The Pursuit of Understanding
My purpose in traveling is not merely to see the world.
It's not just to conquer mountains,
or cross oceans.
But to understand.
I want an understanding of everything.
Not just to know
but to truly grasp.
Not just to memorize teachings,
but to absorb them
until they become one with my breath...
and my steps.
I want to know:
How can water be calm
yet so destructive?
How can the wind be invisible
yet leave its mark?
How can the sky remain still
yet protect everything?
How can the earth be mute
yet support the world?
I want to know:
Why do people laugh when they are hurt?
Why are some silent when they are angry?
Why do some leave without saying goodbye?
And why do others stay...
even when they were never asked?
I want to learn it all.
Not because I'm greedy
but because I feel there is something deeper
behind everything we usually see.
If I see a flower blooming on a mountain,
I want to know what drives it to grow
in such a remote place.
If I see a child laugh,
I want to know how that laughter
is born from simplicity.
I seek understanding
not only in martial arts
but in life itself.
Someone once told me:
"The strong can break rocks.
But those who understand...
can make the rock follow their will."
And I've started to see:
Understanding is not just knowledge.
It is a connection.
Between myself... and everything.
It's not about who is higher,
or stronger.
It's about how deeply
I can feel something
and not reject it.
I don't want to be someone
who only knows how to fight.
I want to be someone
who can read a soul through a glance,
feel time in silence,
and know a person's feelings
just from their breath.
Because if this world is vast and infinite...
Then understanding has no end.
And I
will keep walking.
Until my steps
become understanding itself.
I sit cross-legged on a flat stone.
The morning air is still. There is no sound. Only my breath slowly becoming the only vibration in this world.
The outer world is silent. But the inner world... begins to speak.
I close my eyes. And as if my body disappears, I enter myself
Into something vaster than the sky, and deeper than the ocean.
Inside, there is no academy. No name. No army.
Only me... and everything I have ever experienced.
Water flows. The sky trembles. The earth forms a foothold.
The wind doesn't just blow it touches my soul.
One by one, my understanding increases, like an echo in a vast valley:
Water calm, gentle, yet unstoppable. Silence not an absence, but a force that refuses to be shaken. Absence like a shadow that leaves no trace. Fear a mirror in which courage is reflected. The sky vast, but silent. The earth firm, yet accepting of everything.
I am at the center of it all. And I am no longer just Li Yuan.
I am the unifier of all that I have come to understand.
In my meditation, I realize one thing:
"The deeper I go within myself, the wider the world I find."
In the distance, in my inner world, I see a shadow of myself walking slowly.
He doesn't turn away. But I know:
He is me, the one who is growing. Not because of power... but because of understanding.
And when I open my eyes, the morning sky is still the same. The wind is still gentle. The earth is still warm.
But I...
have changed.
In the silence of my meditation, I see that figure.
He stands far away, at the edge of my world where the sky seems to end, and the ground is no more.
He has no face. Just a shadow. But I know who he is.
He is not an enemy. He is not a friend. He is... fear.
His body trembles faintly, like mist that almost vanishes when approached. And because of that he feels most real.
When I step closer, he doesn't retreat. He doesn't attack.
He just stands there, staring at me without eyes, silent without sound yet pressing down on my breath heavier than anything.
I don't say anything. I don't need to.
Because before me stood every fear I had ever felt:
The fear of being left behind. The fear of failure. The fear that all this training... would never be enough. The fear of being ordinary. The fear that I would never understand the world.
I look at him. And he looks back without eyes, without form.
And at that moment, I realize:
He doesn't want to stop me. He wants me to decide.
Will I stay where I am or keep walking, even with him beside me?
I take a deep breath. And for the first time, I say to him:
"You can stay here. But I will keep walking."
At that moment, the figure rises like smoke, and merges into my chest.
Not disappearing. Not leaving. But becoming a part of me.
When I open my eyes from meditation, I don't feel stronger. But I feel more whole.
The fear is still there. But this time, not as an obstacle but as a direction marker.
And that day, I made a decision.
It's not about strength. It's not about glory. But about myself.
"I will walk, even if the path is not clear. I will learn, even if understanding comes slowly. I will live, even if the world doesn't always accept me."
That was my decision.
And that... was a new beginning.