"Mika-san, that formula is incorrect."
"Hm? Ah, you're right... Whoa—..."
After finishing our Tea Party duties, as usual, I was half-forcibly dragged to Nagisa's residence for ballistics tutoring.
My head feels like it's going to explode with every problem I solve, but since Nagisa is putting in so much effort, I can't just quit, which is its own form of torture. Honestly, looking at the practice problems makes me wonder why I even have to solve this crap. It feels like I'm solving one of those absurd elementary school word problems, the kind that goes, "John and Jane are doing something ridiculous, find the answer," which probably makes it even worse.
"...Mika-san."
"Ahaha, sorry, sorry! It just slipped out."
Recently, Nagisa figured out that my exclamation of "Whoa—" is often, in fact, a substitute for a curse word. How did she figure it out? Because "Whoa—" was the only thing coming out of my mouth while studying ballistics, of course. Maybe because I was originally quite foul-mouthed, it comes out more easily, and I got caught.
You might think it doesn't matter since it doesn't sound like a curse word, but Nagisa said that ever since she found out, it's been making her feel strangely uncomfortable.
Well, what can you do? If my Nagisa finds it unpleasant, I have to hold back. When you have a friend who takes time out of her busy schedule to teach you, that's a friend you should keep for a long time, and a relationship worth showing this much consideration for.
I resolved to restrain myself, but...
"Whoa——..."
Ah, I'm really losing it. Should I just quit?
"Mika-san, should we just stop?"
"N-Nagi-chan...! I'm sorry! It's my fault, so please don't abandon me so coldly! I've only got you!"
...On second thought, I'll shut up and fucking work hard. So please, just give me one more chance, Nagisa-sama.
Seriously, you're my only hope...
I'm not kidding; without Nagisa, I'm finished. It's not like I can go up to the super-genius pretty girl Urawa Hanako, who's said to have mastered the curriculum from first to third grade, and ask her to teach me.
Besides, the Hanako of this time period is still a fresh-faced new student who has no interaction with the Tea Party or the Sisterhood. She's a paradise flowing with milk and honey that no one has yet conquered...!
Oh, come to think of it, should I go find Hanako sometime? In the original story, she was so disillusioned with the reality of Trinity that she was seriously considering dropping out. One person like me trying to befriend her probably wouldn't change much. But if I could be of some help to her, wouldn't that be a nice story?
"Why is it that, just after saying I'm the only one you have, I get the feeling you're immediately thinking of someone else?"
Gasp. Nagisa, why are you so sharp? You just gave me a serious case of the chills...
"Ahaha, no way. It's all a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding! I'd never do something so cruel as to look past my second favorite person in the world, Nagi-chan, would I?"
"...Second?"
"Yep, 'cause the first is me, of course. A person who doesn't love themselves can't love others, after all☆"
A line worthy of a narcissist, you say? What can I do, it's the truth. My favorite character was and still is Mika.
Hearing that, Nagisa, who had been blinking with a dumbfounded expression, let out a small chuckle and covered her mouth with her hand. Her face was slightly flushed; it seems she liked my answer.
"That's uncharacteristically profound for you, Mika-san... Mmm, I suppose I have no choice. I'll let it slide, just this once."
"Thanks, Nagi-chan! I'll do my best, so please believe in me!"
I'm not sure which "it" she's letting slide, so I'll just gloss over it. She probably took it to mean I'll study hard, right?
"Still, looking at your progress so far, it's not bad. No, I'd even say it's good. At this pace, as long as you don't make any big mistakes on the actual exam, you should be able to pass ballistics just fine."
No, no, if you say it like that, it sounds like I'm some kind of genius who can go from scratch to a passing grade in such a short time.
"The reality is it's only possible because the passing grade is ridiculously low, but, yeah. Seeing a glimmer of hope is a good thing☆ In that case, I'll try a little harder!"
That's what my mouth is saying, but inwardly, I'm still trembling. I hate ballistics... It's so horrible... I want to quit this instant...
Thankfully, since Mika is a Trinity thoroughbred, it's not too difficult to hide my true feelings. Bright and cheerful people are often good at hiding their inner thoughts anyway, so it's not particularly strange. Just as Nagisa was used to being deceived by the original Mika, she's been deceived again.
"So, Mika-san, who is this student named Hifumi?"
Wait, why are you looking at the MomoTalk notifications on someone else's phone! And Hifumi, read the room!!!
◇─◇───◆─◈─◆───◇─◇
It's an unfamiliar place.
No, it's unfamiliar, yet also quite familiar.
"Mika, what do you believe defines a person?"
In the pre-dawn sky, as the darkness of night recedes, the beautiful constellations fade one by one. From the edge of the Tea Party's office, I watch the back of a girl gazing at the sky.
"Is it the personality they have formed throughout their life? Or is it the memories they have accumulated from the moment their consciousness awakened to the present?"
Above the girl's head, a halo in the shape of a Canterbury cross scatters a bright light. Her yellow hair, let down to her waist and tied in a way that resembles a tail at the end, glows faintly as if absorbing the fading starlight.
"If a person has lost their personality but retains their memories, can they be called their original self? And if their personality is maintained but they have forgotten everything, can that person be considered whole?"
The girl turned naturally and looked towards me. Then, as always, she gestured towards the tea table, beckoning me to sit.
"Either way, they are beings far from their original selves. One is incomplete, and the other has lost its roots."
"You're so unnecessarily long-winded and complicated, Seia-chan. There are other ways to start a conversation without posing a philosophical question, you know."
"Even if one is incomplete. Even if they have lost their roots. The fact that they are their original self does not change."
"Is there really a need to drag out the story that I, who has lost both personality and memory, am not the original person, Seia-chan?"
Hearing my answer, the girl, Yurizono Seia, smiled faintly and approached the tea table, pointing to a chair.
For some reason, I feel like I know what that gesture means, and a hollow laugh escapes me. The meaning of her previous words and her current actions is clear.
"But I'm not a knight, you know."
As I pulled the chair back for her, Seia sat down as if she had been waiting. What she holds is not suspicion, but certainty.
"You may not be a knight to me, but it might be a different story for someone else. Well, this is a minor matter, so I am under no obligation to tell you."
After pulling out the chair opposite Seia and sitting down, I saw that what was placed before me was, surprisingly, not tea.
A café mocha.
It was the coffee that I, who didn't know much about coffee, had most often ordered takeout along with caramel macchiatos at cafes. I don't really like bitter things, but these two were the kind souls that made me realize the harmony of sweet and bitter is just right.
Seeing it in this unexpected place, I gave a bitter smile and lifted the cup. As the sweet taste of chocolate and the bitter taste of coffee filled my mouth, an old memory resurfaced after a long time.
For just a cup of coffee, this is too great a gift. Even if I were to go to a cafe in Kivotos and order a coffee, I wouldn't feel this way. For an unexpected person in an unexpected place to serve me my favorite coffee must mean that she has accepted me for who I truly am.
"Are the 'you's of the future happy?"
I asked Seia, and her fox ears perked up. Perhaps she didn't expect this question.
"I see, you are a quick study. As expected, you are not Mika."
"You already know from my answer, so is there really a need to reconfirm it like that, Seia-chan?"
"Ahem. But you are also Mika."
"Hmm...? What do you mean by that? I don't quite understand."
"Mika's personality has been overlaid onto you, and you are building new memories with Mika's body. You cannot be called the original Mika, but you can be called Mika. That is the conclusion that I, that we, have reached."
Is this a story about how my identity will be revealed someday, and Seia, and probably Nagisa too, will accept it? I hope so. Now that the Seia of the 'future' has revealed herself to me, it's safe to assume the path back to my original world is already closed.
"For the record, it was not we who found out, but you who revealed it first. Just remember that there was a good reason for it. You will realize it when the time comes. Also, do not worry too much if things seem to go a little awry."
"Heeh... To think I revealed it myself, that's a bit of a surprise☆"
"It was a surprise for us as well... Ah, but let us stop this story here. I have invited you here because there is one thing I wish to tell you. If we do not get to the main point, there would be no meaning in calling you here."
A titmouse flew down and landed on top of Seia's head. I don't think the present Seia is raising a titmouse. I wonder at what point she started. Or maybe it's not a real bird, but something that only exists in this space.
"When the most important moment of choice comes for you, do not hesitate. You must not hesitate. Hesitation will ruin everything."
I don't know when she stood up, but Seia, who had appeared next to me like a ghost, reached out and gently stroked my head. The feeling was a bit strange due to the arm warmers she was wearing.
"Remember. You may doubt the choices you make for yourself, but you need not doubt the choices you make for us. The path you choose will lead everyone——"
And then, the world of the dream collapsed.