It had already been two weeks since I had demonstrated my medical ninjutsu abilities—two weeks during which my deeds were told throughout the village and even the surrounding areas. My relationship with others had also changed. The villagers were no longer simply surprised by my hair and eye color; few dared to approach me. At first, I thought they were afraid of me, but after observing the warm, kind looks they gave me, I realized they avoided getting close out of fear of bothering me.
During that time, Asura continued to stay by my side. He wanted to make up for the lack of trust he had shown. His presence had a calming effect on me. By his side, I felt like I was regaining some sense of clarity. I had the strange feeling that I belonged here, as if this had always been my place. I comforted myself with the thought that it was simply due to his resemblance to Naruto. Thanks to him, I felt less alone and could sometimes forget the pain I carried since their deaths.
I learned a lot about the village and Hagoromo's teachings through Asura's stories. Our interactions weren't limited to information sharing something deeper formed between us. We had even gotten into the habit of walking together near the village and having tea when our schedules allowed it. Megumi often teased me about it, saying that Asura had never shown so much attention to anyone—especially not a woman. She even confided that he rarely showed interest in women, but since my arrival, there had been a drast...
"Sakura ! I swear, there is no woman more beautiful than you on this earth !" said Asura seriously.
"Asura... thank you for trying to reassure me, but people act strangely when they see my hair or eyes," I said, unconvinced.
"That's because they've never seen such colors on a person," he said, looking me straight in the eyes.
"W-What ?" I asked, taken aback.
"You must've noticed by now, but people here all have brown or black hair and eyes. No one, except for my father, has different physical traits. So people are fascinated by your beauty," he said, smiling.
Now that he mentioned it, it was true that I had noticed a uniformity in the villagers' hair and eye colors. I had first assumed it was just a regional trait, but when I was brought to nearby villages to provide care, I realized they all shared the same features. I couldn't understand how such physical differences could exist while still being on the same planet, among human beings.
What factor could explain the difference between our two eras ? As I thought it over, one major factor stood out the use of chakra. In the era I'm currently in, chakra is still in its infancy. It hasn't yet modified human metabolism. In my era, we use chakra constantly, we're born with it. Could its prolonged use over the years have caused a genetic shift ? That could explain the more diverse physical features in my time... and even why some clans developed hereditary powers.
But what genetic code could be responsible for such a shift in the years to come? Such a discovery could revolutionize the shinobi world but in the wrong hands, it could lead to terrible consequences. My years of experience in medicine might help me understand this phenomenon, but was it really worth my time and energy ?
"Hey Sakura, are you even listening ?" asked Asura, waving his hand in front of my face.
"Oh, sorry Asura, I was lost in my..."
"Thoughts ?" he said with a smile.
I looked at him and returned the smile.
"You often get lost in your thoughts. Sometimes, it feels like there's a huge gap between us when you start thinking too much," he said, concerned.
"I'm sorry, there are still so many things I'm trying to understand," I said, trying to reassure him.
"That's exactly when I feel that gap the most—when you try to reassure me. It feels like you're burdened by something. You know, you can talk to me. I might be able to help."
"Actually... I..."
"MASTER ASURA !! MASTER ASURA !!" shouted a young man running toward us.
"What is it, Kentarou ?" Asura asked, clearly annoyed.
"It's Master Indra... he lost control in the arena..." he said, panicked.
Without another word, Asura sprinted toward the arena. I followed him to see what was going on.
When we arrived, a bloodbath unfolded before us. Indra was covered in red liquid that matched the crimson of his eyes. In front of him lay about ten unconscious men, bleeding out. Their pale skin suggested the worst. The sight froze me in place, I couldn't move to help the victims.
Asura had approached the fallen men before storming furiously toward his older brother, grabbing him by the collar.
"INDRA !! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE AGAIN !!?"
He looked at him with a detached expression. He didn't seem to take the current situation seriously, as if all of this was completely normal.
"INDRAAA! ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER ME ?!" Asura shouted again.
He sighed, clearly exasperated by his brother's behavior. He placed his hand on Asura's, which was gripping his collar, and removed it with unsettling ease.
"Why do you care about their fate, Asura ? They don't deserve so much of your anger," Indra said in a detached tone.
"Why... why ?? Indra, they're almost dead, and you don't care ?"
"Death is a gift for the useless," Indra said simply.
You are useless, Sakura.
Indra's words struck me like a thunderbolt. I felt as if I were facing him again-hearing him, feeling him. Yes, it felt like I was standing before Sasuke, when darkness had taken him over. My blood boiled at that painful reminder.
"How can you speak that way about your comrades ? They respect you deeply !"
"Instead of wasting their time idolizing someone, they should focus on becoming stronger. You should do the same instead of wasting time on frivolities," he said, casting me a disdainful look.
Asura followed his brother's gaze, and when he realized whom Indra was referring to, he flared up again.
"I forbid you to speak of Sakura that way !" Asura said, clenching his fists.
Indra merely smirked before vanishing into thick smoke.
Asura stared for a moment at the spot where his brother had stood, his face tense with anger. Then he pulled himself together and turned to me with a smile that tried to be warm but only masked his inner turmoil. He rushed to the injured men to help them. I watched the scene, still stunned. I hadn't even noticed Asura calling out to me repeatedly until he came over and placed both hands on my shoulders.
"Sakura ?" he asked, concerned.
"Huh ?" I responded weakly.
"Are you alright ? That scene... must have been a shock..." he said apologetically.
I didn't know what to say. Yes, I was paralyzed by what I had just witnessed, it had brought back a deeply painful memory.
"I hate to ask this, but... could you help administer first aid to these men ? They're in a really bad state."
His request snapped me out of my trance. I hadn't even realized I'd forgotten to tend to the wounded. I had been so overwhelmed by that haunting memory that I had completely blocked out my surroundings. Without delay, I rushed to the victims to provide medical care.
After treating their injuries, I handed them over to the medical staff. Asura was waiting for me outside the hospice, lost in thought.
"Asura ?" I said with a faint smile.
"Oh, Sakura... how are they ?" he asked.
"They're going to be fine. They're out of danger, but they'll need to stay in bed for a while. Were you waiting for me ?" I asked.
"Yes... I wanted to talk to you..." he said thoughtfully.
"I'm sorry !" I suddenly blurted out.
"Huh ? What ? Why are you apologizing ?" Asura asked, surprised.
"I took too long to treat them... I'm a terrible medic..." I said with a pained smile.
"Are you kidding ?! You're the best medic I know, Sakura ! You shouldn't apologize. If anything, I should be the one saying sorry..." he said, lowering his head.
"Why would you apologize, Asura ?"
"You looked traumatized... My brother... Indra... he wasn't always like this! He used to be so full of love, but lately, he's changed. I'm not trying to excuse him, but... he's my brother, and he scared you," he said shamefully.
"Asura... that's not what you think, I—"
"I saw it clearly, Sakura. When you looked at Indra and that scene, your face froze in horror. It was like... you were staring at death itself. I'm sorry, Sakura... I wanted to give you a safe environment... but my brother... you must be worried..." Asura said, lowering his head again.
I looked at Asura closely. His face conveyed all the pain he was feeling in that moment. I knew he loved his brother, but every strike Indra gave felt like a wound to Asura himself. I could see the despair on his face.
Asura lifted his head and looked at me with intense seriousness. His eyes seemed to want to pierce deeply into mine.
"But Indra will never raise his hand against you, I promise you that, Sakura," he said, letting a warm smile form on his face.
Why... why do you also have to make me a promise ?
I was sure Asura thought he could reassure me with such a promise or maybe he was trying to convince himself that Indra would never go that far. But... that promise he just made felt like a dagger to the heart. It brought me back to one conclusion... yes, once again, I felt it.
You are weak, Sakura.
*** *** ***
Life here went on peacefully, at least on the surface. The recent events had pulled me back to reality. It's true, the environment was calm, people seemed to support one another, and there was no war quite the contrast to the life I had known before coming here. However, despite the seemingly serene atmosphere, deep down, I could feel it—the heavy, suffocating tension slowly taking root.
Looking at the lush forest where Indra had taken refuge since "the incident," I could already see the first glimpses of darkness that would plunge this world into endless war. I felt powerless, as if chains bound me, keeping me from bringing light to that forest. But I couldn't give up before I had even tried. Hagoromo could say what he wanted—he had seen the future of his sons and still hadn't acted. He had continued giving chakra to humans, teaching them how to use it giving them the power to kill. The greate...
But I also knew I could never reach him. Hagoromo existed on a level far beyond my grasp. My second option lay with his eldest son. My goal, then, was to get closer to Indra. It was his descent into darkness that would turn a world of peace into centuries of bloodshed.
The very thought of getting close to him made me nauseous. History may have painted him as a victim of Zetsu's darkness, but it was his greed and ego that made him fall so foolishly. I couldn't pity him. No, it was impossible to feel compassion for such a person. In some way, he reminded me of Sasuke... and that forced me to remember my failure to save them.
My eyes couldn't look away from that forest, which harbored one of the greatest threats of the centuries to come. Without realizing it, my feet had brought me to its edge.
I am weak.
Yes, I was so lost despite having a goal. What had I managed to do since arriving here? Besides crying and hiding behind Asura, I had done nothing.
I am incompetent.
I sighed mechanically and clenched my fists while looking at the dirt path stretching ahead of me.
I am useless.
As I stared at that path, I tried to see how far it might lead. The more I focused on its end, the more it disappeared into vast darkness.
I am weak, incompetent, and useless. I didn't even manage to die to be with you again.
With that last thought, I smiled sadly and clenched my fists tighter. It was true, after all—I knew my research could only have ended one way... in my death. Like Chiyo who gave her life to bring Gaara back, I knew I had to die to see them again. But now, I could admit it to myself that was what I had been searching for in that lab. I had been looking for a way to die, because life had become a living hell.
But then... what was I afraid of ? Why wasn't I doing everything I could here ?
Yes, even if it cost me my life again, this time, I would do everything to make my plan succeed. I could succeed, because I knew Indra and Asura's future. So if getting closer to Indra didn't work, if I couldn't save him from the darkness, I would still be able to find the death I had been searching for. And if it came to that end, this time my kunai would strike and I would leave with Indra. I wouldn't make the same mistake as when I stopped my kunai mere centimeters from Sasuke's back. If only I had kille...
Reality had just struck me in the heart. This truth I had tried so hard to hide, to forget, to bury... I had sunk into deep denial just to avoid facing this guilt.
Yes... I was the one who killed Naruto.
Without realizing it, my legs gave out, and I collapsed to the ground. My tears flooded my face, and I couldn't stop them. My breathing was ragged. I couldn't breathe normally. I screamed, I was in pain, so much pain that I felt like I was being pierced from all sides by katanas. My cries echoed through the forest, and the dense trees amplified my voice. I felt it, yes, I felt the darkness consuming me entirely. My indecision had led to the deaths of the two people I loved most.
Despite being in a state of deep trauma, I could see him.
He was there, standing before me, looking at me with an expressionless gaze. His red eyes seemed to be trying to peer into my soul.
Die... die... if I managed to eliminate him... everything would end, wouldn't it ?
As my cries continued to echo, I saw him approach me. With every step he took, I felt my strength slipping away. When he was just inches from me, I no longer had the strength to move. My cries, my tears—they stopped. I collapsed completely to the ground.
With one last burst of energy, I locked my emerald eyes into his crimson ones and whispered in a nearly inaudible breath:
"I hate you..."