In the silence of my meditation,I saw that figure.
He stood far away,at the edge of my inner world—where the sky seemed to end,and the ground no longer existed.
He had no face.Only shadow.But I knew who he was.
He was not an enemy.He was not a friend.He was… fear.
His body trembled faintly,like mist that nearly vanishes when approached.And because of that—he felt the most real.
When I stepped closer,he didn't back away.He didn't attack.
He just stood there,staring at me without eyes,silent without a voice—yet pressing on my breathheavier than anything else.
I said nothing.I didn't need to.
Because before mestood every fear I had ever felt:
Fear of being left behind.Fear of failure.Fear that all this training… would never be enough.Fear of being ordinary.Fear that I would never understand the world.
I looked at him.And he looked back—without eyes, without form.
And in that moment, I realized:
He didn't want to stop me.He wanted me to decide.
Would I stay where I was—or keep walking, even with him beside me?
I took a deep breath.And for the first time,I said to him:
"You may stay here.But I will keep walking."
At that moment,the figure rose like smoke,and merged into my chest.
Not disappearing.Not gone.But becoming a part of me.
When I opened my eyes from meditation,I didn't feel stronger.But I felt more whole.
The fear was still there.But this time,not as an obstacle—but as a marker of direction.
And that day,I made a decision.
Not about strength.Not about glory.But about myself.
"I will walk,even if the path is unclear.I will learn,even if understanding comes slowly.I will live,even if the world doesn't always accept me."
That was my decision.
And that…was a new beginning.