Yuki dashed toward the forest like a hero charging in to save the day. For about ten meters.
"Hah… hah… OH GOD I'M DYING!" he gasped, bending over with his hands on his knees, wheezing like an asthmatic grandpa. "Damn it, I forgot my stamina's still trash—just like a jobless otaku!"
He glanced at the forest. Still stupidly far.
At this rate, the party in danger would be nothing but corpses by the time he got there.
"I need something faster," Yuki muttered, wracking his brain. "If only I could fly like Superman…"
Then it hit him—like a bolt of nerdy lightning.
"Wait, flying broomsticks! Like in Harry Potter!"
But his enthusiasm quickly deflated. "Shit. My only skill is transmutation magic. I can only turn minerals into... slightly different minerals."
He picked up a wooden stick but sighed again. "Organic material. Damn rules. Can't transmute this into anything useful."
"So what, I gotta run there like a peasant?" he groaned. "I'd build a jet if I had enough metal lying around!"
Grumbling like an angry aunt forced to walk to the market, Yuki started running again—reluctantly.
---
Meanwhile, deep in the forest, absolute chaos had erupted.
GRROOOAAARRR!
The roar of a Minotaur thundered across the woods. The beast towered nearly four meters tall, all rippling muscles and raw rage, wielding a warhammer the size of a tree trunk.
The five-member adventurer party it had cornered? Pure panic.
"RUUUN!" screamed Alexandria, their A-rank leader—currently sprinting like a kindergartener chased by a rabid dog.
And yes, she literally pissed herself.
"BOSS! WAIT FOR US!" shouted two young noble-looking guys, crying like teenage girls at a breakup concert.
Behind them, two girls. One was an orange-haired mage, pale as a ghost and trembling so hard she could barely walk. The other was a silver-haired healer—graceful, beautiful, and currently panicking while trying hard to stay composed.
"KYAAAA! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" the mage screamed, tripping over nothing.
The healer—Luna—grabbed her hand. "Come on! I'll help!"
"LUNA! HURRY!" Alexandria yelled.
The group managed to duck behind a massive boulder, panting and dripping with cold sweat.
"What the hell?! Why is there a Minotaur in a newbie forest?!" Alexandria trembled.
"Minotaurs only show up in high-level dungeons," one of the nobles stammered.
"This is the first time one's been seen here," added the other.
Then Alexandria's eyes turned toward Luna, full of suspicion and rage.
"This is your fault, Luna," she accused, pointing a finger.
"What? Why me?" Luna's eyes widened.
"You just joined our party yesterday! Before you came, we were totally fine!"
"I didn't do anything—"
"YOU'RE BAD LUCK!" the mage yelled. "We're gonna die because of you!"
"Yeah! We were fine until you showed up!" the noble echoed.
Luna's face crumpled. She'd been blamed before. It still hurt every time.
"I've got an idea," Alexandria said with a nasty grin. "Let's sacrifice Luna. Use her as bait to distract the Minotaur so we can run."
"YES! AGREED!" everyone shouted in perfect, evil harmony.
"Wait! You can't—!" Luna backed away in shock.
But they moved fast. Alexandria and the nobles grabbed her while the mage covered her mouth.
"Sorry, Luna," Alexandria sneered. "But our lives matter more."
They dragged her out and threw her right in front of the rampaging Minotaur.
GRROOOAAARRR!
The beast turned toward the fallen girl, eyes glowing red, warhammer rising high.
"No—!" Luna screamed, shutting her eyes.
BOOM!
The hammer slammed down, shattering the ground, rocks flying, a thick cloud of dust rising.
The party bolted.
"Bye Luna! Thanks for the sacrifice!" Alexandria cackled.
But they didn't get far.
The Minotaur, confused by the lack of corpse, roared even louder—and chased them instead.
"WHAT THE HELL?! WHY'S IT CHASING US?!" the mage screamed.
"RUNNN!" Alexandria yelled again—yes, peeing herself a second time.
Back in the dust cloud, Luna slowly opened her eyes.
...She was alive?
"You okay?" a voice asked.
Above her stood a guy holding her princess-style. Long brown hair. Not bad-looking, honestly. But his clothes…
"Who... who are you, hobo?" Luna asked, confused.
Yuki immediately dropped her.
"OW!" Luna winced.
"I just saved you like a damn prince and you call me a HOBO?!" Yuki snapped.
"Sorry! I didn't mean— I mean… you do look like one…"
"STILL?!"
"I'm just honest!" Luna bowed repeatedly. "Thank you for saving me!"
"Whatever," Yuki brushed off the dirt. "You better run. That Minotaur's still out there."
"Wait!" Luna grabbed his hand. "Please save my party too!"
"WHAT?! You mean the assholes who threw you to die?! Why would you even—?!"
"I know they're awful… but I can't just let them die," Luna said, eyes filled with genuine concern.
Yuki stared. "…Girl, you're way too nice."
"Please! I promise I'll pay you back!" Luna begged, nearly bowing.
Yuki sighed. "Fine," he said, pulling out an AK-47. "But don't blame me if they're still trash after this."
"Thank you! You're the best, hobo hero!"
"STOP CALLING ME HOBO!"
***
In a clearing, the party was completely cornered. The Minotaur roared, swinging wildly.
"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" the mage screamed—then passed out on her feet.
"MOMMY! I WANNA GO HOME!" one noble bawled.
"I'M STILL A VIRGIN! I'M NOT READY TO DIE!" the other howled.
Alexandria just sat down in defeat.
Then—
DADADADADADADADA!
Gunfire ripped through the air, pelting the Minotaur. Its thick hide shrugged off the bullets.
"WHO THE HELL—?!" Alexandria turned.
Yuki stepped out of the trees, AK blazing, looking like some off-brand forest Rambo.
"Hobo?" everyone gasped.
"Screw you, RUN!" Yuki yelled. "Ungrateful bastards!"
The party scattered like roaches hit with bug spray.
Now it was just Yuki vs the Minotaur.
GRROOOAAARRR!
It glared at him, hammer raised.
"Heh… peace, bro?" Yuki chuckled nervously, inching back.
The Minotaur answered with a hammer swing that nearly blew his face off.
"NOPE, NO NEGOTIATING!" Yuki sprinted, gun empty.
He tossed a grenade.
BOOOOM!
Massive explosion. Trees fell. The Minotaur stumbled... then got even angrier.
"ARE YOU BULLET-PROOF OR WHAT?!" Yuki yelled while running.
He zigzagged as destruction followed him. Trees shattered. Stones crushed. Earth split open.
Then—an idea.
"A dumbass idea… but it might work."
He grabbed five small stones and ran toward the shattered clearing.
When the Minotaur was close enough, Yuki tossed them into the air.
"TRANSMUTATION MAGIC: INSTANT METEORS!"
SHING! SHING! SHING!
The stones transformed into giant iron balls—each the size of a small house.
They came crashing down at terminal velocity.
BOOOOM! BOOOOM! BOOOOM!
Massive impact. The earth cracked. Smoke filled the air.
"HELL YEAH!" Yuki cheered, striking a victory pose.
From the smoke, Luna ran up and hugged him.
"Thank you, hero!"
"Finally, someone called me a hero!" Yuki beamed. "Say it again!"
"Thank you, hero… hobo!" she said sweetly.
THUD. Yuki mentally collapsed.
"AGAIN WITH THE HOBO THING?!"
"Hehe, sorry! Force of habit," Luna giggled.
"By the way, what's your name?"
"Yuki. Yours?"
"Luna. Nice to meet you, Yuki the Hobo Hero!"
"STOP ADDING 'HOBO'!"
***
Continued – Back at the Guild
The walk back to the guild was... awkward as hell.
Yuki stomped ahead, mumbling curses under his breath, while Luna trailed behind, giggling like she was watching a sitcom.
As they stepped into the guild...
"YUKI'S BACK WITH ANOTHER HOT GIRL!" someone shouted.
"ANOTHER ONE?!"
"LAURA'S GONNA FREAK!"
The male adventurers—loyal simps of Laura—lost it.
"YUKI'S OUT OF CONTROL!"
"HE'S GONNA BREAK LAURA'S HEART!"
"LET'S JUMP HIM!"
Gerald, who had apparently recovered from his last beating, jumped on top of a table and unsheathed his sword dramatically.
"YUKI! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL AGAIN!" he bellowed. "YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!"
"Wait, wait—" Luna panicked, waving her arms. "You've got it all wrong! I'm not his girlfriend!"
Silence fell.
"…Really?" asked every single guy, their hope reigniting.
"Really! He just saved me, that's all!"
"HOORAAAAY!!!"
The room exploded into cheers. Hats flew in the air. One guy cried tears of joy.
"YUKI'S SAFE!"
Gerald climbed down sheepishly. "Hehe, sorry bro. False alarm."
Yuki just facepalmed. "This place is insane."
At the counter, Laura was waiting—smiling sweetly with murder in her eyes.
"Welcome back, darling," she said, gripping the counter so hard it cracked. "And… who is your lovely friend?"
"This is Luna," Yuki replied, pulling out a bag. "An adventurer I helped out. And I've got these to turn in."
He dumped the bag on the counter—monster cores spilled out.
Laura blinked. "How many is that?!"
"Forty-seven slime cores, twenty-three bunny cores… and one bonus Minotaur core."
He dropped a giant crystal onto the desk.
"MINOTAUR?!" Laura gasped. "You killed a freaking Minotaur?!"
The whole guild went dead silent.
Minotaurs were ranked B. Normal people didn't just… solo them.
Yuki shrugged. "Got lucky. It was injured."
"Still… with this many cores… you're promoted to E-rank!" Laura said, updating his card.
"Still trash-tier," someone muttered.
"E-rank's basically still a noob."
Yuki now had a shiny new "Rank E" card—and still got no respect.
***
Later, the three of them—Yuki, Luna, and Laura—sat at a quiet corner table.
Laura was glued to Yuki's left side like she'd fused with him. Her assets bumped his arm every few seconds.
"You okay, babe?" she purred, stroking his hair.
Across from them, Luna was watching with visible disgust. "Are you guys… dating?"
"NO!" Yuki answered instantly.
"NOT YET!" Laura said at the same time.
Luna snorted. "You two are hilarious."
"I'm not funny, I'm cool!" Yuki protested.
"You're cool… for a hobo," Luna grinned.
"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP CALLING ME THAT?!"
Laura pulled Yuki even closer, giving Luna a death glare.
"Hey Luna," Yuki said, trying to change the topic. "Why do people keep saying you're bad luck?"
Luna's smile faded.
"…Every time I join a party, a crazy-strong monster shows up and wipes us. Seven parties disbanded because of me."
"Could just be coincidence," Yuki said gently.
"I thought that too," Luna murmured. "But it keeps happening. Over and over…"
She looked down, eyes misty.
"I must be cursed…"
Yuki instinctively leaned forward to comfort her—until Laura yanked his ear.
"OW! What the hell?!"
"No hugging other girls in front of your future wife!" Laura snapped.
Luna laughed softly, despite her sadness. "You two really are couple goals."
"WE'RE NOT A COUPLE!"
***
A few hours later, Luna stood up.
"I should go. Thanks for hanging out."
"I'll walk you—" Yuki offered.
"No, I can go by myself!" Luna said quickly—too quickly. Like she was hiding something.
"But it's dangerous—"
"I can take care of myself! Bye!" She bolted out of the guild like someone just shouted "final exam."
Yuki stared after her. "Weird. Why's she in such a rush?"
"Maybe she's embarrassed," Laura said, still latched onto him. "Probably lives in a rundown shack."
"Hmm. Maybe…"
What they didn't know... was that Luna was heading in the opposite direction of the slums.
She was going toward the royal district.
***
At a hidden gate concealed by shrubs, Luna pulled out a special key and opened a secret passage into the castle grounds.
As soon as she stepped in, a group of servants bowed.
"Welcome back, Your Highness Princess Elisa Hearthfilia," the head butler said.
"Don't call me that outside the palace," Luna—no, Princess Elisa—replied as she walked to her luxurious room. "And don't tell Father I was out adventuring."
"Yes, Your High—...Understood."
She entered a room straight out of a royal fantasy. Gold-threaded curtains. A crystal wardrobe. Velvet furniture. A private garden balcony.
She changed out of her adventurer gear into a glittering princess gown, but her thoughts lingered elsewhere.
"The Hobo Hero, huh…" she whispered with a smile. "He's… different."
Unbeknownst to her, a cloaked figure watched from behind a palace pillar.
"Damn it. We failed to kill Princess Elisa again," the shadowed figure muttered. "And who the hell was that hobo bastard who saved her? He killed a Minotaur alone…"
The figure vanished into the darkness, leaving behind a sinister aura.
***
Meanwhile, back on the street, Yuki sneezed.
"ACHOO!"
"Someone must be talking about me…" he muttered, wiping his nose. "Probably Luna, bragging to her friends about the badass Hobo Hero who saved her."
Little did he know, he'd just stumbled into a royal conspiracy that would turn his entire life upside down.
To be continued…