nero smashed the button like he did with his meat.
Nero swore he even heard a 'crack!' from the system's interface due to the immense force he applied… But surely it was just his imagination.
The system then chimed with a sparkly sound like magical anime girl bells.
[Waifu Summoner (SSR) confirmed.]
Nero stared at the screen, hands shaking.
A new line popped up beneath his stats, just right at the Unique Abilities section.
[Unique Abilities: Waifu Summoner (SSR)]
Nero dropped to his knees.
Tears in his eyes.
"God… Buddha… Gacha gods of the universe… you heard me."
Then he sniffled.
"…Please let me pull at least an A-tier first. No, even C-rank catgirl maids would do, please!"
He was practically begging.
The blue screen pulsed one last time as if answering his prayers.
[Initializing First Summon…]