What kind of mood was Tsunade in right now?
Was she blushing? Shocked? Speechless? Or excited?
None of the above!
Only anger could accurately describe her current feelings. "Jiraiya! Did you forget to take your meds today? What are you trying to do with this sports car and tuxedo routine?"
Jiraiya casually flipped his hand, about to adjust his hair when he suddenly remembered Shen Banshen's advice—tycoons don't need to show off!
Slowly slipping his hand into his pocket, he officially announced something using his unique voice, "Woman, you've successfully caught my attention."
"Bravo!" Dan was nearly ready to give him a round of applause.
This white-haired weirdo who'd grown up treating the Konoha Bathhouse like his personal playground, and who peeked at girls daily, had such a domineering side. It completely shattered Dan's previous impression of him.
He silently took a few steps back, deciding to become a bystander and fully enjoy this spectacular drama.
Confused, Tsunade wore an expression identical to that of a certain old man on the subway: "What exactly are you implying?"
"Exactly what I said. Also, woman, you really should guard your virtue more carefully." Jiraiya glanced at Dan, his tone carrying slight disdain. "I advise you not to associate too much with men whose backgrounds are unknown."
Quiet observer Dan was shocked—he seemed to have unknowingly become the third party interfering in someone else's relationship.
"Cough cough, me and Tsunade—"
"Dan, shut up!" The furious Tsunade didn't even turn around, immediately stopping him from continuing. "At least he doesn't spend all day peeping at girls!"
Jiraiya let out a bitter smile.
Only now did he realize how truly annoying his hobby could be.
"I'm not spying—I'm admiring art."
Well then! This new domineering version of Jiraiya even dared to say such things confidently—who needs headlines tomorrow? There goes tomorrow's headline!
Tsunade lowered her head after hearing this, clenching her fists tightly, seemingly ready to punch this guy flying any second.
Helpful Dan kindly advised, "Hey, both of you, just listen to me for a moment—"
"Pale pretty boy, shut up!" Without even looking, Jiraiya directly ignored Dan's kindness.
"Pale pretty boy?" Dan was stunned.
Being tall, handsome, and fair-skinned wasn't even something he could control—so why did that make him a 'pale pretty boy'?
In the adjacent alleyway, Shen and Nawaki were both startled by Jiraiya's behavior.
"I think he'll get punched away by my sister in one hit."
"I actually don't believe that. Outwardly fierce women like my sister usually have very gentle hearts inside."
"How would you know that?"
"This great immortal knows everything—"
"Cut it short—he's onto us!"
Interrupting Shen Banshen's self-introduction was none other than Tsunade herself, who yanked Dan forward from behind and hugged his arm.
"That's right, I do prefer pale pretty boys like him!"
Jiraiya's expression didn't change, but his entire body went stiff.
How could Tsunade suddenly drop her guard like that—
That news hit like a thunderclap. He stood there frozen solid for nearly two full minutes before he could even blink.
"I won't give up."
Jiraiya finished with those words and turned around, striding away with a dashing flair.
It wasn't until his figure disappeared from Tsunade's sight that she finally released her grip on Katou, who had unknowingly become her human shield.
"Sorry, Dan. Just pretend nothing happened just now."
Dan, who had unexpectedly served as a decoy, looked at her lonely back and instantly realized he might truly be mistaken for the third party.
Walking along, Jiraiya soon arrived at the alley where Nawaki and Shen were.
"Waaah!" He hugged both of them tightly, sobbing loudly.
"Tsunade doesn't want me anymore! Wahhh!"
Shen, disgusted, immediately turned his head sideways to avoid the snot dangerously close to his face.
The unfortunate Nawaki ended up getting smeared by this slimy trail and was immediately disgusted beyond measure.
After Jiraiya somewhat regained his composure, the emotional expert Shen spoke again: "Uncle Jiraiya, it's obvious Katou was just a shield! A decoy!"
"A shield? A decoy?"
"Yeah! Not long after you left, Aunt Tsunade let go and walked off alone by herself."
"So what you're saying is..."
"So what I'm saying is... there's still hope!"
"Hahaha! She's just soft-hearted under that sharp tongue!" Now in high spirits, Jiraiya believed Tsunade had a soft spot for him deep inside. "She must definitely have feelings for me!"
"But Aunt Tsunade currently has absolutely no romantic feelings toward you at all," Shen quickly threw cold water on his excitement.
"She simply felt a bit disappointed toward Uncle Jiraiya, who she's known since childhood—as a friend?" Following his micro-expression analysis results, Shen explained: "It's just disappointment between friends. People shouldn't be too greedy, you know?"
Jiraiya froze: "Greedy?"
"You know, wanting what's already in your bowl and eyeing what's in the pot too. Tell me, Uncle Jiraiya, is that reasonable?"
"That's obviously unreasonable, but I..."
Shen directly tore through his pretense: "Women would always choose an honest rogue rather than a hypocrite!"
"I'm just—"
Gently patting his shoulder, Shen made himself perfectly clear: "Uncle Jiraiya, don't be a pathetic guy. If you want to look at pretty girls, then just look openly! What's the point of sneaking peeks?"
Being lecherous? For a man, what kind of problem is that really?
But based on Jiraiya's behavior—sneaking looks but not daring to make a move—he clearly cared deeply about others' opinions.
Always trying not to get caught red-handed, yet constantly getting discovered as a pervert...
Truthfully speaking, he probably enjoyed the act itself—the thrill of his heart pounding wildly, fearing discovery at any moment.
If you're going to do it, be a pervert without shame!
"I see!" At this very moment, Jiraiya experienced sudden enlightenment: "I'll never sneak peek again! I shall become a pervert with taste!"
"Well said," nodded Shen approvingly, hands behind his back: "You're finally getting it! Even rough stones can be carved."
Unable to change Jiraiya's inherent lustful nature completely, they decided first to eliminate his sleazy atmosphere.
A man has to be bold and fearless if he wants to win a woman's heart.
Running off quietly when you get caught peeking? That gets you nowhere!
"You've got to stare straight ahead like you haven't done a damn thing wrong."
"There's no way they won't get sick of it after a few years of watching," Shen mused. By then, Jiraiya would finally understand just how dull this whole act really was.
"If you're chasing excitement, then you'd better see it through to the very end!"
Jiraiya, who had attained enlightenment, watched Shen's retreating figure with burning eyes. The words left behind by the other man—he planned to shout them aloud every morning upon waking up, to strengthen his belief.
Nawaki stood there quietly, watching it all unfold, sensing that something was definitely off.
If Nayou were here, she could immediately tell that these two had already been completely bamboozled by Shen Banshen.
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