The goblin beside me was naked, just like me.
My face turned sickly green,(just like a goblin)
I was trying my best to not puke out the contents of my stomach
"No, no,no"
I don't wanna think about it.
"System!"
I screamed
[Beep-Beep]
The system booted with a loud sound
==============================
[ SYSTEM INTERFACE ]
==============================
> USER: Reynald K. Dawson
> ALIAS: Gooner #9,387,111
> RACE: Human(19) (Reincarnated)
> CLASS: ??? (Undecided)
> LEVEL: 1
------------------------------
[ TITLES ]
------------------------------
- [Unclothed Idiot] — Default starter title.
- [First Kill: Goblin Slayer-ish] — Earned after waking up next to a dead goblin.
- [Reincarnator] — Hidden title. May unlock special events.
------------------------------
[ ATTRIBUTES ]
------------------------------
Strength : 5 // "You can lift a chair. Maybe."
Agility : 6 // "Ran from a raccoon once. Impressive."
Intelligence : 11 // "You were an accountant. That counts."
Vitality : 4 // "Bruises like a peach."
Luck : 15 // "You shouldn't have survived Chapter 1."
Charisma : 3 // "Tried flirting with a tree. It didn't work."
------------------------------
[ SKILLS ]
------------------------------
[System Awareness Lv. 1]
→ Basic understanding of how the system works.
[Quick Math Lv. 2]
→ Fast mental calculations.
[Panic Dodge Lv. 1]
→ Flails wildly when in danger. 15% success rate.
[Goblin Loot Scavenger Lv. 1]
→ Slightly higher chance of finding semi-useful stuff on goblins.
------------------------------
[ INVENTORY ]
------------------------------
- Rusty Dagger (Used) — Found near goblin. Smells weird.
- System Manual (Unread) — Seriously, read it.
------------------------------
[ QUESTS ]
------------------------------
[Main Quest: Survive the Tutorial Arc]
→ Objective: Don't die.
→ Reward: Access to class selection.
[Side Quest: Find Pants]
→ Objective: Acquire lower body clothing.
→ Reward: +10 Dignity, +5 Charisma (if they fit well).
==============================
My stats were horrible!
And why the fuck will i be naked in the middle of nowhere? it didn't make sense!
"Surely, I had better stats than this in my previous life."
[**Buzzzzzz**]
The shitty system seemed to disagree with me.
Walking was much harder without any shoes.
Constantly stepping over rocks that were pre-heated by the merciless sun.
Where the hell do i find pants here?
I walked into the forest near me.
I needed to cover my little buddy, even if it was with leaves.
I didn't want direct sunlight on my pee-pee
I just might get foreskin cancer.
The next part should've been easy,
I needed a vine and a few leaves to hide my family jewels and my virgin…. Knowing this guy ,the hole might not be virgin after all.
But how do i even use the vine to tie the leaves into a leaf skirt?
Whenever i did try to tie the whole stuff together, the whole thing didn't have any structural integrity.
The skirt fell apart with a gust of wind.
Thwack!
Thwack!
Thwack!
I was punching the tree in front of me in frustration,
The system kept showing me the same panels.
"Help me just this once,big bro"
I said to the system.
The system whirred, not a shred of empathy in it's mechanical soul.
[insufficient stats to unlock the system shop
:(]
Are you mocking me? You bitch!
"Aaaahhhhhhh"
A high pitched voice reverberated across the forest.
i turned my head toward the voice.
There was a woman wearing what looked like some kind of uniform.
My lil dingy rose up,completely betraying me .
The one leaf covering it fell like a defeated soldier
"Hey,miss!"
I tried to call her for help.
"Perveeeeeert!!!"
She screamed while running away.